11 Things Unmarried Women Appreciate About Their Lives More As They Get Older
Unmarried women cherish their autonomy more than anything.
Nana_studio | Shutterstock While social norms and family expectations often pressure women to get married, "settle down," and prioritize finding their partner over other life experiences early in their lives, there's a reason why more women are staying single today. Many even argue that having a partner isn't a necessity for living a fulfilling and happy life, and instead focus on things — whether it's their career, motherhood, travel, or creative endeavors — that genuinely bring them joy.
While it may not be as enjoyable for men to remain single with age, like a study from Social Psychological and Personality Science argues, there are many things unmarried women appreciate about their lives more as they get older that ensure they're not only healthy, but also happy, fulfilled, and motivated — all without a partner or husband.
Here are 11 things unmarried women appreciate about their lives more as they get older
1. Having the freedom to make their own choices
carlesmiro | Shutterstock
While decision-making and planning for the future is often something that couples appreciate and enjoy doing together, unmarried women love the freedom of making choices with only their best interests in mind. From small things like what they want for dinner to bigger things moving to a different state, they don't have to compromise with others — they just do what they want and focus on their own best interests.
This is why the experience and autonomy of singlehood isn't a transitional period of life, but something that unmarried women appreciate about their lives as they get older — a "state of being," like a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships explains.
2. Living in a home that reflects their identity
pikselstock | Shutterstock
While married couples have to compromise on things like design, aesthetics, and even furniture choices when they move in together or get a new home, unmarried women have full freedom to craft their spaces however they choose. When they come home, they're immediately met with the expansive self-expression and comfort of their own space filled with all of their things, hobbies, and favorite things.
Married couples have to downsize, get rid of things to make space, and compromise on what kinds of items they appreciate in a home, which can be exciting and invigorating in its own way, for some. But married women can do whatever they want with their space without having to ask for anyone else's permission or opinion.
3. Spending money how they want
wavebreakmedia | Shutterstock
According to a study from American Sociological Review, financial uncertainty, decision-making, and planning tends to put a lot of stress onto relationships, especially between couples who have differing views about money and spending. However, financial planning and spending are some of the things unmarried women appreciate about their lives more as they get older, especially if they're making more and boasting a kind of financial literacy that ensures stability.
Whether they're going to the grocery store, shopping for clothes, or planning vacations, they can spend and save the kind of money they're comfortable with — never taking on additional stress or strain from needing to compromise with a partner before making a decision.
While it's true that they might be missing out on some of the perks of a double-income lifestyle, for the most part, they're able to craft a financial situation and plan that works best for them and avoid some of the additional vulnerabilities that come from being in a dual earner household.
4. Their secure sense of self-worth
Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock
Many couples fall into the trap of lowered self-esteem and codependent behaviors in their marriages because they learn to rely on their partners for praise, validation, protection, and emotional security. When they're alone or on their own, they don't have the kind of support they need from their partner to thrive — often sabotaging their sense of self, independence, and individuality.
That's why alone time for couples in marriages is so wildly important — something that unmarried women have plenty of experience with appreciating, prioritizing, and crafting. They don't have to worry about limiting their alone time or shortening their hobbies for the sake of time with their partners and most importantly, their self-worth and self-esteem is internally secure.
They're not searching for validation, praise, and acceptance in a partner, but rather feeding into hobbies, habits, and experiences that build a stable sense of internal self-worth.
5. Practicing self-care and wellness habits
Chay_Tee | Shutterstock
While mothers and wives may need to be pushed into prioritizing self-care rituals and healthy habits, these practices are some of the things unmarried women appreciate about their lives more as they get older. Of course, they nurture healthy social networks and relationships, but at the end of the day, they only have themselves — making self-care, personal wellness, and health a priority in their routines.
Whether it's working out everyday, investing in creative hobbies, making time for social connections, or simply having mindful time at the end of a busy day, their discipline and independence when it comes to wellness is wildly beneficial for their long-term health and happiness.
6. Not having to deal with unbalanced emotional labor
wavebreakmedia | Shutterstock
The kinds of relationships and connections that unmarried women invest in are worth the time and effort they spend on them. They choose friendships and relationships with a kind of mutual respect and balance that even the longest marriages still have trouble succeeding at. Of course, not all marriages are unbalanced — with women taking on the majority of household and emotional labor — but many do, according to a 2015 study.
When their relationships don't feel respectful, balanced, or fulfilling, they can walk away or set boundaries without worrying about the state of their romantic life or the health of their children. They appreciate not having to carry emotional burdens taking care of their partners or putting their needs aside for their comfort.
It's this kind of independence and self-assuredness that can be scary at times, but is often empowering and freeing for unmarried women who choose to embrace singlehood as they get older.
7. Their time is their own
Kostikova Natalia | Shutterstock
Whether it's planning an evening after work, spending a weekend lounging around, or taking on an impulsive last-minute trip with friends, having time that is solely their own is one of the things unmarried women appreciate about their lives as they get older.
Especially with the growing self-confidence and wisdom of age, time becomes a precious commodity — something that many women don't recognize early in life when they're committing to a lifelong partner or settling down.
That's not to say that all married women don't have freedom or autonomy over their time and schedules — healthy partnerships have communication patterns and trust that protects that independence — but for unmarried women, it's a different kind of autonomy.
8. Having space for creativity
ullision | Shutterstock
According to a study from the American Journal of Public Health, creativity and health are interlinked — with people who make time for things like expressive writing and creative endeavors boasting better physical and mental health outcomes.
So, it's not surprising that unmarried women with independence and autonomy over their creative endeavors and time are happier and more appreciative with age. They enjoy having the freedom to write for hours on the weekend without needing to attend to another person or making time when they're not feeling emotionally fulfilled for art.
9. Freedom to change their mind
HIV in View | Shutterstock
Of course, anyone has the freedom to change their mind and express different opinions throughout their life, whether they're married or not. But sometimes, with the added pressure of routines and expectations in a relationship, it can feel more uncomfortable to do. In fact, many of us are naturally wired to resist changing our minds, but unmarried women don't have marital partners placing expectation and emphasis on their words.
Freedom to change their minds is one of the things unmarried women appreciate about their lives more as they get older, because whether it's something small like a change to their daily schedule or a larger life decision, they only have themselves to support and consider.
10. Saying 'no' without guilt
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
According to psychotherapist Nancy Colier, many women live in a constant state of guilt where they feel insecure or unworthy if they're not making everyone around them happy all of the time. Especially for married couples, who take on a lot of emotional and cognitive labor in their relationships, ensuring their partners are happy plays a role in how they feel about themselves.
However, saying "no" without guilt and only feeling pressure to take care of themselves is one of the things unmarried women appreciate about their lives more as they get older. They can set boundaries, prioritize their needs, and cultivate a lifestyle that makes sense for them, without being followed by the societal and marital guilt that plagues many other people's lives.
11. Their deep friendships
Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock
Women tend to thrive — whether they're married or not — when they have solid friendships to rely on. According to a 2022 study, healthy female friendships and solid social circles for women are both associated with better mental health, physical well-being, and relationship health.
With more time and freedom to invest in these platonic relationships, it's not surprising that married women truly build strong and intentional bonds with their friends. They're one of the things unmarried women appreciate about their lives more as they get older, because as deep, thoughtful, and supportive as they are, they're effortlessly simple.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
