If A Man Deeply Respects You, He'll Almost Always Do These 10 Things
Respect is the foundation of love, and these things are what men do when they really mean it.
GaudiLab | Canva Are you in a new relationship and wondering if you’re being treated the way you truly deserve? The question is common because it’s all too easy to ignore disrespectful behavior when you’re in the grips of lust, a tad infatuated, or feel like you’re falling in love.
However, it’s just as easy to tell if a guy respects you when you look for consistency in his behavior. The way a man regularly treats you is a window into his soul. When he respects you, it will be apparent in his every action.
If a man deeply respects you, he'll almost always do these 10 things:
1. Give you his full attention
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This one seems obvious, but not when one of the most common issues women have is feeling a lack of attention from a guy. Be careful to separate neediness from the right to feel wanted. As shown by research from the American Psychological Association, when a man respects you, he wants to see you, talk to you, answer your calls right away, and fully engage when you’re together.
If he often cancels plans, neglects to respond to messages, doesn’t initiate dates or texts his mates during romantic dinners, respect for you isn’t really at the top of his mind. You deserve the attention you want to give in a relationship, and if he’s not available physically, emotionally, or mentally, move on and invest your valuable time in someone who is.
2. Show interest in your opinions
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There’s nothing worse than voicing an opinion during a conversation and being immediately shut down. Whether he agrees with you or not, a man who respects you will be interested in what you have to say and eager to debate the finer details of it. He’ll be curious about how your mind works and interested in delving right in.
He’ll regularly ask for your opinion and take it seriously. Just like women, most men want the company of someone who can offer advice, different perceptions, and mental stimulation. If you’re with a guy who either laughs when you offer a point of view or dismisses it off-hand, not only is he showing a lack of respect, he’s got a lot of growing up to do.
3. Allow you your freedom
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When you think about controlling behavior, whether it’s from a guy, a boss, or a parent, the foundation of it is generally fear or insecurity. For example, a boss might throw his or her weight around because they’re on a power trip that covers up their self-esteem issues. A parent may try to control your actions because they’re fearful that something bad will happen to you.
In the case of relationships, controlling men use the behavior as a form of protection for themselves. While this often manifests in a display of power and strength, it comes from a deeply ingrained place of fear, insecurity, or feelings of unworthiness. In the beginning, controlling you might mean simple actions like ordering your meal without asking what you want or trying to influence your decisions.
Already, this shows a lack of respect because a guy who cares trusts that you know how to run your own life. Over time, these small actions can turn into jealousy, possessiveness, manipulation, and even violence. Always respect yourself enough to keep control of your own life, firmly in your own hands.
4. Open up emotionally
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A study from The American Psychological Association explored how it may be a stereotype that men find it hard to open up emotionally, but, alas, sometimes it’s true. Whether it’s society's constrictions, upbringing, or insecurity, the world just isn’t as accepting of men displaying emotions as it is of women. Therefore, when a guy does open up to you about his past, his worries, or his fears, you can be sure he respects you enough to be vulnerable with you.
This has as much to do with trust as it does with respect. It’s hard to trust someone without respecting them, because you don’t feel secure enough to do so with someone whose opinion doesn’t count. So, while it might not seem like a big deal when he tells you about how his dad made him feel insignificant, know that it’s a sure sign of emotional respect.
5. Encourage your dreams
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Having respect for someone makes you feel like you’d do anything to help them succeed. You admire the traits that make them who they are, you like feeling proud of them, and you want to encourage them toward further success. This is even more prominent at the beginning of a relationship when those very things are what attract you to someone in the first place.
If your guy often throws cold water on your enthusiasm, isn’t interested in encouraging or discussing your goals, or, worse, sabotages efforts to improve yourself, he isn’t displaying respect. More than likely, he’s jealous and trying to keep you from spreading your wings, so you’ll fit better into his plans. That’s your cue to fly away.
6. Set expectations
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Whether you’ve only had five dates or you’re about to hit the year mark, a man who respects you will openly discuss your relationship. Sometimes, though, this might mean he’s honest about the fact that he doesn’t want anything serious right now.
However, as long as he’s putting that on the table, you’ll know he respects you. He’s not interested in deceiving you about his feelings, just to keep you hanging in there for his pleasure. In that case, it’s entirely up to you to stay or go if his ideas don’t match your own.
He won’t be scared of discussing where you stand in terms of exclusivity, regular weekend plans, or when to meet each other’s parents, either. No matter what comes of the discussions, a guy who respects you will offer honest, open opinions, to the best of his ability.
7. Bring you into his circle
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If you’ve been seeing a guy for a while and you spend a bit of time together, it makes sense that eventually you’ll meet each other’s friends, family, or workmates. When he respects you, he’ll want to check out all the different aspects of your life and find out what makes you tick.
He’ll also want you to join him by taking you to work functions, hanging out with his mates, or watching him play soccer on the weekend. Research on the impact on well-being of secret relationships cautions that if you’re mainly in the dark about a guy’s life, like you don’t know the names of any of his friends or he’s secretive about what he does during the week, be wary of the fact he might not think you’re worth the investment, which is disrespectful, to say the least.
8. Put you first
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If a guy is, for example, only interested in physical intimacy and doesn’t respect you at all, he’s going to behave selfishly most of the time. This extends to all aspects of the relationship, where he’ll probably be less concerned with your needs and more focused on his, even science agrees as supported by a 2003 study.
A guy who respects you will put you first, most of the time. He’ll make sure you like the restaurant he’s chosen, give you his jacket when it’s cold, try to make you laugh, and be considerate of your feelings. Always remember that you deserve no less.
9. Manage jealousy
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Jealousy is a bit confusing because feeling the effects in a small way isn’t necessarily a bad sign. After all, if another man hits on you and your guy feels a bit jealous, he’s also reminded of your value and how lucky he is to have you, so he kind of likes it at the same time.
However, there’s a big difference between this and a man who wants to know where you are all the time, goes through your phone, or has a fit every time you go out without him. These types of actions scream disrespect because he doesn’t trust you or value your privacy.
10. Be your #1 fan
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Think about someone you respect. Maybe it’s your mum, a former teacher, or your best friend. When you respect someone, you are their number one fan and want to see them happy, healthy, and confident in life. A guy who respects you will be in your corner, as your number one fan, in just the same way.
He won’t criticize you, try to make you feel bad about your decisions, or talk you out of dying your hair black because he likes blondes better. He’ll see beyond all that to the real you and won’t selfishly try to bend you to his desires. He’ll understand and value what he’s found in you, whether it’s a casual romance or a long-term relationship. And that’s the sort of treatment you truly deserve.
Mark Rosenfield is a dating coach who writes to help women find love within and without. He is the author of Make Him Yours: Beating the Odds of Modern Dating.
