If A Man Respects You Deeply, He'll Almost Always Do These 4 Things
When a man truly honors you, these everyday actions become second nature.
Ashford Marx | Pexels Building a new relationship can be fun and exciting. You go out, spend time together, laugh, and enjoy getting to know each other. You talk about life and challenges. You listen to each other and think, “Wow, this person is nice, and we get along great.”
Life moves forward as you keep building what feels like a solid relationship. But eventually, you run into a conflict and begin to wonder if he even had any respect for you from the beginning. The question is valid, and the answer is shown by his behavior.
If a man respects you deeply, he'll almost always do these four things:
1. Respect other women
It might sound out of left field because it seems to have little to do with you, but how a man respects other women (his mother, sisters, friends, co-workers, and strangers) says a lot about his view of women in general and ultimately, how he will treat you in the long run.
Keep in mind the seemingly perfect man doesn’t exist. Even the best guy will shut down, get angry sometimes, and become self-absorbed.
2. Respects customer service workers
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How does he treat those in the service industry? Does he talk down to them, seem dismissive and arrogant, or is he caring and patient, especially if someone makes a mistake?
How he speaks with or talks about people in the service industry shows the maturity of a man (and anyone, really). His interactions with service workers show how he handles power when there is no threat, as well as the likelihood he will escalate non-threatening situations, as explored by a study of motives and control in escalatory conflicts in intimate relationships.
3. Respect himself
He takes care of himself, and not in a self-absorbed way. He is aware of the importance of balancing his needs with the needs of others.
Couples disagree. Unless you’re in a relationship with someone exactly like you (which is doubtful and rather narcissistic), you won’t see things in quite the same way. So, he is open to learning and growing while at the same time being confident in his thoughts and direction in life.
Do you respect him as a person? If there is any underlying contempt, he will feel it and mirror your energy. No matter what you say or how you try to explain your side of a conflict, an underlying lack of respect will always cloud the situation.
It is often done subconsciously, but this is the nature of the relationship dance. You are not perfect either. We are human, after all. The question is, are you both perfect together and committed to respecting one another?
4. Respect boundaries
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Do you feel safe being honest with him about how you feel? Does he respect your boundaries? Do you feel free to disagree? If there are any reservations, you will feel it in your body. Your body is a wealth of information on how safe or unsafe you feel in any relationship.
After your first disagreement, it may seem like what was once a good connection has completely flipped. You take a step back because now it feels confusing. There’s an animosity. It’s not spoken out loud, but you can feel the tension in the air.
You try to reach out, but he becomes vague. It seems like he’s not sure what you’re asking. You try to be clear, but you both go around in circles. You can tell he’s getting exhausted, and so are you.
You’re trying to make sense out of what feels confusing. It’s no longer clear and safe. This is where you both end up playing the “silent game” for a while. Eventually, time moves on, and you feel connected again. You’re laughing, creating that familiar banter you love so much. And the intimacy? Well, that’s another amazing thing altogether.
You chalk it all up to nothing more than a misunderstanding. You must have misread it in some way. After all, relationships are confusing because you both think differently, and misunderstandings happen. You get out of sync. This is normal.
A study of conflict resolution styles in couples showed that those who validate each other have higher relationship quality, even if they still disagree. But some people disagree too much or in a way that isn't healthy. After all, even when you disagree, you should always show respect toward one another.
To know if you have what it takes, keep in mind that you must feel safe. Emotional safety is the foundation of a solid relationship that will help you grow in other areas that still need work.
Britta Neinast is a relationship coach working with women to teach them how to trust again and feel safe in their relationships.
