11 Clear Signs A Man Will Never Be Worth Your Time Or Attention
Save yourself the trouble of falling for a guy like this.
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock It’s hard to find a good guy. It may seem as though they no longer exist. Between dating apps and social media pick-up lines, weaving out the good from the bad can feel like an impossible task. Sometimes, a person may be good at hiding their red flags. He can act wonderfully, but deep down, he is not worth your time. If you’re worried you’re with the wrong guy, listen to your gut. Look out for these clear signs that prove he’ll never be worth your time.
“These red-blooded males wear clean-cut suits and ties. Some swear by green smoothies. Others are Star Wars die-hards. They are chill and relaxed. But don’t be fooled. These same men have twisted double-edged knives into the hearts of women who fell for them. Some are still nursing emotional scars. A wise man once said, ‘Unless you know, you’ll never know,’” writes Leah Njoki. “In the dating world, if you don’t know the type of men (and women) incapable of treating you like the queen you are, you’ll never know the ones who can.” These clear signs will tell you everything you need to know about a man who isn’t worth your time or attention.
These are 11 clear signs a man will never be worth your time or attention
1. He always cancels
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So, you meet a guy. He’s cute, and you’re feeling good about it. Talking through text is going great. Now it’s time to make plans. He starts dodging the question, or he always has an excuse as to why he can’t make it. Finally, you’re able to lock down plans.
The date comes, and he cancels. Has some sort of excuse you buy. Eventually, you give him another chance, and he cancels again. Sound familiar? Any guy who doesn’t prioritize spending time with you is not worth your attention. When it’s clear you want to hang out more than he does, he’s not worth your time.
2. He’s inconsistent with his feelings
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We’ve all experienced men who are hot one day and cold the next. He never seems consistent in his feelings towards you. Sometimes, he can make you feel like you’re on top of the world. Other times, he is so cold you can’t tell if he even likes you. A guy who is inconsistent with his feelings towards you will never be worth your time or attention.
“A one-sided relationship is characterized by one person investing more energy and effort into making the relationship work. In this imbalanced dynamic, one person puts in more time and effort or has less control,” says Kendra Cherry, MSEd. "The problem with any one-sided relationship is that it can be draining and challenging to sustain over the long haul. This can be contrasted with healthy relationships characterized by mutual honesty, trust, and commitment.”
3. He never texts you back
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There is no bigger red flag than a guy who is flaky with his texting. Sometimes, he’ll start a conversation and then leave you hanging. What is more frustrating than someone who reaches out to you but then stops responding? Being able to have a healthy conversation with a man is important. If he never texts you back, he isn’t worth your time.
Failing to text back paints a picture. He’s telling you that he does not care enough to put in even the most basic effort. Talking to you will never feel like a chore for the right guy. He will prioritize you. A guy who won’t isn’t worth your time or attention.
4. He disrespects boundaries
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Establishing boundaries, especially in a new relationship, is crucial. It sets the tone for the entire relationship. When you find the right guy, he will be the perfect fit for your life. He’ll respect your boundaries and encourage you to keep them. He’ll only want the best for you. A guy who has bad intentions, on the other hand, will always disrespect your boundaries. He is not worth your time or energy.
“Boundaries are essential for human connection and personal safety. They protect you, set the rules of engagement, and allow you to keep your individuality. Boundaries may be physical, emotional, mental, material, or time-related,” says Sandra Silva. “Not everyone respects other people’s boundaries, though. And, sometimes, you may not be aware someone has crossed the line. But it’s important that you teach others how to treat you.”
5. He’s all talk
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We all know someone who is all talk and no action. Whether it’s a friend, a colleague, or a romantic interest, it’s frustrating to deal with someone who won’t put their money where their mouth is. Someone can talk a big game, but if they don’t follow through with the action, it’s meaningless. It’s heartbreaking to put your effort into someone only to get nothing in return.
If a man is talking you up but refuses to follow through, he isn’t worth your time or attention. Maybe he promises to take you on a nice date, or he promises you quality time and never follows through. It’s hard to maintain a relationship with someone who doesn’t view it as a priority. It’s time to walk away from a man like this.
6. He’s emotionally unavailable
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To have a strong relationship with a man, he needs to be emotionally available. He has to want the same thing as you. If he doesn’t allow himself to connect with you on a deep level, he isn’t worth your attention. No relationship will flourish if one party isn’t willing to give it their all.
“Navigating a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man can feel like piecing together a puzzle, one hint at a time. While he might not express his feelings in the ways you’re used to, love can still shine through in the small, significant ways he shows up for you. By recognizing the signs, you may get a glimpse of his true feelings, even if he's not ready to say the words out loud,” says Sanjana Gupta. “However, it's important to remember that healthy relationships require open communication and emotional intimacy. If you find yourself in a relationship where your needs aren't being met, you need to prioritize your own well-being and consider whether the person is really the one for you.”
7. He makes you feel small
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You’ll know you found the right man when he lifts you. He wants to make you better. He supports you in everything you do. When you’re with a guy who makes you feel small, it’s clear he doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
Someone who belittles you and makes you feel strong doesn’t truly care about you. If he insults you or questions who you are as a person, he is not worth your time. Giving attention to someone who feels better about himself when he puts you down is never worth your time. It's a cruel way to treat someone. You will know a guy is right for you by how he treats you.
8. He’s self-centered
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To maintain a good relationship, whether it’s romantic or platonic, both people have to be selfless where it counts. That doesn’t mean putting your feelings on the back burner forever. It does, however, mean that you should put time and effort into making that person feel happy and heard. A self-centered man will never do this. He will only care about his own needs.
If a guy refuses to put his pride aside and put you first, he is too self-centered to be worth your time. For most women, it can be hard not to put others before ourselves. If a man is self-centered, you may be tempted to play into it. This is when you need to put your people-pleasing aside and know that a man who is too self-centered to care about you is not worth your attention.
9. He is always involved in drama
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Everyone has their past and brings emotional baggage into their next relationship. However, if a man is always talking about his ‘crazy’ ex or how poorly he’s been treated, he may not be worth your time. If he’s caught up in arguing with his ex or his friends, it’s obvious he’s not ready to be in a serious relationship.
“There is a growing prevalence of loneliness in this country, and in the absence of feeling seen and heard, it’s easy to get distracted by those around us,” says Scott Lyons on people who need drama. “Like the star of any show, they need the one-way interaction of an audience — people whose only role is to bear witness to the drama. They also like to assign roles to the rest of the cast. And if cast mates don’t deliver the right lines, there will likely be trouble.”
10. Your gut says no
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Women have seriously strong intuitions, and research proves it. We can feel when something is off. It could be in our careers or personal relationships. We can especially feel it when we start dating someone new. We all have experienced that gut feeling that tells us something just isn’t right.
Sometimes, our intuitions manifest as physical symptoms. If you feel uneasy in your stomach around a guy, it’s clear he isn’t worth your attention. It can also appear more subtly. Maybe there is just that feeling that something isn’t right whenever you talk to him. Does something feel too good to be true? It might be. Never be afraid to trust your gut.
11. He isn’t supportive
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We all need a partner who is supportive. We can’t grow in our personal, professional, or romantic lives when the person we’re with isn’t on board. Support is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. It helps give you confidence in life, knowing you have someone in your corner if things get tough. An unsupportive partner is not worth your time or attention.
“Although you used to turn to your partner for emotional support, over time you’ve learned that your partner likely won’t be there for you in the way you want. As a result, you may get very upset when your partner doesn’t support you, react with surface emotions such as anger or frustration, or eventually open up less to your partner,” says Our Relationship.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
