If A Man Is Bad News, These 5 Clues Will Make It Obvious
You don't have to be a detective to spot these red flags.
PeopleImages | Canva Every once in a while, we find ourselves in a relationship that doesn't seem to be working out, no matter how attentive, honest, or loving we are. This, my friends, is called a one-sided relationship.
Many people don't realize or accept that they're in one; therefore, they spend far too much time giving without receiving. By acknowledging the following signs, you'll be able to detect if you're getting the short end of the stick and if a man is bad news.
If a man is bad news, these 5 clues will make it obvious:
1. He makes you feel like a nuisance
No matter what the issue is, how unhappy you two are, you always seem to be the one who initiates the conversation about it. He almost always responds with an eye roll.
In other words, talking about this "apparent problem" you two may have is an inconvenience for him and a big waste of time. Next time you want to initiate a "chat," start it off with a goodbye.
2. He makes you feel like he's always doing you a big favor
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You find yourself nervous asking him to hang out with you, as if you're asking him for a "big favor." His unenthusiastic response proves that spending an intimate night out with you is more of a hassle than a pleasure.
So instead of being "the burden," do yourself the favor and peace out! Research describes this as favor banking which involves doing unsolicited favors to create a tally that they later reference to guilt you into returning the favor.
3. He's oblivious
You've been working your tail off at work and finally got the promotion you've been pushing for, yet your happy moment isn't recognized. Why?
Because he didn't know you were up for one. Honestly, he doesn't even know what you do for a living. His knowledge of you and your everyday life consists of your favorite cocktail and your address.
So instead of making him another task to conquer, tell him to find a new address to occupy ... he seems to be good at that. Individuals may act obliviously as a strategic way to deny responsibility and shift blame. A 2021 study explained that this passive defense allows them to create confusion and make you question your reality.
4. He always makes excuses
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"Sorry I didn't call you back all weekend, I was out of town with my friends." Oh okay. Let me get this straight, your phone doesn't work in other zip codes or around your friends? Give me a break, pal. If your beau is giving you lame excuses like this, tell him he's better off staying out of town ... permanently.
Constant excuses can divert attention from deeper issues and shield someone from taking accountability. Research has argued that a partner who consistently makes excuses is exhibiting behaviors strongly associated with avoidant attachment, manipulation, or disinterest.
5. He treats you like a hangover cure
You two have a Netflix account, rather than a Fandango account. You order in, rather than dine out, and the only "friend" of his you've met is his roommate (which doesn't count).
All in all, your beau is essentially using you as his hangover cure. So next time you receive a "sweet" text saying, "Babe, let's just stay in tonight, I'm so tired." Politely respond that your bed and breakfast is booked ... forever. Good luck, buddy, and drink plenty of water!
Ashley Kaylor is a freelance writer and former contributor to Guest of a Guest.
