If Your Mom Does These 11 Things Consistently, You're Likely Her Favorite Kid
fizkes | Shutterstock Most moms carry the same amount of love for all of their kids, but sometimes it can be pretty obvious who's the one getting the extra bit of love. It's the child that gets excused from behaving badly while the others get reprimanded, or the one who might get the most affection and is allowed to have a bit more freedom. And if your mom does these things consistently, you're likely her favorite kid. Of course, favoritism doesn't mean that a mom loves one child a more unfair way than she does her others; rather, it's usually just a reflection of a unique bond that she shares with one of her kids.
It's the kid that she tends to gravitate toward the most, whether it's because that kid might be just like her personality-wise or needs a bit more love and attention than the rest. Whatever the case may be, and it differs from different mother-child relationships, it's the kind of favoritism that isn't easy to spot unless you know what to look for. Even as an adult, being the favorite comes with perks for sure, but it also shows just how deep the connection you have with your mother really is.
If your mom does these 11 things consistently, you're likely her favorite kid
1. She always texts or calls you first
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It doesn't even have to be an in-depth conversation that she's trying to have with you. But if you find that your mom is always calling you to check in on how you're doing or sending a text throughout the day to let you know she's thinking of you, it might be because she secretly favors you above the rest of your siblings.
"Building and maintaining open communication with your adult child is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship. As children grow into adulthood, the dynamics change and it becomes essential to adapt your approach to encourage them to open up," encouraged psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein.
She's showing you that you're the first person on her mind. She's never reaching out because she feels obligated to do so, but because she genuinely wants to check in on you. She wants to be the one that you rely on and the one who gets to be the first to talk to you as you're starting your day or right before you go to bed.
2. She prioritizes your opinions and advice
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If your mom listens to your advice or opinions consistently, you're likely her favorite kid. She's showing you that your thoughts matter to her and she wholeheartedly trusts your judgment.
It's not just about going to you for the advice or to hear what you think, but about listening as well. She isn't just nodding along and haphazardly taking in your words, she's genuinely considering what you're telling her.
It could be about something simple like what she should make for the next family gathering, or something more complex, like her next career move. Either way, she trusts what you're saying and will take it into account as she makes her decision.
3. She offers you the first choice in family decisions
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It could be related to choosing the movie that you all are going to watch together, the restaurant that you should go to for dinner, or even the vacation spot that the family will be traveling to. Either way, if she's allowing you the first pick out of everyone else, it's because she genuinely values your opinion but also cares about your preferences.
She actively wants to give you the power in the decision-making process because she cares about what you want, and she also just wants you to be happy with whatever the rest of the family is going. You can always tell it's a meaningful gesture as well from how consistent she is about asking you for your vote on things. It's not just something she does once in a blue moon.
4. She remembers every little detail about your life
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It could be something as simple as the name of a friend you mentioned in passing or when she brings over the snack that you always enjoyed as a kid. When she does this, she's showing you that your interests matter and she'll do her best to remember them.
In fact, remembering them doesn't take any effort at all. She doesn't just recall these things, she's actively paying attention to what you talk about with her.
"Listen to the details of your children's lives, and don't just listen, remember them... whether you're interested or not. Furthermore, ask about those details, show them you know them. Parenting is a boots-on-the-ground endeavor," psychotherapist Nancy Colier insisted.
She even is able to notice patterns in your behavior and about your character, especially as you get older. She knows you just as well as you may know yourself, maybe even more considering she's your mother and brought you into this world.
She's also never trying to stop learning more about you, too. Constantly asking questions and sparking up conversations to hear how your mind works.
5. She texts memes that remind her of you
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They might be extremely corny and unfunny, but there's something heartwarming about your mom texting you something that's made her laugh and think of you. You pop into her mind probably multiple times a day and she never gets tired of wanting to let you know that she's thinking of you.
This effort shows that she truly does value the connection and bond that the two of you have. It's honestly the thought behind the meme than the meme itself that matter most.
She's not sending these messages to every single child, she's sending them purely to you. Even if it's just a quick little message, she's showing just how different the relationship she has with you is compared to your siblings.
6. She defends you more fiercely than anyone else
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If your mom defends you more than your siblings, you're likely her favorite kid. In her eyes, you can simply do no wrong. She's going to have your back, no matter what. She's the first to step in when she senses that you're being treated unfairly or being disrespected, whether it's by another family member or a complete stranger.
"Protecting our children from difficult feelings and hardships in life is an impossible task. As much as we know this deep down, many parents still go out of their way to protect their children from knowing how difficult and scary life can be," psychoanalyst Tara Goldberg explained.
She instinctively wants the world to see you in the best possible light because that's how she sees you. A mom with a favorite kid has no problem jumping into overprotective mode when she feels like her child is being taken advantage of. And it doesn't even matter how old you get, she'll constantly be in "mama bear" mode for you.
7. She spoils you in small but meaningful ways
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It's never anything over-the-top or completely unnecessary, but these gestures can prove that you might be her favorite kid. It's often the little things that can make your day better without anyone outright noticing. Because she pays such close attention to you, she knows the exact things that will brighten your day.
"The more we as parents express words and actions that are supportive and caring, the more their children, at any age, will feel empowered to take on life's challenges and succeed. In our fast-paced parenting lives, we must consistently show our children and teens how much we love them," Bernstein pointed out.
Whether it's stopping by with your favorite coffee from the cafe on the corner or bringing you a tiny trinket she saw while out shopping, these small gestures are nothing crazy or extravagant, but they're just enough to show you how much she cares about making sure you have a smile on your face at all times.
8. She raves about you to her friends
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You're constantly coming up in conversation when she's talking to her friends, and it isn't just updating them about the things you're doing in your life either. Instead, she's raving and complimenting you to anyone who will listen.
It's purely because of how proud she is of you and also because she has an immense amount of pride at the fact that you're her child. It's never just a passing mention, but she actually lights up entirely when you come up in conversation.
She tells stories of your latest accomplishments and she brags about how good you might be doing in life. Even if you don't think that of yourself, your mom sees the good in everything that you do and won't hesitate to uplift you when you need it.
9. She shows extra concern when you're sick or stressed
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The moment your mom can sense something might be wrong with you, she'll quickly drop what she's doing to make sure you're doing okay. Even if you're insisting that you're fine, she'll still come over and check on you, or she'll make sure to call on the hour, every hour.
"You don’t need to be a therapist to help your child break free from overthinking. You just need to move from repeated reassuring to mindset mentoring. The shift is decisive, and the impact on your child can be highly positive," encouraged Bernstein.
Whether you're dealing with a physical illness like a cold or flu, or you're just going through something mentally and feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, she's there for you. She'll come over with a home-cooked meal and be a listening ear as you vent about whatever might be bothering you. She never wants you to feel like you're alone and will give you the extra care that you might be looking for.
10. She laughs off your quirks instead of judging them
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Whether you have a weird habit that everyone else in your family pokes fun at or an unusual interest that you can ramble on and on about, your mom is the one person who will never judge you for that. The acceptance she has for the kind of person you are shows just how much she values you.
While others may be quick to point out your quirks, your mom reassures you that there's nothing wrong with being different. Throughout your life, you always felt comfortable enough to be exactly who you are around her. You never felt criticized or dismissed.
Maybe your siblings get the side-eye or mild criticism for their behavior, but not you. Instead, you get a pass.
11. She goes out of her way to make your life easier
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If your mom is regularly going out of her way to make sure the load is taken off of your plate, you're likely her favorite kid and it's usually the biggest sign of how much she prioritizes you in her life. It doesn't matter how old you are — she'll do things that let you know she never wants you to feel overwhelmed. And the thing is, it doesn't bother her at all to do these things.
"While you can't truly control the outcome of your child's life, it is crucial for you as a parent of an son or daughter to do all you can to create optimal, facilitative conditions for their success," Bernstein said.
She'll happily run an errand for you or remind you of something important that you have coming up just in case you end up forgetting. It's her way of showing that she's got you and won't let you fall. She's showing up for the everyday things and anticipating what you might need before you may even know that yourself.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
