If Your Mom Uses These 11 Phrases, You Were Raised By A Very Good Woman
Maria Sbytova / Shutterstock A mother’s role in the lives of her children is unmatched. From day one, she only wants the best for you. Life can be tough, and she might not always make the right decisions, but at the end of the day, her kids are her priority. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. However, if a very good woman raised you, you will recognize specific phrases she used to boost your confidence and support you.
The behavior our parents model teaches us the most. If you had a mother who always shared positive affirmations with you, you would likely grow up confident and able to do the same for those in your life. A good woman supports her children and teaches them how to be the best adults they can be. A truly wonderful mother knows that words matter. Telling your children the wrong thing can leave a lasting impact on their self-esteem and coping skills. There are certain phrases that mothers use to help their children set themselves up for success.
If your mom uses these 11 phrases, you were raised by a very good woman
1. I'm proud of you
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There are few words more powerful to hear from your mother than "I’m proud of you." This phrase shows that she adores you. For some, growing up in a household that rarely said things like this can leave them constantly trying to prove themselves. Having a mother who told you how proud she was of you made you confident. You knew that your hard work mattered to your parents. Whether it was acing a test in school or landing that dream promotion, she was always there to give you praise.
According to Lee Bare, PhD., for Psychology Today, a mother's praise is powerful, especially for teenagers. It allows them to hear positivity at home. They will, in turn, focus on positive aspects of their lives as they age. It provides them with a foundation that fosters their self-esteem over time.
2. 'You've got this'
Going along with praise is encouragement. A good woman entered motherhood ready to support her children. They knew that life is filled with obstacles. Sometimes, you may not feel up for the challenge. Instead of allowing her children to focus on the negative aspects of life, she encouraged them to do anything they put their minds to. She had faith in their abilities, and their children grew up to feel the same way.
"You’ve got this" is a powerful phrase. It shows that someone sees your full potential and knows you can reach it. I don’t know about you, but I have had moments where I doubted myself and turned to my parents for support. When my mom told me that she had faith in me and that I could achieve any goal I set for myself, it gave me the confidence to tackle things head-on. It gave me confidence to know that I had her support, and she believed in me.
3. ‘Let’s talk it out’
No matter how strong a bond we share with our mothers, conflicts are guaranteed. We can’t always agree on everything. When something comes up that you do not see eye-to-eye on, a good woman would want to talk about it. Instead of punishing you, she will encourage you to talk it out with her. This creates a foundation for powerful problem-solving skills, child development psychologists have found.
Punishment can push children away. Of course, there are instances where using this phrase does not work out. Some choices need more than just a talking to. However, in cases where parents had open conversations and prioritized problem-solving, children blossomed. A good woman and mother wants to help her children the best she can. She will use phrases like "Let’s talk it out" to show that she is there and wants to work through any issues you may be having.
4. ‘I’m sorry’
This is a phrase we expect everyone to say at some point. For some parents, admitting they were wrong is a complicated feat. It could be that they don’t want to come to terms with a mistake they made, or the rude things they said to their children in the heat of the moment. Holding parental power over someone allows them to escape without apologizing. However, when a good woman becomes a mother, she knows the importance of saying that she is sorry.
“Adults will give all kinds of excuses for why they don’t apologize, but few will articulate what I believe is the operative dynamic. Apologizing, in theory, is an act of submission,” says Janet Sasson Edgette, Psy.D. A good woman and mother doesn’t think this way. She sees the importance of apologizing and does it often. It shows that she is understanding and open with her child. She knows she isn’t perfect, which makes a major impact in parenting.
5. ‘Making mistakes is part of life’
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No matter how positive our relationship is with our mother, there have likely been times when we’ve been afraid to approach her with something we did wrong. I know I have been there. Even when they are the most supportive parent you could ask for, you still can be fearful of letting them down. When a very good woman becomes a mother, she works hard to be there for her children at all costs. When they make a mistake, no matter how big or small, they support them instead of lashing out. She will remind you that making mistakes is part of life.
A good mother will tell you when you make a mistake. She isn’t going to pretend you are perfect. However, she will never look down on you for the choices you make. She will comfort you when things go wrong. She reassures you that you are on the right path and everyone messes up from time to time. This phrase is important because it lets their children know they do not expect them to be flawless, as that is unattainable.
6. ‘We will figure this out together’
When a mother accepts that her children will make mistakes, she provides them with the support they need to move forward. Support should empower children to move forward and grow from their mistakes. A very good woman knows that she can provide that support and allow her children to flourish. She’ll tell you that she’s there to help you figure it out. It allows children to trust and confide in their parents, which will stick with them into adulthood.
“Life will throw all kinds of challenges at kids,” says David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “And the goal of support is to build up resilience and develop coping strategies.” Working to help their children solve their problems allows them to become more resilient as they get older. This phrase is a sign of a truly good mother.
7. ‘I’m listening’
Having an open conversation with a parent can be beneficial to children. While we may hope to be perfect parents, that just isn’t realistic. Things happen, and even the best mothers make mistakes or say things that hurt their children’s feelings. When a good woman takes on the role of Mom, she makes herself available to her children. Fostering a space where they can come to her and tell her something that she did that hurt them is special. As I mentioned, many parents have a hard time apologizing. A mother who will listen to her children’s concerns is a dime a dozen. If you have a mom like this, consider yourself lucky.
These mothers are not afraid to have tough conversations about themselves and their parenting flaws. They will always listen to what their kids have to say. Let’s say she raised her voice at them, and it hurt their feelings. She isn’t afraid to say, ‘I’m listening,’ and hear them out. She wants them to feel comfortable sharing their feelings with her.
8. ‘You can talk to me about anything’
Some parents may tell their children that they are always listening to them, but do not actually show up in times of need. Mothers who tell their children that they can talk to them about anything show how supportive they are. They want their kids to know that this is a judgment-free zone. Even the most embarrassing topics are safe to bring up. She wants to hear about everything going on in your life and provide you with advice when you need it. A parent who provides comfort to their children during times of pain is the best kind.
This type of mother is a very good woman because she wants her children to feel safe enough to confide in her. One way they make that happen is by providing a safe space for conversations. “You can also create a safe space by sharing a personal, related story from your own experience. Letting your child know something similar has happened to you may help you connect, and they may feel more comfortable opening up,” says Strong4Life Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta.
A good woman has made herself available to her children and provided them with a safe space that allows them to share even the toughest of issues with them.
9. ‘I love you’
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Many of us feel deep down that our parents love us. However, some parents struggle with saying the words out loud. Showing love is a vulnerable experience. While most parents love sharing how much they care about their children, it can be difficult for others. “As far back as I can remember, my parents never told me they loved me. I always thought that life would have been easier for me if, from a young age, I had been told that I was loved by the most important people, like a song you’ve heard so many times that you know it by heart and make it your own. I think this little melody would make it easier to love myself,” says Misphonie for The Doe.
Good women know that saying they love their children makes the biggest impact in their lives. Saying ‘I love you’ is one of the easiest ways to boost your child’s morale. The best women and mothers know that telling their children they love them is one of the most powerful things they can say daily.
10. ‘You can always try again’
A very good woman fosters ambition in her children. She wants them to take a chance on the things they want. Whether it’s applying to a competitive college or putting themselves out there on dates to find the one, they want them to get out of their comfort zone. Let’s face it, that’s a scary thing to do. I especially struggle to make myself uncomfortable. A great mom pushes her children to break out of their routine and do something that scares them.
She reassures them that everything will be okay by reminding them that they can always try again. This phrase takes the pressure off any situation. She’s not demanding you find success immediately. Instead, she understands that it might take some time. If you don’t get into your dream program at one university, she will tell you to try again at another school. She never wants you to give up on your dreams and is there to support you along the way.
11. 'You are perfect as you are'
There is so much pressure to be perfect in our society. From adhering to beauty standards to finding success in a career, it can be hard to navigate life. When a very good woman steps into the role of motherhood, she knows how daunting the pressure can be. She wants to take the stress off her children’s shoulders by reminding them that she thinks they are perfect just as they are.
It can be hard for people to remain true to themselves. They want to fit in and will do whatever it takes to do so. A good mother always encourages her children to stay true to themselves. She loves them the way they are and knows others will, too. She lets them know that while perfection may be out of reach, they are as close to perfect as it gets by staying true to themselves.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
