If You See These 11 Things In A Mom's Car, She's Mentally Checked Out Of Her Life
A glimpse into a mother's car will tell you all you need to know about her mental state.
eyes on him / Shutterstock There's absolutely nothing easy about motherhood. While it can be extremely rewarding, when exhaustion hits, it can feel all-consuming. The demands of motherhood can be overwhelming, making it hard to keep your life organized when you're not feeling on track. There are so many things a mom has to keep under control that the interior of her car is one of the first places you'll see signs when she's losing her grip on all of it.
In fact, when you see specific things in a mom's car, there's a good chance she's mentally checked out of her life due to the stress of the demands she is juggling. Empty coffee cups, crumbled up receipts, and the occasional child's shoe haphazardly thrown into a corner of the backseat are all signs pointing to a mom who is so spent that she can't keep up with everything all at once.
If you see these 11 things in a mom's car, she's mentally checked out of her life
1. A gas tank that's nearly empty
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A mom can be running on low fumes both figuratively and literally, especially when it comes to her car. If her gas tank is hovering dangerously close to "E," it's not that she keeps forgetting to stop for gas, but that she simply doesn't have time to. In fact, according to a poll, when it comes to dropping kids off at school, mothers are especially likely to say school transportation needs have interfered with their jobs and opportunities. Between shuttling the kids where they need to go and taking herself to and from work, going to the gas station becomes less and less likely.
She'll continuously tell herself that she'll go tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, and before she knows it, every single commute with the little bit of fuel she has left ends up turning into a gamble. The act of stopping for gas may seem simple, but for an exhausted mom, it ends up turning into an entire production. She first has to find time out of her hectic schedule to pull into one, and then nine times out of ten, there might be kids in her backseat. She's most likely already running late to her destination anyway, so the almost empty gas tank ends up becoming a rather ironic metaphor of how her life has been going recently.
2. School flyers she's never read
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Colorful school flyers scattered across a tired mom's car might mean that she's mentally checked out. They're either crumpled in piles across the backseat or sliding around in the pockets of the car doors. She might've meant to read over them carefully, but now they've just become another piece of the clutter that permeates her car. It's not as if she doesn't care about the school events that are happening with her kids. In fact, it's quite the opposite.
Research has shown that an estimated 80% of parents reported attending school events and 60% reported volunteering in the classroom. When it comes to showing up for any activity or event, she'll be there, but her mental load is overwhelming at the moment, making it hard for her to absorb all the reminders and deadlines. So, the flyers end up sitting in her car, partially unread, and it isn't like she doesn't know that there's a ticking clock on how soon she needs to wrangle them all together and start reading.
3. Empty coffee cups
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The half-empty and sometimes empty coffee cups littered around a mom's car have more to do with her survival instincts than anything else. With all of the responsibilities and demands that are expected of her, a cup of steaming hot coffee multiple times a day means she's able to get things done. For a mom who's mentally checked out, these cups end up piling up fast. She might make a cup of coffee from home in the morning, but then forget about it halfway through her day. Before long, she's pulling into the drive-thru and ordering another one.
Soon enough, she realizes her entire car is crawling with random coffee cups that she simply doesn't have the time or energy to clean up. Considering moms who juggle both their professional and personal responsibilities daily are 81% more likely to experience burnout than those who don’t, they need all the coffee they can get. A mom's car filled with coffee cups is less about her being messy and disorganized and more about her trying to get through the day the most effortless way she knows how, with tons and tons of caffeine.
4. Old grocery lists
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A mom who's mentally checked out doesn't have the bandwidth to remember the various grocery items she's scribbled on crumpled-up napkins, the backs of old receipts, and on random pieces of paper that were left behind by her kids. Rather than tossing them out once the shopping is done, she ends up putting them in her cup holders, in the glovebox, and just kind of scattered around her car. Considering moms are the ones who do most of the grocery shopping, with an estimated 80% of mothers saying they are the primary household member who usually prepares the meals and grocery shops, according to a survey from the Pew Research Center, these endless lists in her car are not surprising.
It's a direct representation of how she's constantly keeping the house running and everyone inside taken care of, but she herself can't seem to catch up. Then of course, there are the actual items on this list. With how frazzled she is, most of the groceries don't end up getting checked off because she's forgotten to get them in the first place. She then has to write another grocery list for another trip, and the cycle seemingly continues with one forgotten list after another.
5. A mysterious odor she can't get rid of
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An overwhelmed and stressed mom simply doesn't have time to deal with the unexplained odor that exists in her car. She's tried to hang air fresheners up and even will occasionally spray some Febreze or Lysol, but somehow the odor lingers, and amongst everything else she's juggling, it ends up being something she is just forced to stop worrying about. She's simply reckoned with the fact that she'll have to drive around with the mysterious smell, mostly because she doesn't have the energy to do something about it.
It's a sign that she's simply running on autopilot, focused on getting all of the things she needs to get done, done. If it's something she can't control, she's learned to simply move on. It's truly best not to point out the smell either because a mentally checked-out mom is doing the best she can under the circumstances, and between her kids eating in the backseat and all of the traces left behind from her various errands, the smell is synonymous with all of the constant motion she has going on.
In an interview with TODAY Parenting, parenting expert Jill Smokler explained that emergency preparation is one of the benefits she sees of having a messy mom car, stating, "I find my car liberating. I don't need to look for a trash can or plastic bag; the floor works just fine. What, kids? You're hungry? There's basically a buffet between the floor and the seats. Bon Appetit!"
6. Takeout sauce packets
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After numerous trips to fast food restaurants to feed her kids before their next activity, a mentally checked-out mom isn't really worried about making sure she takes them all out of her car. It might seem random to see a Taco Bell packet in the side of her car doors or some Chick-fil-A sauces in the cup holder, but really, they are just a reminder that her life is always moving and she simply doesn't have time to tidy up.
Even in the midst of being exhausted herself, she makes sure that her kids are happy, even if it means getting them a quick meal they can eat on the go. She doesn't have any semblance of energy to try to organize them or even bring them into her house, where they can add to the clutter there, so she simply lets them multiply in her car as she works up the nerve to finally go through them.
7. Sticky spots nobody wants to touch
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These sticky spots seem to always be in the backseat and passenger seat, and mostly come from her kids. Whether they spilled juice on the seat or were eating chocolate and rubbed their hands on the back of the seats, a sticky patch inevitably forms. Even if a mentally checked-out mom is making time to wipe down the seats and sides of the inside of the car, the random sticky spots seem to come back instantly.
After a while, she gives up entirely on trying to get rid of them, and they become a staple of her car. She's too busy wrangling her kids together and running the endless amount of errands that she needs to get done to spend any extra time on her hands and knees scrubbing the inside of the cup holders. They're minor to her compared to all of the other responsibilities she has to do, and the longer she ignores the sticky spots, the easier it is for her to manage them.
8. Broken phone chargers
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Since she's always on the go, she needs to keep her phone charged, so she'll keep a charger in the car. But from all of the activities that she has to run in her car, eventually the battery runs out. It's usually the one she's constantly having to bend this way and that, or even has to hold it in a weird angle just so her phone can charge for a few minutes.
It's not reliable due to the amount of time she spends using it, but it feels easier to have it than to go out and buy a new one. The broken charger ends up becoming another metaphor of how much she's juggling at one time. She just doesn't have the time or bandwidth to fix it properly, and it ends up feeling like another luxury she can't afford. She simply plugs her phone into it and crosses her fingers that her phone doesn't die as she's on the way to the next errand.
9. Stray crayons
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To keep her kids from adding to her emotional and mental load, she'll make sure to have some activities that capture their attention. However, it means she'll have to deal with the random, stray crayons that end up on the floor, rolling around while she drives. It's just another reminder of the mess that she doesn't feel capable of handling. They might be the one thing that calms her kids down for long drives and waiting in long lines, but the crayons never seem to make it back into their case.
Her backseat ends up becoming this colorful, chaotic mess, and not only does she just have all of these crayons around, but there's also a probability that her kids ended up drawing on the seats and walls of the car as well. So, not only is she dealing with finding a random crayon on the seats, but she's also trying to rub out the drawings her kids have done on the leather upholstery.
10. Expired coupons
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Approximately 60% of parents tend to look for coupons compared to 38% of other shoppers. If they can save a bit of money on the items they need for the house, they will. However, when a mom is mentally checked out, sometimes she doesn't even get to the coupons before they expire. She'll stuff them in the glovebox or wedge them into the center console with a reminder to herself to use them before they aren't good anymore, but with all of the other things she's balancing, sometimes she never gets around to it.
In between everything else that's on her plate, the coupons end up taking a backseat, quite literally. Something more pressing always gets in the way, and she never actually gets the chance to get that discount on strawberries that she's been meaning to buy.
10. Stickers stuck to the windows
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Just as her kids leave their crayons out and about or add to the mysterious sticky spots in her car, they tend to act the same way with their stickers. Her kids will bring them into the car after leaving a classmate's birthday party or their teacher gave them a bunch for getting a good grade on their most recent project. To entertain themselves in the backseat, they'll put them on the windows, and because their mom is as mentally checked out as she is, she simply chooses to ignore them.
Removing the stickers would be an entire production, requiring her to carve out time from her busy schedule to make a concoction that will help get them off the windows. As long as they aren't obstructing her view to drive, it ends up becoming another thing on her endless list of messes that need to be cleaned in her car.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
