Don't Know Yourself? Then You'll Never REALLY Know Him

Photo: iStock
Why You Need To Get To Know Yourself

Not happy with yourself? Guess what, no one else is going to make you happy either.

I want to share something important with you that I have learned from my clients.

The vast majority of their relationship troubles can be traced back to a lack of self-awareness on the part of one or both of the partners. In this article you’re going to discover how knowing what “makes you tick” can strengthen your relationships and make you a better partner. 

What matters to you? Do you understand your needs and what is important to you?

Did you know that it is your job to fulfill your own needs?

Who else would be responsible for bringing you joy? Sometimes in a relationship you may think it’s the “other person’s” job to fulfill your needs, right?

Well, not so much. Yes, there is absolutely give and take in a healthy relationship.

But bottom line: it’s your job to meet your needs and learn how to be happy with yourself. You have the power to create and experience whatever you want.

If you have a desire, you create the ideas and action steps to implement it.

You get to devise what you want, and you DON'T need someone else’s permission for that. Every now and then in a relationship, one of the partners thinks that he/she needs to receive permission from his/her partner to do something.

That isn’t necessarily the case depending on what the action is (and who it is going to impact). If it is going to impact the partner in some contrary way, then yes, communicate in advance.

However, let’s just say you have this desire to climb a mountain (I live in Colorado — people like to do that here!). Your partner isn’t interested.

Of course you want to communicate your interest and learn about the action steps required to train for such an experience, but you don’t need anyone’s permission besides your own. This is you standing in power AND meeting your needs.

It builds your self-esteem and self-confidence. It stretches who you are in this moment. When you grow, you learn more about yourself and what you can handle  mental obstacles, new perspectives, etc.

This is how you learn about yourself and what makes you tick. It’s really about your individual growth, evolution and self-awareness.

Individual growth helps you become more aware of the facets of who you are in this life. Is there some area of your life that needs to be shined up a bit? Have you been ignoring a gnawing fear that's causing you worry and self-doubt?

Are you ready to face it?

Fear is just fear — it does not make anything a fact. It's an emotion, and you have the capacity to change it. For example, if you’re holding on to a past judgment and you’re thinking, If I choose this, then the same bad thing could happen again.

This creates self-doubt, which some part of you will interpret as another bad decision. If you have that little voice running in your head, just politely say, No that’s not the truthBE QUIET.

This is a new opportunity to make a new choice. You can certainly learn from the past experience which is best and seek help if needed to go forward to help with a new perspective.

However, there is no need to believe that you are going to recreate the same scenario. Choose to grow, evolve and trust yourself. You are an intelligent person.

Hop off the merry-go-round and pick a new direction.

Make a new decision that feels grounded and feels good. Here is a tip: Make choices that feel good. Remember you’re learning about you and what makes you tick!

Regina Sisco is a thriving Life & Relationship Coach who works with singles over 40 to help them experience real love again. To discover why you aren’t as successful with dating as you’d like and how to embrace your inner confidence todayclick on this link for my complimentary gift for youFive Secrets To Successful Dating Guide.