3 Reasons Why We Push True Love Away (Plus: What To Do Instead)

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Why We Push True Love Away

Most of us have habits that work against us, but if we see through them, they can be great teachers.

Our culture has shown us how beautiful love is but has not given us many tools how to handle it. Love will find its way in, but needs to grow through wisdom. Much of the wisdom we can gain will come when we choose to handle difficult times with optimism.

The greater the pain we experience, the more difficult this can be. We experience our deepest pains when we are challenged by true love. Given the overall emotional intelligence of our culture, our conditioning is less likely to lead us to handle this pain with grace.

However, you can learn how to love when you are scared with the proper tools that will lead by example and create a shift in the world of true love. 

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There are 3 big reasons why you push true love away:

  • We seek it to fill our void. Therefore, it becomes a search. True love will find you when you are ready, therefore there is no point in searching for it.
  • We let ourselves project our baggage onto our relationships as an unconscious cry for help. We should take on these opportunities to take responsibility for them so we can grow from them.
  • We let ourselves become attached to the feelings. True love is meant to be unconditional. Therefore, making it conditional is an invitation for things to go wrong.

If there is a cure for all this, it would be self-love. But there is a way we can achieve it without thinking about it. It is simply to remember the tools we can apply in our daily lives to allow it to grow.

The tools we can use are derived from a simple formula; we create our realities through our unconscious projections. Therefore, we can change our reality by healing ourselves with the bigger picture in mind. Then our reality can become a healing journey with experiences that only remind us of where we need to grow.

When it comes to true love, we take this further in growing our capacity to handle emotions, both painful and loving. Learning about our subconscious minds with proper guidance is the key to finding self-love:

1. Heal your void.

If you believe in the law of attraction, you understand that you manifest things when it is the right time for you to deserve them. If you are seeking true love to fill your void and find it, it will make you obsessed with your partner and this imbalance will block the growth.

Having a void to fill is not necessarily a bad thing, it just means the journey of self-exploration has not really begun. It is very easy to overlook given that we are in a society that works so hard at keeping us distracted for its economic gains. Therefore, an inward journey will require that extra effort to stay focused.

Within this society of distractions, it is now so easy to shop online for a partner, which keeps us looking on the outside. It is possible to meet your true love online, but less likely from the perspective of shopping.

A great mindset to have is to believe that you will attract true love from healing your void. This means self-reflecting when experiences come up that show you this empty feeling.

As you begin this inward journey, you will see how powerful it is and you will attract experiences to aid this journey. This will lead you to trust your intuition to meet the right person, versus looking for them. This journey may very well be stumbling on potential partners, but whom only give you lessons towards finding true love.

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2. Take responsibility for your baggage.

We unconsciously project our baggage onto our relationships. This may sound like a bad thing, but it’s completely normal. We have pain that we want to heal but sometimes we don’t know how so unconsciously seek comforting. However, we can become aware of it so that we grow from it. The more we do, the less it happens and the less messy it is.

Again because we are so conditioned to be looking at life on the surface, it is not so obvious that we are projecting what is unresolved in our subconscious. Therefore the first step is to forgive ourselves for doing so, that way it is so much easier to work with it.

Healing our wounds is part of the journey, the more we do, the more true love can grow. But we have to take responsibility for them in a way that allows compassion to follow from both ourselves and our partner.

Baggage is a set of issues that come from a specific source, most often during childhood and they grow like tree branches until we heal them. They are only sets of specific restricting beliefs and painful emotions that are stuck in the subconscious.

Working through them allows us to learn a great deal about ourselves as well as the wisdom that fulfills true love’s journey. It is important to build this perspective so that when our issues challenge us and we are tempted to project them, we can control the damage. Then we can make something great out of it instead.

An 80/20 percent rule is something useful to keep in mind, meaning that the pain we may feel from our relationship issues is 80 percent our stuff.

3. Be open to facing your fears.

When we get attached to the feeling of loving our partner, we could get addicted to the feelings. Therefore we want to make sure it is sustained. It also means the ego takes over out of fear of losing something.

This is probably the hardest part to master. It cannot happen without mastering the previous two reasons. Because it means going deeper into the spiritual aspect of love. This is something we build an understanding of as we go through our inner journey. It requires understanding how love is meant to flow.

Love is meant to be unconditional in the sense that you trust it will flow best when you love yourself first. Let your partner be a reflection of that.

The desire for attachment will be inevitable and when it happens, it is because you are holding onto some fears. Let yourself be open to seeing what they are. You may be even challenged to face these fears, when they become intense, it is important to look for projections.

As you resolve them, you will see your ego dissolve and feel your heart opening to new levels. You will see how love flows much stronger through an open heart versus the ego. The more you do this, the more self-love will grow. You will feel yourself become stronger in deepening your relationship with love which will reinforce everything.

Knowing that self-love is the key is only the beginning. It is a process, therefore it should not become a task of something you need to accomplish. Rather allow your experiences to show you the way.

Keep in mind the bigger perspective of the purpose behind true love finding you. It is to lead you on a journey of healing and self-exploration. Minimize your distractions and you will see how everything will happen for a reason to bring you towards that goal.

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Matthew Butcher uses a highly efficient healing technique that specializes in working with subconscious blocks. Please visit his website for more information.