Your spouse has come clean on an affair. Should you stay or should you go?
"Everybody in my family tells me to divorce her. My mom will be furious if I don't. She called Shelly some pretty bad names. Called the guy she was involved with worse names. She insists that I file immediately."
"Why haven't you?" I asked.
"I don't know. I'm hurt. Deeply. But we had fourteen years together. My kids don't say anything, but I can see how worried they are. They don't know the details, of course, but they know things are bad between Shelly and me. If I divorce her, do I tell 'em what their mother did? And do I lose my kids if I divorce? Mom says that a good lawyer can take the kids away from her because of what she did, but I don't know … "
"Yeah, you have a lot to consider. What do you really want? If you could just snap your fingers and get it, what would you wish?"
"I'd wish she never met Jarrod. That she hadn't gotten involved with him."
"Uh-huh. But since you can't change the past, how would you change the future? Again, what it is that you truly want?"
I could put a name to the man in the conversation above. Actually, hundreds of them. If you prefer, I could change the pronouns and provide hundreds of women's names instead.
More infidelity advice from YourTango:
- So, He Cheated. Can You Really Trust Him Again?
- How To Recover From Infidelity
- Believe It Or Not, It's TOTALLY Possible To Move On From An Affair