Photo: Khorzhevska / Shutterstock
He'll be yours in no time.
By Christian Anderson — Last updated on Nov 16, 2022
Men are visual creatures, plain and simple. Nature made us that way. It's how we operate. Beyond our rational and creative mind, we are simple mammals that are wired to continue the human race. In essence, we are procreating machines.
Scientists calculate that over 99.9% of all species that ever lived have become extinct. But not us humans.
Why? Because our genetic wiring continues to evolve to always be masterful at mating and reproduction.
A big piece of that mastery starts with the man's complete infatuation with the woman, which, biochemically speaking, is sparked solely from the visual.
Of course, you are more than just looks, but you can still capitalize on a 20-million-year-old process that's embedded in our DNA and learn how to attract a man into your territory.
So, for women curious about how to get a guy to like you, here are 12 simple ways you can beef up your mating game and attract a few more men into your life.
How to attract a man
1. Smile often.
How do you get a guy to notice you? Smiling is by far the easiest and simplest way to invite a man to come into your kingdom.
Men are more intimidated than ever to approach women in the 21st century. Why? You all can do just as much as we can now, so we are lacking the confidence that our forefathers had when roles were more clearly defined. A warm smile can ignite a man's courage to walk up to you.
Respected relationship expert Dr. Pat Allen suggests using red lipstick, since our 4-legged primate ancestors once attracted their male counterparts with their swollen vulvas. Now that we are on 2 legs, parts are, well... quite hidden, so evolution has passed the mating magnet to another pair of exposed lips.
2. Make eye contact... and then look away.
A little eye tennis goes a long way. When you are sitting at that Starbucks, combine your smashing smile with 3-5 second eye contact.
Two seconds is, "Did she just look at me?" Three seconds is, "I think she just checked me out, but maybe the guy behind me." Four to five seconds is, "Oh, it's on. She just checked me out. I got to talk to her!"
The combination of smiling and maintaining eye contact subconsciously tells a man that you are approving of him as a potential mate.
Dr. Pat Allen continues to note that humans have more white in their eyes than any other species, mainly since we use our eyes more for communication. In any event, play up that optic communicator, and pick an eyeliner that accentuates your lovely gaze.
3. Play with your hair.
There you are at the bar, in class, or at the grocery store. He's 10 feet from you watching the game, studying Chaucer, or picking up canned tuna. After you give the 3-5 second glance over to him, coupled with your adorable smile, you then go back to your previous activity.
As you hold your grocery basket in one hand, slowly slide your other hand through your hair, give it a couple of tussles, and then let it slowly drizzle from the nape of your neck down to the collar bone.
The sexiness and playfulness of playing with your hair, combined with the tenderness of your neck, will kick in a few mating chemicals inside of him that will ignite his hunt mode.
4. Raise your shoulder and arch your back.
This one will sound a little ridiculous, but you might want to let nature use its own sexual elixir to give you an assist while you are out and about.
Arching your back reflects lordosis behavior (basically sticking your butt out), which almost every female mammal exhibits during estrus. Estrus is the sign that all our male mammalian cousins are waiting for: the female has approved of their mating dance and is sexually receptive (i.e., in heat).
So think of all that DNA history pumping through the guy in aisle 3 when he sees you "stretch out" before you reach for the Rice Krispies.
5. Invite him into your personal space.
How do you make a guy interested in you? Well, you can hit all the fine points, but if you don't pull away from the pack, then he might not ever go in for the approach due to the wall of your protective clan.
Obviously, if you are alone you need not worry about this one, but if you and the girls or guy friends are out and you see a young buck checking you out, it might be time to take a stroll, which will invite him into your own personal space and increase your chances of getting his interest.
This all has to do with physical behavior and doesn't speak to allowing your brains, humor, charm, and accomplishments to aid in attraction. There will plenty of time for all of that.
For now, allow your genes and natural history to be the best wingman in the business. We definitely don't need to be slaves to our primate history, but it sure doesn't hurt to be aware of it and use it gain influence with the opposite sex.
6. Show off your style.
Another way to attract a man is through the way you dress. Dressing according to your own unique style is a simple and fun way to showcase both your looks and personality traits. Furthermore, wear clothes that make you feel good and confident to be more mentally ready to find love.
Expressing yourself through your clothing can also help you stand out from the crowd and catch the eye of potential romantic partners. You are a unique and interesting person, and if he’s a good match, he will be drawn in by what makes you special.
Studies have even shown that people feel more attractive in the color red, so put on your favorite crimson top and start turning heads.
7. Show off your personality.
Romantic attraction is about more than just physical characteristics, and it is well-known that personality impacts the perception of beauty. How do you get a guy to catch feelings? The answer, show him who you really are inside.
A 2007 report by David M. Buss of the University of Texas showed that both men and women across the world valued intelligence and kindness in prospective long-term mates. Intelligence is indicative of problem-solving and parenting skills, and kindness is both a social asset and a source of solace for close companions.
Beyond just being kind to him, show him your sense of humor to make him smile.
Men are also inclined to catch feelings for women who are outgoing. In a 2015 study, extraversion was reported as the most important characteristic men look for in a long-term female partner.
Confidence and positivity are sexy, so don’t be afraid to show off in social situations. Even honesty tends to be viewed as an extremely attractive trait.
8. Communicate clearly.
One survey indicated that inadequate communication was a leading cause of breakups, and understanding one another is vital to a healthy relationship.
If you want to attract men, give him meaningful compliments, and call him by his name to make him feel special and validated. If you are upset with him, explain why and what you are feeling, and encourage him to do the same.
In the modern age, internet communication is also an important component of relationships. In a 2014 study, 21% of cell-phone users said that text conversations had helped them form a closer bond with their partners.
This can be especially important in long-distance relationships, but is also beneficial in the short term. Text him occasionally while he’s at work to remind him of you, and keep the conversation going when you are apart.
9. Offer emotional support.
When communicating, make sure you are really listening and paying attention to what he’s saying, as he most likely wants someone who can be there for him and help him deal with his troubles.
Per Buss’s findings, the majority of people seek partners who are understanding and dependable. So, encourage and support him to pursue his dreams, whether they are broad career goals or just a simple personal project.
If he’s feeling down, physical actions, such as giving him a hug or holding his hand, can help bring up his mood. Be his ally, and let him know you are there to support him.
This effort should include discerning when to give him space. Read his signals, because and let him have some alone time when he needs it.
10. Connect over common interests.
Buss’s report showed that both genders seek long-term unions with people who have similar values and interests to their own, and that these connections help to fuel lasting happiness.
Talk to him about what he loves, and share your hobbies and interests. Finding common ground between the two of you, whether it’s your shared passion for history or sheepish penchant for reality TV, can provide opportunities to bond.
Furthermore, you can use such crossovers to find activities for the two of you to enjoy. If you both love winter sports, go on a ski trip. Or, take a class together on something you both want to learn about.
Next to sharing household chores, a Pew research study found that 64% of respondents emphasized the importance of shared interests in their marital relationships. And the same can probably be said for when you are just getting to know someone.
11. Show him that you desire him.
Researchers found in their study, published in 2021, that 95% of heterosexual men felt that being desired by their partner was very important to them for their intimate experiences and 88% indicated their partners could be doing more to show them they are desired.
If you want to cultivate a healthy and mutually beneficial sex life, don’t be afraid to initiate intimacy. When you are first trying to attract him and connect with him, you want to be clear about your attraction to him.
And once you have gotten to the point of beginning a sexual relationship, small things like wearing lingerie or sending a raunchy text can make him feel sexy and desired, and increase his satisfaction.
12. Be affectionate.
Non-sexual physical affection is a vital part of getting and keeping his attention. The same Kinsey Institute study showed that frequent snuggles, kisses, and caresses directly correlated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction for men.
Cuddling also has proven benefits to emotional and physical health. So, make sure to show affection in physical ways, and not to underestimate the power of innocent and tender expressions of love and adoration.
More for You:
Christian Anderson is a dating and relationship coach based in Santa Monica, California.