The Art Of Being Unbothered: 4 Ways To Be Happy With Who You Are Right Now
Manuel Figueroa | Unsplash We all have something we are insecure about. Maybe you don't like how you look in a bikini, or you think your laugh is dorky, but that's normal. What's not ideal is allowing those insecurities to negatively affect and ultimately ruin your relationships.
Merely having insecurities does not automatically make us toxic or even unhealthy! No, the issue arises when we let those insecurities overpower our better, sunnier sides that are just happy to see someone else’s success.
Insecurities are negative emotions that threaten to destroy us, others, and our personal relationships that are supposed to be watered by mutual goodwill. Feelings of insecurity can make us say and do things that are truly deplorable and destructive. Insecurity, if you let it, can shroud your thousand good qualities from your own eyes and make you feel less special than everyone else on this planet. As a result, it can create a lot of resentment over time.
You can live a happy life if you allow yourself to accept your insecurities and work toward neutralizing them so they don't affect the relationships you cherish. Instead, take responsibility for how your insecurities affect you and those around you and work on changing that. There are, in fact, many steps we can take to handle our insecurities in ways that can create meaningful shifts in our lives.
The art of being unbothered: 4 ways to be happy with who you are:
1. Accept that you have insecurities
Acceptance itself can bring many changes in your behavior. Accepting your insecurities makes you more alert when you are getting triggered, which will, in turn, reduce any unwanted and awkward incidents. Acceptance also forces you to hold yourself accountable for your own behavior and actions.
One simple way to start accepting your insecurities and stop obsessing over getting rid of them is to practice mindfulness. Yes, it seems trite, but it's commonly recommended for a reason: it works! Mindfulness practices have been shown in research to help reduce anxiety and depression and increase self-esteem!
2. Take a step back and analyze why you have insecurities
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Journaling can be especially helpful as it can reveal our thought processes. When we have the time and energy, we can come back to it and see where we are getting things wrong and where our strengths lie. Often, you will find that the area that makes you insecure can be developed in your life.
Your negative emotions might subconsciously be a cry for help that, if you listen to and work with, might end up enriching your life. You may even find you are unfairly judging yourself, causing your own insecurities. If you've been minimizing your achievements and good qualities and magnifying someone else's, work toward seeing yourself in a more positive, more accurate manner.
3. Look toward the supportive people in your life
Your biggest supporters can be anyone who sees all your strengths — your mom, best friend, coworker, or significant other. They can remind you of your good qualities and accomplishments when you are feeling down or giving in to your insecurities. Research has shown that conversation — not just dumping your feelings, but talking back-and-forth in a deeply engaged manner — are essential to our well-being.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and share your feelings. They might actually be surprised to find you think so little of yourself! Your friends and family have a better understanding of who you are as a person and what makes you so special. They see the best parts of you that you may overlook and can really help you work through difficult emotions and rebuild your self-esteem.
4. Send positive thoughts towards the person who makes you insecure
This is a tough one, but it can be liberating! I have personally tried it and, trust me, it works. There is something pure about wanting the best for someone else that actually ends up helping us as well.
From personal experience, I immediately feel better about any situation after doing so. Something clicks in my mind, and I realize how foolish it is to even compare myself with someone else. We each have our path to follow. Mysteriously enough, good things started happening in my life when I started paying it forward with positivity. I guess it’s the magic of having positive thoughts!
Mehruba Chowdhury is a writer, former Editorial Intern, and contributor to YourTango. She writes about relationships, pop culture, and astrology, and has been featured in The Onyx Review, BORGEN Magazine, Ravishly, Medium, PopSugar, and MSN.
