Everything I Know About Being A Good Feminist I Learned From 'Real Housewives'

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real housewives

... other than marrying rich.

I have a confession to make.

I am a feminist and I love the Real Housewives. 

Yup. End of sentence. 

There has not been a franchise of the show that I have not watched and have not loved: Yes, even Potomac. 

Even Dallas.

Even ... Miami, which even the most diehard fans will agree was basically pure nightmare fuel. 

I follow more Real Housewives on Instagram than I do co-workers. 

I seriously considered naming my cat Vicki Gunvalson. 

I kind of regret that I didn't, even though he is a boy. 

This isn't a guilty pleasure for me. It isn't something I'm embarrassed to share with people, I'm happy to expound on my love for it.

To an outsider, it might seem like a show about older women being catty, but it's actually so much more than that. 

The show is a forum for strong, powerful, independent women who aren't afraid to admit their failings, women who might be a little crazy, but very often it's that craziness that inspires them to take risks that pay off in major ways (except for Sonja's toaster oven). 

If I haven't convinced you (or least piqued your interest) they are awesome yet, please enjoy this list of the 5 things I learned from the Real Housewives

1. Embrace your anger. 

You know what they do really well on the Real Housewives? They get angry. They get mad. They fume. They rage. They yell.

And you know what usually happens when they're done doing that?

The problem has been addressed and they are ready to move on. 

The women on these shows fight about men, they fight about rumors, they fight about exposed vaginas (seriously), and while these fights might be protracted and silly, the fact that they actually get mad and confront each other enables them to actually move on.

I swear to god I only learned how to be angry from watching Kandi Burruss do it so well. 

2. Rise above gossip. 

My life isn't very scandalous. Am I dating a polyamorous man? Yes, but our life isn't all sex dungeons and boner pills. For the most part, we stay home and watch TV, if I'm honest.

But that doesn't mean I haven't been trash talked by my peers. Gossip is insidious and mean. That's why women tend to use it as a veritable verbal weapon to take down people who make them feel things they don't want to feel, like insecurity. 

On the Real Housewives, people can gossip all they want about everyone else, but a classy dame, she just shrugs that shit off and goes about her business. 

3. Put your friends first. 

Last season on the Real Housewives of New York (and it's looking like it'll happen this season too), Bethenny Frankel, Ramona Singer, and Sonja Morgan all did their best to try and, in the  nicest way possible, let Countess Luanne know that her fiancé, a grocery magnet (lol), was a cheating pig. 

Suffice to say it did not go well. The wedding is still on, probably none of them are invited. 

Does the show focus on Luanne's wedding? Nope. They focused on the massive rend in the in the friendship between these women. 

TV and movies are not exactly a great place to go when it comes to finding meaty roles for older women. The Real Housewives is an exception to those rules. They show that there is SO much more to being a woman than being a wife or a mother (even though I guess "wife" is technically in the title, WHATEVER). 

4. Money can't buy class.

I mean, come on, I had to.

5. Be an independent badass. 

In a world full of haters who are going to try to keep you from shining your light, be the one who stands up and demands an answer to this immortal question:

Who gon' check me, boo? 

These women value material things like shoes and bags and expensive meals, but they also value their brains and their business acumen. Show me a Real Housewife and I will show you a woman who is a HUSTLER. 

To be a Real Housewife is to be strong, resilient, confident, and yes, a little bit crazy.

As far as I'm concerned, that's every single woman I know.