Husband Asks What To Do About Wife’s New Obsession After She Returns From 30-Year High School Reunion ‘Practically In Tears’
She won't even hear his concerns, and he's worried.
Gladskikh Tatiana | Shutterstock A husband admitted that he's worried about his wife's perception of herself after she recently reconnected with some of her old high school classmates. Submitting his dilemma to Slate's "Dear Prudence" advice column, the anonymous man claimed that his wife was incredibly distraught after returning from a reunion with her high school class, and that since the reunion, she's become obsessed with drastically changing her own appearance.
A husband asked what to do about his wife's obsession with getting plastic surgery following her high school reunion.
"My wife recently attended her 30-year high school reunion and came home practically in tears. When I asked what was wrong, she said the first thing she noticed was how old she looked compared to nearly all of her female former classmates," his submission read.
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He explained that his wife has now become completely obsessed with getting plastic surgery so that she can seemingly match the appearance of women she attended high school with. Despite his assurances that she is beautiful and doesn't need anything done to her face or body, she's convinced otherwise.
The husband explained that the procedures she wants involve complex surgery.
Just because plastic surgery is done for cosmetic purposes, many people forget that it is still major surgery, and not something that should be taken lightly. Everything from injectables to liposuction holds risks, and once anesthesia comes into play, those risks become even more pronounced.
"Among the procedures she wants are a breast augmentation, a facelift, and blepharoplasty. Should I try to dissuade her from going through with this?" he questioned. The problem isn't that his wife wants to get plastic surgery, but that she wants to get plastic surgery because she feels insecure about her appearance and wants to keep up with a group of women that shouldn't matter.
Plastic surgery becomes a slippery slope when you're using it to deflect from simply having low self-worth and a lack of confidence. Getting filler, botox, and other surgeries won't make you feel better about yourself, despite how you may physically look. For most, the hole of despair only gets deeper because the problem isn't on the outside, but within.
A study from 2012 confirmed this. Researchers found that having plastic surgery does not boost a woman's self-esteem. In reviewing the data, Viren Swami, an expert on body image and a psychologist at the University of Westminster, London told Psychology Today, "Their findings seem quite clear: those who chose to have cosmetic surgery tended to have a history of poorer mental health to begin with, but having cosmetic surgery did not result in a positive outcome."
The husband was encouraged to 'go deeper' in exploring his wife's motives for getting cosmetic surgery.
"So, in addition to saying, 'But I’m attracted to you!' (hopefully she knows and believes that), try to go deeper. You might want to say, 'I’m a little worried about you,'" explained Slate's advice columnist, Prudence.
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He was encouraged to tell his wife his concerns. Some of those concerns could be the painful recovery time, how much of a toll it could take on her, medical complications, and what might happen if she didn't like the outcome of the surgeries. But at the end of the day, it is her decision, and if she wants to get the plastic surgery, she'll end up getting it anyway.
"Whatever happens, you can’t go wrong by continuing to tell her you think she’s beautiful (if she does get the surgery, just remember to add, 'And you always have been!')," Prudence added.
At the end of the day, this is the case for a lot of people, but especially for women because we're often battling outdated and impossible beauty standards left, right, and center. A lot of the insecurities that are present amongst women are bred from how others think we should look versus what we're actually comfortable looking like instead.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
