Man Wonders Whether Or Not To Propose With Engagement Ring Girlfriend’s Sisters Called 'Too Small'
It's usually the thought that counts, right?
Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock Many of us have thought about what we want our future proposal to look like (if we want one at all), but is it a total relationship dealbreaker if the fantasy and reality don't meet?
For many, a proposal is symbolic of the love and care you have for your partner, and your excitement for the future together. However, after receiving negative feedback from his girlfriend's family, one man turned to Reddit to ask if he should propose with a ring that may not be everything his girlfriend wants.
A man is wondering if he should propose after his girlfriend's sisters said the ring he bought was too small.
Posting to Reddit, a man asked for advice on whether he should propose to his long-term girlfriend after her sisters were disappointed with the ring he bought for her. He explained that after four years together, he and his girlfriend both expressed that they were ready for marriage. Here's the thing, though. He doesn't have a lot of money and can't afford an expensive ring. But he still wanted to get her something nice.
Reddit
The man said that he ended up buying a 2.12-carat lab-grown diamond ring that cost almost $2,800. When he showed it to her sisters to ask their advice, they said, "It wasn't what she wanted, and that it's specifically not big enough." They told him he had to get something closer to 3 carats, but that raised the price to almost $4,400, which was far out of his price range.
His parents encouraged him to propose with the ring he initially bought, and that "if she does love me, she'd be happy with whatever I got her and not listen to what her sisters [say]." However, he's torn because she's close with her sisters, and they know what she likes. He also said his girlfriend is very materialistic, and it would be a big deal to her if she didn't like the ring.
The real issue wasn't with the ring but with the state of their relationship.
Most commenters agreed with the young man's parents and said that, if the ring is a dealbreaker, then he shouldn't marry her. One user wrote, "If you give her this ring and she doesn't appreciate it at all, that's not the person you should want to marry."
Others shared their own proposal stories, saying that the size of the ring shouldn't matter. Another user even said, "I didn't even get an engagement ring because my husband was broke. I was still over the moon when he asked me to marry him. If your girlfriend isn't over the moon without a 3+ carat ring, then leave her. Otherwise, you'll be in for a miserable marriage."
Overall, commenters warned the man that he is likely to face both marital and financial problems in the future if the girlfriend is ungrateful for the engagement ring, given his situation.
An engagement ring budget is a very personal decision that should account for your unique financial situation.
The Knot conducted a Jewelry and Engagement study in 2024 that revealed "the average cost of an engagement ring nationwide is $5,200." The average price has been decreasing since 2021, as couples look to save more money.
Damir Atic Photography | Shutterstock
The study also found that 64% of respondents spent less than $6,000 on an engagement ring and 33% spent less than $3,000. On the other hand, 8% reported spending between $10,000 and $15,000 (so don't be afraid to wish for that dream ring).
Cassandra Rupp, a certified financial planner and senior wealth advisor at Vanguard, told Brides.com, "Deciding on a budget together can be a good idea, as spending habits can cause a lot of friction in many relationships. Buying an engagement ring is an exciting first step toward marriage, and it might be the first major short-term financial goal you encounter as a couple."
Ultimately, this young man's issue isn't so much about the ring but more so about what his intended might expect from him in the future. Research from 2018 found that men who spent less on engagement rings, specifically between $500 and $2000, were likely to have more successful marriages than men who spent much more.
Maybe that's the takeaway from all of this. He already has his answer. If the end goal of an engagement ring is a happily ever after, he could propose with a ring pop, and she'd be over the moon.
Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor's degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
