How To Get Over A Crush: 12 Ways (Even When It Feels Impossible)

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sad girl eating pizza with friends
Heartbreak

Having a crush sounds sweet and fun — until you realize crushes can only ever end in one of two ways: you'll either be one of the lucky few who falls for someone you happily find out feels the same way, or one of the sad souls whose feelings go unrequited, leaving you with a wounded ego and a broken heart.

How do you get over a crush on someone who isn't crushing on you?

Whether you have a crush on your friend, someone at work, that cutie you keep seeing at the grocery store but have never dated, or someone you are well aware you should not be crushing on because they're already taken, if your crush doesn't lead to the first scenario (which would preferably involve dramatic music and a passionate kiss), you'll eventually have to face facts, lick your wounds, and move on.

RELATED: 75 Heartbreaking Songs About Unrequited Love

Here are 12 tips on how to get over a crush as quickly and easily as possible.

Things to do with your friends to help you get over a crush

1. Talk it out.

When you know a crush isn't going anywhere, you may feel tempted to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself so you want have to be embarrassed by anyone knowing you have awkward, one-sided feelings for someone. But as is usually the case, telling a friend what's going on with you can be freeing.

Your friend might be able to help point out how a relationship with your crush wouldn't work anyway, which can help you see the bright side of things. And when a friend knows about your crush, they can also be there to support you and make sure you don't do (read: text) anything you might (read: will) regret later.

2. Have a good cry.

There is nothing quite as therapeutic as having a good cry. While having a crush obviously isn't the same as being in a relationship with someone, the pain you feel when you find out those feelings aren't returned can be similar to the pain following a breakup. Letting your tears fall will help you feel better.

If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can watch some sad movies or play some sad songs to get your tears started. Sometimes we need to watch something sad to be able to really express our own sadness.

Some of the best sad tear-jerker movies to watch include:

  • Titantic
  • The Notebook
  • Terms of Endearment
  • A Star Is Born

And some of the best sad songs are:

  • "Don't Speak" by No Doubt
  • "Shallow" by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper from "A Star Is Born"
  • "Lucid Dreams" by Juice WRLD
  • "Ghost" by Halsey
  • "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron

3. Have plenty of dates with Netflix.

Distract yourself with some of those shows you keep meaning to watch or catch up on others that have just gotten away from you.

Besides, there is really no better cure to move on from a crush than to find a new one. With so many movies or TV shows at your disposal, you should have a new celebrity crush in no time.

Some recommendations for shows to watch on Netflix include:

  • Self-Made: The real-life story of Madam C.J. Walker is sure to inspire you, as well as remind you that you absolutely do not need a partner to live your very best life and pursue your wildest dreams.
  • New Girl: Because have you seen the episode about Menzies yet? You will not be able to stop laughing.
  • GLOW: There's nothing quite like watching some of the (literally) strongest women you'll ever see take on the wacky world of wrestling as a determined team in their 80s neon best.
  • Selling Sunset: Who could even focus on their crush when you're watching these high-powered, high-drama, high-end real estate agents show off some of the most amazing homes you'll ever see?
  • Love Is Blind: Watching what happens when couples get engaged without ever having laid on eyes on one another will remind you that there is someone for everyone out there, and that being alone is far better than being with someone who is definitely not the person for you.
  • The Tudors: Because you may not have the person you're crushing on, but at least you still have your head ...

4. Pamper yourself.

Do something to remind yourself of how beautiful and wonderful you are.

We tend to forget when we realize someone doesn't like us that it has nothing to do with us. I'll say it again: they may not like you like you, but that has nothing to do with you not being good enough. Take some time to relax and remind yourself of how awesome you are.

Pampering ideas to try for some self-care with (or without friends):

  • Try a new face mask.
  • Give yourself a manicure with some of the cool DIY acrylic or gel nails everyone is loving right now.
  • Light a scented candle or diffuse essential oils and take a long bubble bath.
  • Sleep in and indulge in your favorite breakfast when you wake up.
  • Build yourself a pillow fort before snuggling in to watch the movies or shows mentioned above.

5. Focus on your favorite hobbies.

Now is your time to get back to checking off the books on your reading list or go back to finishing that work painting you keep meaning to finish. All of that time you've been spending thinking about your crush and dreaming of a love that will never be can be put to far better use by diving back into those activities and hobbies you love most.

6. Or try something new.

Doing something new can be a great distraction. Find something more productive and fulfilling than someone you've never even dated to focus all of that passion on.

Besides, you might also meet some new people along the way (even if it's just over Zoom), and meeting new people will help you move on as well.

Some ideas for new things to try include:

  • Keeping a journal.
  • Hiking.
  • Trying out some new recipes and learning how to cook like a& gourmet chef.
  • Taking up gardening.
  • Learning a new language.

RELATED: The Real (Sad) Reason We Cling So Hard To Unrequited Love

Things to do by yourself to help you get over a crush

7. Tell your crush how you feel.

I know, I know — it sounds crazy. And if we're being honest, this tip isn't for everyone. But if it's possible, tell your crush how you feel.

If you can't do it to face-to-face, consider sending a carefully written email, text or handwritten note. It's easier to get over someone once you've been able to get your feelings out. You'll have made sure they know and definitely do not feel the same way, and can move on feeling a solid sense of closure.

8. Exercise.

When you work out, you feel better about yourself and better in general. And once you feel better, you'll be less likely to pine for someone who isn't interested in being with you.

Plus, exercising releases endorphins, naturally occurring chemicals in the body that relieve pain and produce a feeling of euphoria. Who couldn't use some of that?

If you're not a regular excercise machine already, some workout ideas to try include:

  • Hiking (yes, again, because hiking Is pretty much the best)
  • Yoga (there are lots of great videos on YouTube)
  • Jogging
  • Dancing

9. Remind yourself of what you don't like about them.

Chances are you put your crush up on a pedestal and couldn't see anything bad about them. They may be pretty great, but no one is perfect. One helpful way to move on is to remind yourself that your crush isn't somehow an exception to that rule.

Without being mean, make an honest list of things you don't really like all that much about your crush. There's nothing like bursting your own bubble to help you remember there will be someone better for you in the future.

Having trouble coming up with ideas? Some less than ideal characteristics include:

  • Never asking you how you are after (and especially not before) you ask them.
  • Never initiating conversations or dates.
  • Going on and on about their problems but never having time to hear about yours.
  • Not treating your friends kindly.
  • Not sharing similar interests, goals or perspectives.

10. Make a change.

Don't be the same person who sat there passively waiting for someone to like them back. Without thinking of anything too dramatic or permanent, consider making a change that may jolt you into a new view of your reality.

Ideas for some not-too-drastic changes you can make include:

  • Coloring your hair (maybe start with a semi-permanent color wash).
  • Buying some new clothes in a style you've always wanted to try but haven't.
  • Rearrange your furniture for a more open layout.
  • Paint the walls of your favorite room in your favorite color.

11. Clean them out of your life.

I'm not saying you need to cut your crush out of your life entirely (although, if they aren't a close friend or co-worker, that's an option too), but it might help to distance yourself for a while.

You may also want to consider literally getting rid of anything that belongs to them you're currently keeping. That means returning, regifting, recycling or throwing away any gifts you don't need, any holiday cards they sent you, any pens they lent you, and any sweatshirts you "forgot" to return.

It's also a good idea to delete all of those pictures and screenshots you've saved so you can look at them whenever you feel like it.

12. Let go of any lingering resentment.

It might seem easier to hate this person for not liking you the way you like them, but holding onto resentment for someone can be damaging to your own well being.

You need to let it go — let all of the feelings go — in order to move on.

Ideas for letting go of resentment:

  • Write down all of your feelings on a piece of paper, insert it into a balloon, and let them float away.
  • Write their name on a piece of paper, pin it to a pillow, and punch it until you don't want to anymore.
  • Make a list of the things they've done that have hurt you, and then forgive them for each one.
  • When you find yourself thinking resentful thoughts, redirect your brain by asking yourself what you're grateful for in this moment.

If at any time you find yourself struggling with feelings of sadness that become overwhelming, please do not hesitate to see a therapist.

Even during the current pandemic, many are available via telehealth appointments.

No one said getting over a crush would be fast or easy, but you can make the process faster and easier.

Doing the necessary work to make that happen will be worth it, because out there, waiting, is the right one for you. And the only way you'll be able to find them is by moving on from the wrong one first.

RELATED: 4 Questions You Must Ask Yourself When You're Having A Crush

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Estee Kahn is a former YourTango editor and blogger who writes about relationships, love, family, and more.