How To Stop Crushing On Every Person You Meet

3 Ways To Stop Getting A Crush On Every New Person You Meet (And Learn To Be Happy Single)
Contributor
Love, Self

So you’re at a party and having a great time when suddenly, the guy or girl of your dreams walks in! Or, so you think. Really, it’s just someone else who came to the party, but now, totally infatuated and crushing hard, you can’t stop staring at them. You wonder “are they single? Are they talking to anyone? WILL THEY TALK TO ME?!”

If you’ve ever had that moment (or repeatedly had that moment), you have the problem of constant crushing. Every new person you see that catches your eye is now your future potential husband or wife. After a while though, you begin to get tired of getting a crush over and over again. However, you can’t seem to stop.

One of the people you lay eyes on has to be the one for you, right?

RELATED: How To Get Your Crush To Like You (Without Being Fake Or Phony)

While that may be true someday, currently it doesn’t seem to be the case. Well, I’ll admit I’ve had the same problem to one degree or another. When you're in college, it feels like everyone you take an interest in is already taken. I’d just keep disappointing myself, but along the way, I've come up with a few things that work for me.

The tips I’m going to offer aren’t fool-proof. If I’ve learned anything through my endeavors, it’s that you can’t stop the heart from wanting love. But with a little effort, you can stop falling for everyone around you.

1. First, learn that it's okay to be alone.

The first thing you have to remember is its okay to be alone. I know that sounds kinda sad, but let me explain. The main reason you keep developing immediate crushes is because you just want someone to be with you. And that’s okay. It’s natural to want company and to spend time with people you love. But you also have be okay with it just being you. And that’s good too.

A lot of times we get so caught up in the things that we can do with others that we forget there are things we can do ourselves. If you want to watch that new rom-com, you do that. If you want to try the restaurant down the street, you can do that too. Find the things you enjoy doing on your own, then they’ll be even more fun once you find that special someone.

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2. Know what you want.

My next piece of advice is to know what you want. You don’t often go into the grocery store with no idea of what to buy, so why approach relationships that way? Knowing what you want in a partner will help to cut down on the instant infatuations.

When I say know what you want, I mean it in two ways- physically and personality. It’s great if you find the guy you want that’s 6’ 5”, short brown hair and has got muscles to boot, but if his personality is brash and reckless, that’s probably not your best choice. If you know what you’re looking for and the majority of people around you don’t match that criteria, then you probably won’t develop feelings for those people.

RELATED: 12 Ways To Get Over A Crush (Even When It Feels Impossible)

3. Be patient.

My last tip is a pretty simple one- be patient. The universe has a funny way of doing things. Sometimes you’ll find your soulmate in high school and for others it might not be until their 40s. But I believe there’s someone for everyone. That theory goes as far back as Aristophranes and Plato. It’s kinda one of those deals of “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” So be patient, the one for you will come.

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Jesse Oakley is a writer who writes about love, relationships and self-advice.