You Can Now Officially Get A Boob Job In A BOTTLE

Photo: Kickstarter / Bosom Couture Boob Glue

No more saggy boobs.

Chances are good, if you’ve ever watched celebrities parading their way down the red carpet, you’ve no doubt noticed that the ladies are occasionally wearing clothing that let their breasts seemingly defy gravity.

For the majority of women, going braless in a fancy-pants dress isn’t the answer, either. We can’t all have skyward-facing breasts, so those low-cut, barely-there dresses are going to need a little help from their friends.

Specifically, something strong and capable of holding them up with dignity, because you can’t pay someone to hold them up for you.


Of course, some women, like Kim Kardashian, have come forward and revealed that they use spools and spools of tape to get their girls in place. So, as hot as it makes them look, you know that cannot be comfortable. And spending hours with your breasts literally jammed up with tape must leave some awful sticky marks all over.

Not to mention at the end, either you or someone you love is going to end up in the awkward negotiation situation with the tape keeping your breasts hostage. They’re going to have to painfully and slowly pull layers of the stuff from your nipples like you’re a kidnap victim under the spotlight. Let’s not even start imagining that scenario, because I want to not be cringing for the rest of the day.


Well, someone finally figured out a way to take the pain out of amazing, cleavage-baring dresses. If you, like many women, have a healthy fear of upholding your twins with tape, then worry no longer, because someone has definitely got your back.

Enter Bosom Couture Boob Glue, which promises to “instantly enhance the appearance of breasts by keeping them positioned exactly where you want while adding extra lift, support, or cleavage to your attire.” That sounds like a pretty big promise for some little glue, especially for women with larger than average bust sizes.

So, how does it actually work?

Well, simple is often times best, and there’s little simpler than rolling on some adhesive, positioning and holding your breasts in the garment for just a minute, and then laying back to let all the compliments come flooding in.

You can make any size of breasts effortlessly look like you’ve gotten a boob job and smile knowingly while other women pretend they’re not studying your outfit and trying to figure it out for themselves how you’ve added some anti-gravity to those gals. You can even use it with strapless or push-up bras to give yourself some added boost if you don’t want to ditch your too-cute bra!


And if your skin is sensitive, well, not to worry. The glue is very gentle, goes on clear, and dries pretty quickly and invisibly. And, of course, it won’t stain any of your clothing. It comes off easily with soap and water but is perspiration resistant, so you don’t have to worry about getting nervous and watching one breast start to droop.

Bosom Couture Boob Glue also doesn’t contain any nasty parabens or silicone/latex materials that many people have allergies to, so yes, it’s incredibly safe for your skin!

Right now, this amazing dress glue is being funded through Kickstarter, so you can go and make a pledge and help it get on the shelves — and your chest! — even faster!