The Secret To A Happy Marriage: Separate Vacations?

Love, Self

Author Iris Krasnow says the key to a happy marriage is distance -- and the proof is in the pudding.

Boredom. It's the leading deal-breaker in marriages, according to a recent survey of over 100 family and divorce lawyers. Not to mention Brad Pitt.

Married for 23 years, journalist Iris Krasnow has a personal antidote to the long-term marital rut that creeps into relationships over time: separate summer vacations. Shine: Are You Stuck In A Semi-Happy Marriage?

Once a year for about a decade, she's spent a portion of her summer away from her husband. When her four sons were young, she'd work as a counselor at their camp in the Adirondacks while her husband, an architect and furniture maker, focused on his own projects back at their Annapolis, Maryland home. "I love nature so I just thrived up there and he'd get so much work done back home," says Krasnow, an assistant professor in the School of Communication at American University.

After seven weeks away (with a visit in between) their marriage was usually stronger than ever. "When I'd come home, the grind of an ordinary marriage seemed extraordinary," she says. Shine: How To Take A Vacation To Solve Marriage Problems

It's one of the trade secrets she's learned in her own marriage, and through interviewing over 200 women in long-term relationships, for her new book, The Secret Lives of Wives.

A little distance is key to growing "separately, together," as Krasnow calls it. "You can't live happily ever after in your marriage if you're not happy outside of it," she says. One major misconception in marriage, as Krasnow sees it, is believing your spouse is your only source of happiness. "No one person can make you happy, it has to come from within," says Krasnow. "When you live with someone day in and out the 'hot' doesn't stay 'hot' unless you take time apart to discover yourself and what makes you happy independent of your partner."

Read the rest of the article on Yahoo! Shine: Is Distance The Key To A Happy Marriage?

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Written by Piper Weiss for Yahoo! Shine.

This article was originally published at Shine. Reprinted with permission from the author.