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No one is a perfect parent, but you can still do your best.
By Kate Rose — Last updated on Jan 27, 2023
While it can be hard for children to express what they need from you, looking at your child's natal chart can help you tailor your parenting style to their unique needs.
Your child’s birth chart has clues stored within it about what they may feel challenged by, what they may need from you emotionally and how you can best parent them to help them become their best self while feeling loved and nurtured.
By understanding important placements within your child’s birth chart, you can show up as the best parent you can be and even work towards successfully healing generational wounds.
Important placements in your child’s natal chart
1. Moon sign: how they process emotions
In astrology, your child’s Moon sign represents their emotional self and how they handle feelings. It will help you understand how connected they are to their emotions, which means that it will also give you clues as to how they process their feelings.
For instance, if your child has an Aries Moon, they may suppress a lot of emotions and you may only see anger or physical outbursts. By understanding their Moon sign you can not only understand why they are behaving a certain way when even they might not fully understand it and be better equipped to teach them the right strategies to express and deal with their emotions.
On the other hand, if your child has a Cancer Moon, then they might self-isolate, taking the blame onto themselves and holing up in their room. In this case, instead of feeling frustrated and helpless at their lack of communication, you can teach them how to advocate for their own feelings and make sure they understand they are not responsible for the emotions of others, which can thwart the tendency towards codependency in later years.
Your child’s Moon sign is a map for how they process their emotional world, giving you the best pathways to reach them.
2. 3rd house: their communication style
The third house represents communication styles and even how someone thinks about things internally. This is important because depending on the planets and sign in your child's third house, their communication needs will be different.
For instance, let us say they have Capricorn ruling this area of your life. That means that planning and structure will be especially important for your child. They will need a routine more than a child with a Pisces-ruled third house.
Your Capricorn third house child would need to feel validated in their need to plan and look at things in a step-by-step way, however, you can also help them develop their emotional intelligence by asking questions that lead them to think about things in that way.
On the other hand, if you do have a Pisces third house child, visuals like chore and homework charts are important. You will have to help your Pisces focus as they may get distracted more and while everyone has feelings that can become hurt, your Pisces child will be more sensitive than your Capricorn.
Understanding their communication style can help you determine the best ways to talk to your child and even where you can help them in their own development.
3. 4th house: what they need to feel safe and happy at home
All matters of home and family are ruled by the fourth house in astrology, making this an especially important theme in your child’s birth chart.
Often the fourth house can also point to the ancestral healing they will encounter throughout life, so it is not just a place of understanding what they need to feel loved and happy but also what they might be dealing with as they grow up.
The fourth house varies depending upon what sign rules this area for your child.
For example, if they have their fourth house in Aquarius, they will need a great deal of freedom to explore and learn but will need your help in learning how to care for trivial things, like cleaning their room or making a schedule. Aquarius fourth houses are like Sagittarius and often, it is these children you often see on backpack leashes out in public because they are fearlessly investigative of the world.
Understanding this about your child can help you make sure that you do not pass on your own fears to them, inhibiting their life purpose.
On the other hand, if your child has a Taurus fourth house, you know that their home space will be especially important including how clean it is, how it looks and even how it smells. They will be the homebody that loves returning at the end of each day. This can also give you awareness that this also might be the child that has a hard time leaving the nest once they're older.
Your child’s Fourth House can help show you not just what they need to be happy, but also what they need to truly grow.
4. Chiron: how you can help heal their inner wounds
Chiron is an asteroid known as the wounded healer. The purpose of Chiron is not necessarily for you to heal your child but to help you understand how to guide them so they can heal themselves.
Chiron is the wounded healer because it first had to heal itself before it could take on the healing of another. Understanding your own Chiron before looking at your child’s is important as well to see if you have begun this process because then it could provide you with more information and clarity in your parenting role.
Chiron is an interesting asteroid because it dives deep into what will come up in your life.
If you have a child with their Chiron in Aries, it means that they really are going to have to do a great deal on their own to heal. This will come through self-mastery and understanding which is brought through by greater awareness and experiences. For instance, in this case, you might recognize that seeing a therapist early in life is of benefit or even introducing self-help podcasts early on.
On the other hand, if their Chiron is in Gemini, it means that writing and communication will be important for their healing process so you can help steer or suggest activities like journaling to help them tap into that healing creative outlet.
By understanding your child’s Chiron, it does not mean you will be able to prevent them from having to heal, but you can help support them in doing it in the ways that are best for them.
Kate Rose is a writer, spiritual astrologist, relationship and life coach, and motivational speaker. For more of her work, visit her website.