11 Ways People Block Their Own Blessings Without Even Realizing, According To Research
You may be unknowingly sabotaging your own happiness.
Irina Bg | Shutterstock Many people are aware of the ways that introducing and allowing negative energy into their lives promotes bad habits and poor relationships, but it's much more difficult to go one step further and actually enact change. Whether it's forgoing boundaries or falling short on building internal security, there are many ways people block their own blessings without even realizing it, according to research.
By acknowledging the parts of your life where there's room for growth and being honest with yourself about the people, things, and environments truly adding value to your life, you can start to create change that actually breeds a happier, more fulfilling life. When you ignore these subtle behaviors and focus on building a comfort zone, rather than a challenging space for growth, you're not just sabotaging good energy, but a future that's full of opportunity and excitement.
Here are 11 ways people block their own blessings without even realizing, according to research
1. Letting their inner critic run wild
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When we let our inner critic run wild, encouraging us to compare ourselves to others, "people-please" in toxic relationships, and seek external validation from peers, we're subtly blocking positive energy and blessings from entering into our lives.
Without self-awareness or an internal sense of security and confidence, we fall short on healthily advocating for our needs, whether it's in personal relationships or in professional spaces like the workplace. This negative inner critic doesn't just spark emotional turmoil, it can also spark negative physical symptoms like anxiety-driven headaches, fatigue, and exhaustion.
So, focus on making your mind a place where you feel comfortable and empowered, even if that means adopting a few morning affirmations or picking up a hobby that allows you to emotionally recharge and reflect.
2. Staying afraid of failure
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Not seeking out new opportunities and challenges can easily block people from their own blessings in everyday life. According to a study published in the Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, a fear of failure often leads to procrastination and other avoidant tendencies, but these fears stem from a fear of discomfort, rejection, and embarrassment more than anything else.
Many people would prefer to feign a misguided sense of control by avoiding things they're not good at or new experiences that they can't perfectly anticipate. They live completely in their comfort zone, remaining stagnant and isolated from newness.
3. Holding grudges
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Forgiveness is often much better for physical and emotional health than holding a grudge is, according to a study from Psychological Science. When we hold grudges towards people and in relationships, resentment grows unsuspectingly, sabotaging our internal well-being, emotional regulation skills, and general health.
People who ruminate over old experiences, regret, and grudges are also less open to new experiences and relationships. They hold themselves back from growing internally and socially when they're hyper-focused on the past.
4. Refusing to ask for help
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Asking for help can be mentally and emotionally great for you — not just to promote social connectedness by ensuring other people feel valued, but to learn new things and embrace newness. When we ask for help, we're reminding other people of our confidence and intelligence — people willing to overstep their ego and ask for advice and guidance are less confined to the anxiety of needing control and wanting to feel "superior" to others.
Despite societal stigmas and expectations, asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength that can open people up to new experiences, opportunities, and blessings.
5. Lacking gratitude
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According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, expressing thanks and practicing gratitude can promote a more balanced and positive internal well-being. It not only encourages you to reflect on the positive aspects of your life, it also helps other people to feel more valued, heard, and understood in casual conversations and interactions.
Like relationship expert and therapist Terri Orbuch, PhD suggests, people feel better about themselves and their relationships when they're able to communicate gratitude more effectively.
It plays into social skills, self-awareness, confidence, and growth to be able to express gratitude vulnerably, which is why it's an incredibly important skill for people to master if they want to be more receptive to blessings in their lives.
6. Staying in their comfort zone
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Living in your comfort zone isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, when we're dealing with adversity, struggling emotionally, or going through a rough patch in a relationship, the comfort and familiarity of these routines and mindsets can be soothing.
However, remaining in your comfort zone, avoiding challenges, and sticking to what you're comfortable with all of the time has negative impacts on personal growth, emotional intelligence, and general well-being.
According to a study published in Psychological Science, personal growth requires discomfort — whether it's meeting new people, trying out things we've never done before, or maintaining a hobby or activity that we're bad at. Staying in their comfort zone is one of the ways people block their own blessings without even realizing, according to research, which is why it's important to follow discomfort and newness to a certain extent.
7. Staying in a toxic relationship
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Like psychology expert Arash Emamzadeh suggests, many people fall into toxic cycles where they sabotage their own happiness, well-being, and blessings by remaining in toxic relationships. Some may even seek out bad partners and toxic friends to cope with their misguided emotional turmoil or to cope with unresolved trauma, no matter how horribly the experience feels.
Staying in toxic relationships by refusing to set boundaries, stick up for themselves, or create space between unhealthy people or some of the many ways people block their own blessings without even realizing it, according to research.
8. Constantly comparing themselves
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Comparison isn't always a bad thing, especially when it helps you to craft goals for yourself.
For example, a freshman high school tennis player may compare themselves to a Varsity player — crafting achievable goals, getting pointers from their game, and even identifying weaknesses of their own. That's a healthy example of comparison, one that helps people to promote their own self-awareness and progress, without sparking anxiety, disappointment, or self-doubt.
But comparison culture in our society can be inherently bad. From societal pressures toward social norms and double standards around appearance, there are a million things that grow out of hand when people are constantly comparing themselves to others and ignoring their own internal needs, desires, and interests.
It's one of the ways people block their own blessings, because they're so focused on what everyone else is doing — and what those people think about them — than themselves.
9. Not setting boundaries
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Whether it's vague work-life boundaries, like a study from Frontiers in Psychology suggests, or poor boundaries and communication in personal relationships, not being able to set expectations and express your needs can lead to a great deal of emotional turmoil and dysregulation.
It's one of the ways people block their own blessings without even realizing it because they cultivate relationships with people and in environments where they're constantly taken advantage of.
Unmet needs and poor communication often leads to resentment that can sabotage even small daily routines like moving your body, so refusing to stick up for yourself and set boundaries can lead to more harm than good, even when it feels comfortable in the moment.
10. Keeping bad friends
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Having a negative inner circle can have an unsuspectingly profound impact on your mental health, emotional well-being, and physical health.
Like experts from Dr. Kez Chirolab suggest, when you're constantly subjected to negativity, bad energy, or toxic behaviors — from gaslighting to emotional manipulation — you have less emotional capacity for personal growth, emotional regulation, and pure joy.
People who block their own blessings often have a negative inner circle of people sabotaging their growth, whether they realize it or not.
11. Overthinking everything
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A study published in Social Science & Medicine found that people who "think too much" in their daily life — ruminating over anxious thoughts and overthinking simple tasks — often find themselves dealing with much more emotional turmoil than those who don't.
Whether there's overlap with mental illnesses like an anxiety disorder or not, living cerebrally — constantly in your head — detaches you from true emotion, regulation, self-awareness, and clarity.
People tend to miss opportunities, positive social interactions, and blessings in their lives when they can't live in the present moment and be generally present in their bodies, making everything feel more overwhelming and anxiety-inducing.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
