11 Things Truly Smart Women Quietly Abandon As They Get Older
Are you wise enough to drop these things from your life?
mimagephotography / Shutterstock Being an older woman comes with many things—wrinkles, nostalgia, and maybe a little bit of a crick in your hip. However, it’s not all bad. With age comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes better habits that let you live your best life.
Getting rid of certain things is a prize well-earned. And sometimes, it’s also a mark of intelligence and self-respect. These things, in particular, suggest a woman who’s earned her stripes.
These are 11 things truly smart women quietly abandon as they get older
1. Following trends
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When you’re young or a teenager, following trends is just what you do. To ignore trends is to follow the path of social ostracism. But is it wise as you get older? Not at all. It doesn’t make you happy.
A study from Rutgers University found that consumers tend to have everything but happiness, and part of that is the never-ending decision to buy, buy, buy everything. Breaking that cycle to discover yourself is crucial to your self-development.
2. Toxic societal expectations
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If you’re like most women, the expectation of having kids was foisted on you, even when you weren’t that thrilled about the idea. Or maybe it wasn’t kids, but the expectation that you would give up a career or your own needs for a husband. Sound familiar?
As smart women age, they start to realize that other people’s inconveniences are not their emergency to deal with. So, they stop bending to those expectations that don’t really work with their ideal life plan.
3. Mean girl behavior
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Did you ever notice how many women tend to treat other women as competition, often for the worst types of men? It’s known as mean girl behavior or relational aggression, and it often involves behavior that is passive-aggressive, backbiting, and just plain terrible.
Smart women realize that other women aren’t the enemy. The real issue is the way society tends to pit women against each other.
4. Valuing other people’s opinions
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This has become a part of being a modern woman: dealing with men who seem to want to put women down for just existing. Pickup artists call this “negging,” and it’s actually designed to make you feel insecure.
As it became normalized in our society, more and more women started to smarten up about it. They call it out and then let the people who are foolish enough to deal with it handle it. Smart ladies have better things to do.
5. Giving the “nice guy” a chance
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There’s a reason why so many online boards warn women against nice guys. It’s not because women should like jerks. Instead, the worst, most manipulative jerks are often the ones who tout their niceness as if it’s a Starbucks coffee cup.
Even if a girl wants to be kind to guys like this, it never ends well for her. Eventually, most women notice this pattern and bail as soon as a guy starts on the “nice guys finish last” spiel.
6. Dating men who aren't good for them
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While we’re on this, we might as well talk about how women are socialized to accept terrible treatment from men. Whether it’s weaponized incompetence, Nice Guy syndrome, or straight-up gaslighting doesn’t matter.
Studies show women are less happy in marriages than men are, often due to uneven standards. That’s why smart women tend to be far more choosy with the men they date.
7. The need to be right
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We've all met people who have to be the know-it-alls in the group. They must be right all the time, no matter what it is. Even when they’re wrong, they come up with a million and one reasons why they are actually correct.
Smart women (and men) often realize that being right isn’t everything in life. Sometimes, it’s better to be happy or to be willing to learn than it is to be correct.
8. Negative self-talk
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Many adults have met someone who was exceptionally talented, but kept on muzzling their opportunities by saying they “could never do that,” or because “they just don’t have what it takes.”
The truth is, they often end up sabotaging themselves. Intelligent women will often start to realize how much of that self-talk turns into self-sabotage. So, slowly but surely, they learn to talk themselves up.
9. Avoiding uncomfortable situations
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Uncomfortable situations are a part of life. They can arise in the form of a conversation with a child about a bad habit or in the form of a major life change, such as a significant dietary adjustment. Discomfort is a necessary part of life and growth.
The more willing you are to face that discomfort, the better off you’ll be long term. Being able to face discomfort can make a world of difference in your day-to-day life, especially when it comes to conversations.
10. The need for external validation
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Though everyone needs some validation from time to time, there is a difference between needing a once-in-a-blue-moon pick-me-up and deriving your entire self-worth from what others think about you. That kind of attitude is what leads to chronic people-pleasing.
Among teenagers, people-pleasing is extremely commonplace. Learning how to grow up is realizing that external validation is fleeting and often not worth the trouble.
11. Interest in drama
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Drama often seems so fun when you’re on the outside. It gives you something to talk about, something that makes you feel special, as if you’re in on some kind of odd club. However, it’s not actually fun or even that interesting.
Drama-prone people tend to see their life quality slowly diminish over time. You don’t need that. So, just learn to love the peace. You’ll be amazed at how nice life can be.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
