12 Things Overthinkers Do Differently Than Those With Simple Minds
Overthinkers can sit and painstakingly mull over every single choice they make.
pyrozhenka | Shutterstock For overthinkers, every decision is painstaking. There they are about to do something when... wait, should they really do that? Maybe it's standing in the middle of the supermarket trying to debate over something as frivolous as a box of rice, or weighing their options when it comes to their career, but no matter what choice they make, they end up second-guessing themselves.
The things overthinkers do differently than those with simple minds aren't always obvious, but they almost always come down to the choices they need to make. Where simple minds may go with their gut instinct, overthinkers do just that — overthink. And it can cause issues in every area of their lives.
Here are 12 things overthinkers do differently than those with simple minds
1. They feel pressure to make choices quickly
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Overthinkers feel immense pressure to quickly decide. While people with simple minds act like it's oh-so-easy to just make a choice, people who think about it a lot know that it's torture, plain and simple.
Choices aren't as easy as "this or that"; rather, it's a process they mull over for minutes or even hours on end. And that pressure to do so quickly can feel overwhelming.
2. They can't sleep at night if they make the 'wrong' choice
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It's vital to choose the right shampoo, cookie, parking spot, partner, or pair of socks. Every choice feels important to them. Something major could happen if they buy the wrong pair of gym shorts, you know?
While nothing will happen if they buy the supposedly wrong pair of gym shorts or, in their minds, make an incorrect choice about anything, they obsess over whether it was the right decision, which is one of the major things overthinkers do differently than those with simple minds.
According to psychologist Kyle Davies, "Though it feels productive, overthinking often delivers the opposite of what it promises. Rumination — repetitive, negative, and self-focused thought — is strongly associated with anxiety, depression, and emotional exhaustion."
3. They don't consider their decision-making a black-and-white issue
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Nothing is that cut and dry for overthinkers. There are always options in the world, but they're unable to see the whole spectrum of possibilities. Too many people view overthinking as a nuisance, when the reality is that it's also a blessing.
They see numerous possibilities, rather than one solution or option. And while it serves them well with more complex issues, they may drive themselves insane in the process.
4. They're the go-to person for advice
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Overthinkers are never surprised when someone asks them for advice. They know why people come to them with their squabbles or drama, because they will dissect the situation and put any and all possible spins on the matter.
Others really enjoy this. It makes them feel very important as the overthinkers sit and ponder their dilemmas. It also helps them see aspects they weren't open to seeing on their own. And according to studies from Data Freaks, "looking at our own situations from an outsider's perspective can help us channel the wisdom we need to make good choices for ourselves."
5. They prefer others to choose for them
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Overthinkers know why the phrase "Why don't you pick?" is not just helpful but soul-saving. Sometimes, they want someone else to pick so they don't have to jog through their mental index, which, by the way, is completely exhausting.
They rejoice when someone makes the final call over something as trivial as dinner plans. It takes the immense pressure off them and makes them feel more in control of their lives and emotions.
6. They make big decisions easier than others
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Oddly enough, overthinkers could ponder the depths over what phone to buy, yet in two seconds flat decide to leave their job and go for a totally new career. Maybe they struggled with finding a baby monitor for their child, but have no problems when deciding to go back to college after a five-year absence.
Big decisions are exciting and powerful, but little decisions feel mind-numbing and make overthinkers anxious. As licensed marriage and family therapist Emma McAdam revealed, overthinking can lead to decision paralysis, which can hold people back in life.
7. They have major regrets
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After they make a big decision and are in the middle of their new life plan, overthinkers will sit and debate in their brains, deciding if they were rashly impulsive or if they made a smart choice. Sometimes, they feel deep regret and doubt their instincts, and it's one of the unfortunate things overthinkers do differently than those with simple minds.
As neurobehavioral scientist J. Kim Penberthy explained, "Dealing with regret is even more difficult because of the other negative emotions connected to it: remorse, sorrow and helplessness. Regret can increase our stress, negatively affect physical health and throw off the balance of hormone and immune systems. Regret is not only unpleasant, it is unhealthy."
8. They always need back-up reasoning
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Only overthinkers understand why, even when something great happens, they like to sit there and wonder how it happened to them, if it will happen again, and if they deserved it. They can get themselves all dressed up to celebrate a big major event, but inside they're asking, "Do I deserve this?"
Their urge to question everything they do goes right back to the issue of rumination. And though overthinking and rumination are different, both can heighten anxiety and lead to feelings of sadness.
9. They have an ongoing battle raging in their minds
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An overthinker's instinct is there. When they hear something the first time, they consult their brains on the matter. But the problem is that their worries tend to box out their sanity and, suddenly, it's a battle of choices in their brains.
But licensed clinical therapist Dr. Jana Scrivani pointed out that an ongoing battle raging inside is very similar to multitasking. "Despite everything our society is trying to tell us, that we should be really proficient in multitasking and be able to watch television, making dinner, watch our children and check work emails all at the same time, research really shows that our performance suffers when we try to do more things at one time. The same holds true for decision making," she said.
10. They know their indecisive behavior is annoying
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Overthinkers know it's annoying when they can't decide which storage system to buy or what flavor of ice cream to choose, but they really can't help it. In fact, sometimes, when other folks make a choice easily, they silently wish they could be like that.
When someone else can pick a beer to drink or a pair of shoes to wear, their brain is silently saying, "Bad choice. If only you were more discerning." And it can be overwhelming and daunting.
11. They understand the value of not being rash
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One of the things overthinkers do differently than those with simple minds is the way they respond versus react. Many times, their overthinking has saved them from wearing a tacky shirt or saying yes to something they didn't want to do.
Researchers from Stanford Graduate School of Business even concluded that "individuals who calibrate their thought process to the demands of the situation are better liked, more influential, and viewed as making better decisions." Needless to say, overthinkers are the ones to comfort their friends when they end up crying over their own choices.
12. They don't enjoy having multiple options
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When people say there are many options, it sends overthinkers reeling. Really? More options? They were in a tizzy over the first three options, so trying to deal with more makes them cringe.
Along with salespeople, anyone who offers an overthinker a plethora of choices is often met with confusion, annoyance, and even anger. Overthinkers don't need any more distractions in their little mind theater.
Laura Lifshitz writes about divorce, relationships, women's issues, and parenting for the New York Times, Women's Health, Working Mother, PopSugar, and more.
