11 Things In Someone's Home That Instantly Reveal They Avoid Real Responsibility
It's easy to tell when someone is shirking their responsibilities simply by the state of their home.
Nikodash / Shutterstock We all know someone whose home feels more like a messy college dorm room than a space owned by a fully functioning adult. While everyone's style is different, a home that is set up to avoid household responsibilities is chaotic, to say the least.
There may be several things in someone's home that instantly reveal they are someone who avoids real responsibility, such as clothes strewn everywhere on the floor or a fridge filled to the brim with expired food that should have been thrown out months ago. Observing the state of someone's home can reveal a great deal about their mental well-being and personality quirks. When you see their home for the first time, it might startle you to see everything that they are avoiding or hiding away. Of course, nobody's perfect, but if more than a few of these things ring true, it might be time to show a little tender love and care to your home.
Here are 11 things in someone's home that instantly reveal they avoid real responsibility
1. A mattress on the floor
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One way to tell someone is dodging adult responsibilities is when you enter their home to see their mattress on the floor with no bed frame in sight. While this may be a common custom in certain countries for back benefits, you risk mold and dust mites attaching to the fabric. Besides, purchasing a furniture set is a rite of passage for becoming a fully functioning adult.
Buying and assembling a bed frame isn't complicated or expensive if you know where to shop. Living with a mattress on the floor fosters a sense of responsibility in your relationship. A mattress on the floor feels temporary, which is the energy that you will bring into any situation that you are in.
2. Stacks of unopened mail
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Stacks of unopened mail might seem like a harmless mess, but if that mail is important, then it's more about an avoidance of responsibility. Whether it's bills or package returns, these things require action in a timely manner. Delaying actions like opening mail can result in missed deadlines, late fees, and reputational damage.
A study from the University of Toronto found that late submissions led evaluators to judge the work as lower quality and view the person as less reliable. Everyone falls behind sometimes, but when unopened mail becomes a pattern for someone, then it shows that they don't value anyone's time, including their own. It also reveals what they consider more important than their adult responsibilities. Unopened mail or packages suddenly become a symbol for delayed growth.
3. A fridge full of expired food
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Managing what is inside your fridge can not only keep you organized but also healthy. The fridge is a haven for bacteria, and having expired foods can spoil the fresh ones quickly. You can make yourself sick, or the household can have a putrid smell that will make your guests head straight out the front door. The odor can be so distinct and powerful that even fragrance spray can’t stop it.
A homeowner who refuses to clean their fridge will continue to stockpile items until there is no more room for anything else to fit. This isn't entirely their fault either. Foods labeled with phrases like 'best buy' or 'used by' are less likely to be fully used, and the ambiguity leads to unnecessary waste. If the inside of the fridge is a mess, then just know that the rest of their life might be too.
4. Piles of dirty laundry everywhere
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Seeing piles of dirty laundry in random places throughout the home shows you where someone's priorities are. It's one thing for these piles to be neatly stacked or in a basket near the washer, but to try to maneuver your way around clothes on the floor just to get to the bathroom is pretty insane and messy. Letting it pile up unchecked suggests a pattern of procrastination and an unwillingness to do even the smallest of tasks.
Nearly 50% of adults procrastinate on household chores, such as doing laundry. Neglecting laundry can show just how someone pushes obligations in favor of immediate comforts or distractions. If they can't do their laundry, but they can do a million other unnecessary things, it begins to make their guests wonder if they have their priorities straight.
5. A messy kitchen
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Your kitchen is a reflection of who you are as a person, whether that's someone who thrives in a clean space or someone who works better under overwhelming situations. A messy and chaotic kitchen may suggest a lifestyle where shortcuts are often taken and accountability is often optional. It can speak volumes about how someone handles their time, commitments, and even self-respect.
The kitchen is the heart of a home, and neglecting it may come off as a lack of respect for one's home. The neater a kitchen is, the less clutter will appear and the better your mental health will become. It's a simple but necessary task to clean the one place in the home where you prepare your meals. Proper sanitary practices in the kitchen will make you feel good both physically and mentally.
6. An unorganized drawer
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Everyone has at least one drawer that looks like a tornado hit it to the point that you can barely even open it due to the amount of clutter inside. Around 80% of Americans feel overwhelmed by clutter, with the average American spending 55 minutes per day searching for misplaced items. Misplacing items in a junk drawer is a widespread occurrence.
Ironically, some people leave the drawer a mess because it's the one place they feel that they don't have to be in control, but the reality is that it's a symptom of laziness and procrastination. Piles of kitchen tools that you rarely use can reveal just how disorganized your brain is. Cleaning it out might seem like too much right now, but if you did, your brain might feel a little relief.
7. No trash cans anywhere
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The absence of trash cans in someone's home can mean that they really don't have their lives well put together. You might see a shopping bag hanging off a drawer handle, but rarely will that bag be in a container. This completely ignores the system in place that makes a home functional.
Trash cans are a basic yet necessary part of managing a household's waste. Avoiding it suggests a reluctance to deal with the small and unglamorous moments of life. Chances are, this is also how they view the world. They avoid any negative parts that life has to offer and only want the good ones.
8. Unframed art on the walls
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Having unframed paintings or photos on a wall might seem like a quirk, but it is often rooted in a lack of attention to detail and a reluctance to commit to completing something. Observational research at The University of Texas at Austin suggests that the style of home decor can broadcast personality traits. A living space filled with casually hung, unframed prints may indicate a personality lacking responsibility, order, or commitment.
What makes this detail so telling is how easily it can be fixed and how often it is overlooked. Someone who avoids framing their art may also be dodging other adult responsibilities. Just because they are minor offenses doesn't make them any less impactful on how they handle dealing with adult situations. Of course, not everyone who tacks a Van Gogh print to their wall is spiraling, but when a home is filled with barren art, then it can suggest they aren't fully committed to making it a proper home for themselves.
9. Items that are still boxed up
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Moving into a new home can make your new sacred space feel cluttered by boxes and plastic-covered furniture, but if it's been months since you've moved in, then this clutter is something that you keep putting off. Keeping things boxed up could be a quiet way for a person to avoid any emotional or physical labor of starting a new life. What makes this worse is that clutter itself can darken your mood and make you more depressed.
Visual and mental overstimulation from clutter leads to impaired decision-making, increased emotional exhaustion, and reduced satisfaction in daily life. The more you put off unpacking and settling in, the more it will distract you from other important things in your life. It's time for people who do this to unpack their feelings figuratively and literally.
10. A messy closet
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It's important to note that a messy home can even ruin potential relationships from forming. However, a messy closet, in particular, can reflect a habit of postponing decisions. This lack of structure can bleed into other areas of your life and make you seem indecisive to others. That's why it's important for you to restructure and reorganize your closet by making choices on what to keep and what not to keep.
People who dodge responsibility tend to deal with problems only when they become unmanageable. In the middle of this chaos, they snap, and only then do they start to get themselves together. It's a last-minute effort to appear sane and responsible, but people can see right through it.
11. No cleaning supplies present in the home
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If you want to tell if someone Is avoiding real responsibilities at home, then look no further than the cleaning supply closet. If all they have is a small broom but no buckets, mops, or other cleaning supplies, then they don't really clean their home properly. This lack of basic upkeep tools shows a preference for short-term comforts over long-term responsibilities.
People who avoid stocking cleaning supplies are living on the edge. They are one spill away from it spiraling out of control into other messes. It also shows that they rely on others to pick up the slack, especially if they have roommates. This can be both a frustrating way to live and a risky way to live. Avoiding responsibilities is fine when you're young because nothing is expected of you, but when you become an adult, your life is nothing but responsibilities.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
