11 Things That Instantly Make People Feel Uncomfortable In Someone Else's Home
A good host goes above and beyond to make sure their guests are comfortable and at ease.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock When you're visiting someone's home for the first time, whether it's a long-time friend, family member, or acquaintance, there are certain expectations you may have for how you're welcomed. Being a guest in someone's home means you have this unspoken hope that you'll be treated with kindness and made to feel comfortable because that's what it means to be a host. You never want your guests to walk away at the end of the visit with no intention of ever coming back because they were made to feel like a burden.
People can be sensitive to their surroundings when they enter a new home, from odd odors to small details like a missing hand towel in the bathroom. For hosts, it's important that they pay attention to these details and steer clear of the things that instantly make people feel uncomfortable in someone else's home. What might seem insignificant can be a totally different for a visitor. It's not about perfection, but just having a bit of consideration for how other people might feel in your space.
Here are 11 things that instantly make people feel uncomfortable in someone else's home
1. Too much clutter
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The last thing you want to feel when you walk into someone's house is being overwhelmed with the amount of clutter that they may have lying around. Cluttered spaces are simply hard to navigate and leave an impression that the host didn't care enough to just tidy up or put things away for a couple of hours while they had visitors over.
Even if the clutter might be harmless, it can make the environment just feel less welcoming and that you're jumping through an obstacle course just to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Research has even shown that clutter can have a detrimental effect on a person's mental health and can even reduce their ability to focus.
2. Controversial or polarizing decor
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The decor that a host hangs up around their house can have a profound effect on the comfortability of their guests. Whether intentional or not, sometimes decorations and photos hung up around a space can make someone feel uneasy due to how personal, controversial, or even inappropriate they might be.
These expressions usually reflect the host's identity and values, and can sometimes put a guest on edge if the host holds different beliefs than they do. Instead of the home feeling like a neutral space, there might be certain unspoken expectations and judgements that a guest doesn't like or want to be a part of.
Environmental psychologist Sally Augustin explained, "An environment that's too stark is just as stressful as one that's got too much going on visually. Shoot for an interior with about the same number of colors, patterns, decorative items..."
3. No place to sit or set things down
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One of the ways a guest can feel comfortable in someone else's home is by having available seating and being able to hang or rest their belongings appropriately. When there's a lack of chairs, a crowded couch, or even a table full of clutter, it can immediately create a space of awkwardness. Guests may soon start to feel like they're imposing or that they don't belong in the space.
If a guest is made to squish themselves onto a chair or couch, it just leaves them feeling restless and unwelcome. People naturally just want to feel settled in another person's house, and if they don't feel accommodated, the urge to come back is rather small.
"There are many reasons why guests may or may not feel comfortable in your home. One that's often overlooked is how much control they have over their lives while they're visiting you... When we feel we have a comfortable level of control over our physical environment, we relax and our mood improves," Augustin pointed out.
4. Not being offered a drink or snack
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When you enter a person's home, the general rule of hospitality is to be offered something to drink or even eat. But when this doesn't happen, it quickly becomes one of the things that instantly make people feel uncomfortable in someone else's home. Guests start to feel unsure about how welcome they truly are.
Even if that person isn't particularly hungry or thirsty, the gesture of being asked says a lot about how the host wants that person to feel in their home. Research from the journal Nutrients found that guests expect to be offered a drink within eight minutes and a snack within ten minutes of arriving at someone's house.
It can also end up creating an awkward tension where a guest might not know whether or not it's even appropriate to ask for a glass of water or a bag of chips. It's just something to be considerate about when inviting someone over to your home. It doesn't have to be an elaborate offering either, but even the littlest of gestures can make someone feel satisfied enough with their visit.
5. The host constantly checking their phone
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There's nothing that can make a person feel uncomfortable quicker than being in someone's home and the host is too busy scrolling on their phone instead of conversing with the person that was invited over.
It can create an immediate feeling of disconnect, and people will take it as a sign that the host maybe doesn't even want them there because they're being ignored. Instead of actually enjoying the moment and having a meaningful interaction, guests can feel as if they're competing for the host's attention.
"Our personal technology use can become a bad habit. People enter a zone when they use their gadgets. Checking email or scrolling through Facebook can be intoxicating and disorienting," technology expert Nir Eyal explained.
For hosts to actually create an inviting experience, putting phones away during visits is often the first step. It doesn't mean you can't check your phone when you have someone over, but there has to be a balance.
You can't just spend the entire time someone is over looking at Instagram and TikTok videos. If you do, you'll quickly make your guest feel more than unwelcome.
6. Excessive pet hair on furniture
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There's nothing more annoying and uncomfortable than going over to someone's house and sitting in a chair full of cat or dog hair. Even for guests who like pets, having to constantly brush the fur from their clothes isn't ideal in the slightest, especially if they have somewhere to be afterward. It doesn't take much to lint roll or make an effort to lessen the pet hair that might be sitting on furniture.
KC Davis, a therapist and author, explained that providing a space for guests to sit, that isn't covered in pet hair, doesn't have to be extremely perfect but good enough. "As long as things are sanitary, people aren't going to remember what it looks like. They're going to remember the way that they felt and the time that they had while they were there," Davis said.
It can make a guest feel as if they have nowhere to sit and relax without being assaulted by an onslaught of pet hair. Even putting down a sheet on the couch or chairs can really help with the pet hair problem. It's these thoughtful preparations that can make a guest feel welcome in someone else's home because the host went out of their way to make sure they'd be comfortable.
7. A temperature that's too hot or too cold
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Temperature is one of the main things that instantly make people feel uncomfortable in someone else's home. If a home feels too hot, too stuffy, or excessively cold, it can greatly affect a guest's mood. No one wants to be shivering while eating dinner, or sweating while trying to watch the sport's game on the television.
Most of the time, many people would rather silently suffer than make it known that the temperature in the house is not working for them. It's best to directly ask guests if they're either too hot or too cold, or even just giving them the option of turning up the heat if they need to, or that they're welcome to switch the air conditioner off if the breeze gets too chilly.
8. No hand soap in the bathroom
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While it may seem like a small detail, having soap in the bathroom for your guests is extremely important. Washing your hands after using the bathroom is such a basic expectation, and when guests can't do that, they're left feeling uncomfortable and unsure of how to proceed.
The absence of soap can make a guest wonder how a host is taking care of their hygiene if they can't even have it stocked for extra people who come over to visit. Guests especially don't want to go digging through cabinets to find something, and may just end up rinsing their hands with water and exiting because they don't want to create an unnecessary kerfuffle.
Keeping hand soap and making sure it's stocked in the bathroom is about more than basic etiquette, but also helping your guests feel more at ease.
9. Dirty dishes in the sink
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A sink full of dirty dishes is one of the really gross things that instantly make people feel uncomfortable in someone else's home. It can create an instant feeling of discomfort for them, and they may even say something about it. And while it's more than normal to allow dishes to pile up, an unspoken rule about having guests over means washing everything in the sink so that the kitchen is prepared for company.
Unfortunately, a survey from OnePoll determined that people leave their dirty dishes in the sink on average for two whole days. And while that's fine if it's just you at home, if you're inviting people over to eat dinner, a cluttered sink means that guests are unsure where to put their dirty utensils and plates because there's no more space in the sink for them.
While no one expects a home to be spotless and clean to the touch, guests are more likely to feel relaxed when things have been over before their visit.
10. A bathroom mirror covered in toothpaste or water spots
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When the bathroom mirror is covered in toothpaste splatters, streaks, or water spots, it can leave the impression that the bathroom isn't being well cared for. Even if the space is otherwise functional, a dirty mirror can be slight that makes guests feel a tiny level of discomfort.
People will often use the bathroom mirror during visits to check their hair, makeup, or if they may have something in their teeth. If it's dirty, it can make that moment feel a bit unpleasant.
Guests will just avoid using the mirror altogether, which can affect the sense of ease they may feel in the home. Keeping a mirror clean doesn't even require having to do a deep cleaning either, but just a quick wipe with a cloth or glass cleaner, and it can make all the difference.
11. The host smoking indoors
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Few things can end up making a guest feel uneasy than walking into a home that reeks of cigarette smoke, or the host casually smoking a cigarette right in front of them instead of just taking it outside.
The lingering smell of cigarette smoke can cling to clothes and hair, leaving guests having to work extra to remove the smell when they get home. It can be especially bad for non-smokers or people with allergies, asthma, or other sensitivities as it can trigger physical discomfort or even health concerns that need attention immediately.
The best solution to be respectful to guests is to either take it outside or wait until they leave if you usually smoke inside your home. You just want to create a space where everyone feels comfortable, and good hosting means putting your guests' needs first.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
