11 Subtle Actions That Reveal A Lot About A Person's Personality
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they do particular things.
larisa Stefanjuk / Shutterstock Getting to know people is vital to building rapport and seeing who you align with on this life journey. It isn't easy to know who shares the same values as you without taking a deeper dive into their personality. Peeling back the layers to discover what's beneath the surface will reveal who they are to you. Once you get to know them, it will become apparent that you either vibe with them or naturally create distance.
Time is of the essence, and we all have a limited amount of it. It's impossible to get to know every person we meet on a deep level, but there are some subtle actions that reveal a whole lot about a person's personality.
Here are 11 subtle actions that reveal a lot about a person's personality
1. The way they treat other people
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How someone treats others is a key indicator in determining what type of personality they have. They may be seen in a professional environment, treating colleagues in a particular way, or in a social setting, interacting with waiters, cashiers, or other service providers. Observing how they act toward others will give you a window into who that person really is.
If they are kind, patient, and can give others grace, it is safe to say that you might be dealing with a great person. On the other hand, if they are disrespectful, demeaning, or dismissive, it's a clue that maybe you should steer clear. It's also important to consider motives to make sure their kindness is genuine and not performative to get what they want out of someone.
2. How they take criticism and feedback
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There are people out there who believe they are above reproach and that no one has the right to criticize them, no matter the circumstances. No one is perfect, and there is always room for improvement. How a person responds when receiving constructive criticism tells you how self-aware they are and how willing they are to learn and grow.
It's totally natural to be hurt or offended by harsh words. But those who can take the constructive part of the feedback and use it to make moves that make them a better person are the people who should be in your circle. People with a healthy mindset will not dwell on the negativity they feel. They will move on with their lives, intent on getting better and better.
3. How they deal with adversity
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There are so many ways that a person might deal with difficult times: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Their response is an automatic reaction to what they believe to be a dangerous situation or a threat to them. This survival mechanism prepares a person to confront the threat (fight), run away from the threat (flight), do nothing (freeze), or give in (fawn).
Whatever response a person chooses will let you know exactly what you can expect from them in tumultuous times. If you need a leader who will stand their ground and fight, even when it's hard, you might gravitate toward those who do just that. If you have an authoritative personality and want someone who goes along to get along, a fawn might be for you.
4. How honest they are
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One thing I cannot stand is a person who lies just to be lying. They are not doing it to escape harm or to protect themselves or someone they care about. They simply can't help lying. Then, some tell mistruths to further their own causes or to avoid accountability. They might place the blame for their actions on someone else, or misrepresent circumstances to get ahead or create discord.
Though excessive lying is rare, even a little white lie can tell you so much about a person's personality. It lets you know that they have no qualms about saying things that are not true if it benefits them. A dishonest person cannot be trusted because if they will lie to them, they will certainly lie to you.
5. How generous they are
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A person who understands how blessed they are and passes some of those blessings on to the less fortunate, without asking for anything in return, is a wonderful person. They understand that life is full of ups and downs and that money and resources ebb and flow, so they decide to pay their good fortunes forward.
Conversely, someone with the personality of Scrooge McDuck might covet their assets, hanging on for dear life. They might have a scarcity mindset, believing that there is not enough of anything to go around, so they need to guard their fortunes with their life. Stingy people definitely have a few personality flaws.
6. How consistent and reliable they are
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Who doesn't love a person who does exactly what they say they are going to do? When people are consistent and reliable, you can count on them to show up and do what they said they would. There is no doubt in your mind that that person will meet any deliverables that are agreed to.
A person who misses deadlines, ghosts you when you need them the most, or drops the ball in important matters is likely not someone you want to work with or align with on a personal level. They might have your emotions all over the place, unsure if they will be there when the need arises. Avoid them like the plague.
7. How well they listen
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Listening is a skill and everybody ain't got it. When talking with some people, your words will go in one ear and out the other. They heard nothing you said because they were listening with the intent of responding or rebutting, rather than trying to understand and acknowledge your viewpoint.
People who are emotionally intelligent listen without interrupting. They are present while others are speaking and try to show empathy by putting themselves in that person's shoes. Even when they disagree, they validate other people's experiences and remain respectful.
8. Whether or not they take accountability
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Accountability is one of the most valuable character traits that one can possess. The ability to admit you are wrong and work to correct your mistakes is high-level emotional intelligence. But for some, owning up to mistakes seems impossible. They will blame shift, avoid questions, provide vague answers, or make excuses... anything but take responsibility.
The gems in our society speak up and take ownership when they are wrong. They apologize easily and make amends by reversing any damage they may have done. It takes confidence in oneself, honesty, trust, and an abundance mindset to accept blame. A person has to know that it's okay to mess up and that they can rectify their error.
9. How they prioritize relationships
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Elevating yourself in life requires networking with people who can help move your goals and aspirations along. Building strong professional relationships and finding mentors who can advise and influence you is pivotal if you want to find success. But there also needs to be a balance. Relationships based on your professional pursuits should never supersede those with the people you love.
How a person prioritizes each type of relationship tells you everything you know about them. Do they care about work-life balance? Is family most important to them? Are they a social climber who will use people to get ahead in life? Those questions can be answered through simple observation.
10. How they respond to success
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Watching how a person deals with the success of others and their own can be a good indicator of what type of personality they have. When someone else achieves something, do they celebrate their wins or do they sulk in a puddle of jealousy and resentment? Those who can't stand to watch another be successful are self-absorbed and toxic.
Another way to better understand someone is to see how they react to their own success, power, and privilege. Are they authoritarian, with a habit of looking down on others and an expectation that people will bend to their will? Do they abuse the power they were given or use it to target people who have wronged them? Success reveals exactly who a person is.
11. How they deal with their emotions
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We all have a multitude of feelings and emotions all day, every day. There are things that will make you happy, sad, mad, or confused, and those states can happen in short succession. Having emotions is normal and necessary, but it's how we deal with them that tells other people what our personality is.
When we are angry, what words or actions do we choose? Are they productive, or do they further escalate the situation? Do we hurl insults or say things we don't mean? When we love someone, how do we treat them? Are we clingy? Avoidant? A person who can deal with their emotions healthily will look for solutions, keep a realistic perspective, and seek help when needed.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that delivers informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
