11 Things That Instantly Give Highly Intelligent People Secondhand Embarrassment
The smarter a person is, the harder it becomes to watch someone confidently get it all wrong.
Asier Romero | Shutterstock Highly intelligent people see the world through an analytical lens with such complexity and nuance that when someone displays performative intellect, they can spot it almost instantly. While it's certainly a gift, it also gives way to the many things that instantly give highly intelligent people secondhand embarrassment. Whether it's spreading misinformation or using words they don't understand, while some might call them snobby, it just means they're hyper-aware.
To the highly intellectual, these moments are a test between letting another person continue in their ignorance or telling them the truth. Should they tell them, they will risk a confrontation; if they keep it to themselves, they let the other person live in a false reality of sorts. And unfortunately, it's a struggle many intelligent people deal with in their everyday lives.
Here are 11 things that instantly give highly intelligent people secondhand embarrassment
1. Pretending to understand things they don't
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One of the quickest ways to trigger secondhand embarrassment in a highly intelligent person is for them to listen to someone who doesn't understand the topic they are talking about and feigning knowledge that often comes with misplaced confidence.
People who think they are intelligent but really are not will pretend to understand things they don't. What makes it painful to watch is that an intelligent person can feel the disconnect almost instantly. Being able to experience this secondhand embarrassment can actually be a sign that you are a good person.
A study published in PLOS One found that witnessing someone else's embarrassing situation activates the brain regions associated with empathy. So, if you are an intelligent person, you probably feel sorry for them because they likely just don't know any better.
2. Confidently sharing false information
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Everyone loves a good conspiracy theory, but the biggest cost of this is that you actually stop yourself from thinking critically. The idea of misinformation is to stop you from thinking for yourself. Everything has a cause and effect element to it, but the more you make up alternative theories, the further you get from truth.
For people who value evidence-based reasoning, this behavior can feel awkward and eccentric. And what makes it worse is that there is a performative aspect to it. In an age where social media rewards posturing more than accuracy, people will double down rather than admit they're wrong.
Intelligent people value curiosity but they want to keep it within the bounds of reality. They know that whatever they say will be picked apart, so they don't want to mislead or ruin their own credibility.
3. Misusing big words to sound smart
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Because they value clarity and precision in language, one of the biggest things that instantly give highly intelligent people secondhand embarrassment is misuse of complex words. According to a survey by Preply, nearly 3 in 5 individuals have used complex vocabulary in an effort to appear smarter, with 28% of people believing that it makes them appear insecure.
During most conversations, people would rather use language because it's authentic. Intelligent people want you to be yourself and feel comfortable in that. They don't want you to pretend to be smarter to try and fit in.
4. Faking deep conversations
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Faking a deep conversation can be an insult to the person you are trying to connect with because it makes your effort look superficial. It can also be misleading, because they may believe you are being genuine when they are only getting a glimpse of you on a surface level.
To intelligent people, this is insulting to their intelligence. However, there is a very bleak reason as to why people do this. As executive coach and speaker Ken Druck explained, it can be a fear of scrutiny or judgment that causes a person to avoid having deep conversations with certain people. You could be one of these people that intimidates them even when you're trying not to.
Druck also noted that people are rarely looking for solutions to their problems, and instead are looking for someone to empathize with them. So, while you might mean well, there is something internally they are struggling with — and that is not your problem to solve.
5. People oversimplifying complex topics
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Intelligent people get secondhand embarrassment when others oversimplify complex topics and situations. Watching someone confidently state an oversimplified viewpoint makes them fear for the society in which they live. They can't fathom how someone who came from the same education system can relay a viewpoint that minimizes the topic and leaves the most important contexts out.
Most oversimplification of complex topics has to do with a desire to control a narrative rather than have a discourse as to what led us historically to that point. This reduction flattens perspectives, erases critical context, and can lead to widespread misconceptions that are hard to undo once they've taken root.
Intelligent people know that as human beings we have a responsibility to teach each other the truth, rather than a fantasy that just makes us look good.
6. Trying to 'win' every conversation
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Intellectuals know that nothing good ever comes from trying to "win" an argument and that it takes incredible emotional strength to admit when you are wrong. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who show vulnerability like admitting their mistakes or feeling embarrassed enhance their social standing because they exhibit prosocial traits.
The need to dominate a conversation creates distance between people. When people stop being combative and start letting others in, they see that disarming themselves is actually the most powerful move. It makes you more approachable to others and humanizes you to the point where they can be vulnerable with you as well.
7. Performative intelligence
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When someone tries to pretend to be smart, whether it's by quoting philosophical scholars out of context or injecting obscure facts into casual conversations just to impress people, it's one of the many things that instantly give highly intelligent people secondhand embarrassment.
It can come off as forced, where true intelligence has humility behind it and should come naturally. What makes performative intelligence especially embarrassing is that it's transparent.
A study published in the journal Assessment found that people sometimes overstate or fake their emotional intelligence on self-reports, which acts as a form of performative intelligence. They present an inflated image of themselves rather than genuine ability, causing true intelligent people to think they are insincere and awkward.
RELATED: 5 Subtle Signs Someone Is Faking Their Intelligence
8. Overhyping mediocre achievements
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Overhyping mediocre achievements doesn't come naturally to intelligent people. They have a strong sense of discernment, so when it comes to celebrating something like mastering a basic task, it can trigger discomfort in them. They may see it as just a bid for validation which can be awkward to witness.
Perhaps it's their high expectations of themselves and others that causes this distress. Highly intelligent people often downplay their own accomplishments to avoid appearing arrogant. So, when someone who does something minor comes along and is celebrated for doing the bare minimum, it can be jarring for them.
It's not necessarily the fault of the other person as they were just inviting people to join in on the feedback. Maybe intelligent people should take this as a sign to open up more to celebrations and criticisms.
9. Not understanding satire or sarcasm
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Knowing how to spot sarcasm involves intelligence, and knowing the layers of how ironic exaggerations highlight the absurdities of this world. It's also easy to spot those who can decipher it and those who cannot. People who share sarcasm with legitimate rage expose that they lack critical thinking skills.
Sarcasm works in a similar way, where a sarcastic comment will be taken seriously when it really is meant to be a joke. Empathy often affects the recognition of sarcasm. A study published in the journal Perceptual and Motor Skills found that people with higher levels of empathy are better at detecting sarcasm. This means that emotional intelligence plays a major role in understanding the nuance of certain conversations.
10. Internet debates with zero sources
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Sometimes, true intellect requires you to know when to pick your battles. When getting into an argument with someone in-person, you can offer secondhand information and they may or may not accept it, but it wouldn't escalate further than that. However, when you can actually prove your sources, that's when things are up for debate.
It gets worse when these arguments enter online forums and escalate the more people get involved in discussing the topic. But when people don't have sources to back up their claims, it's one of the things that instantly give highly intelligent people secondhand embarrassment.
A study published by Scientific Reports found that online debates often become more toxic as they progress, with the average toxicity increasing with the number of comments and time. The loudest voices can drown out the most accurate ones because people love to either defend their team or attack the other side.
11. Using AI for the most basic tasks
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Artificial intelligence has immense potential to be something more, but the way we use it you would think something is wrong with humanity. We use it for the most mundane tasks like writing, brainstorming and, in the most extreme cases, letting it make decisions for us. Intelligent people see it as a slippery slope down a path of laziness for humanity.
According to research published in Smart learning Environments, students who heavily relied on AI dialogue systems exhibited a 68.9% increase in laziness and a 27.7% decline in decision-making abilities. Our over-reliance on AI tools has led to the deterioration of our cognitive abilities, particularly in an academic setting.
It undermines our ability to be self-sufficient and takes away what makes our species special, which is the ability to involve our emotions with our intellect.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
