The Art Of Goodness: 15 Subtle Signs You’re A Better Person Than You Realize
In a world filled with apathy, you care.
Simon Kessler | Unsplash It’s easy to doubt how good a person you are. Even with good intentions, if you are a person who usually tries to save everyone or constantly nurtures people, sets healthy boundaries, or simply says “no,” it might cause others to say things that make you question whether or not you are, in fact, a good person.
There are lots of ways that good people show us exactly who they are. But there are telltale signs to look out for, so you don’t feel doubtful when you decide to give yourself a little bit of attention and self-care.
Here are 15 subtle signs you’re a better person than you realize:
1. You're honest and transparent
If you’re the type of person who always says what’s on your mind and says what the truth is right in front of you, regardless of what it makes a person feel, you are honest, transparent, and a much better person than you might suspect you are. Being upfront and genuine is one of the hallmarks of establishing healthy relationships.
When you consistently speak your truth, even when it's uncomfortable or unpopular, you're demonstrating a rare kind of integrity that many people struggle to maintain. People who embody this quality create an atmosphere of trust wherever they go because others know exactly where they stand.
2. You're polite and respectful
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The second sign you are a really good person is in how you treat people. If you tend to lead with kindness, empathy, and understanding, you are leaps and bounds ahead of the emotionally bankrupt people moving through society.
According to Jan Bowen, a personal development coach, kindness is simply being friendly, generous, and considerate. Bowen explains that truly kind people respect personal boundaries while supporting and celebrating what serves others' higher good, and they thrive on diversity without expecting others to share their opinions.
3. You're complimentary toward others
When someone does something that is deserving of kudos, you are quick to applaud them. You aren't one of those people who see a win for another person as a loss for you.
You regularly congratulate people in person and even on social media when they share their good news or accomplishments. Good people want the best for everyone, not just themselves.
4. You take accountability
Everyone makes mistakes, but you are quick to admit wrongdoing and take responsibility for your actions. People who can own up to their mistakes and take accountability for their actions are magnetic, and others know they can count on them.
Dr. Stan Tatkin, a clinician and researcher, argues that secure functioning in relationships is based on sensitivity, fairness, trust, and mutual respect. Everyone makes mistakes, but those who can quickly take responsibility for their actions demonstrate the kind of emotional maturity that builds trust and makes them reliable partners, friends, and colleagues.
5. You're trustworthy
When you are found to be untrustworthy, regaining trust takes a lot of intentional action, and things will still never be the same. People who are considered good don’t violate the vulnerabilities of others in the first place. Being someone that others can trust is a good attribute to have.
When trust is violated, studies using economic trust games have found that while apologies can help repair trust and improve perceptions of trustworthiness, trust is not fully restored. Research also reveals that trust violations due to intentional choices are significantly harder to repair than those caused by unintentional errors.
6. You're wise and use what you have learned
It’s not enough to learn life’s lessons. You have to put what you have been taught into action. The ability to move on from mistakes and grow as a person is usually attributed to old souls who are, by nature, good people. They know how to move through life thoughtfully and deliberately.
Failure is necessary for learning and growth, argues personal development coach Sharon Coldwell. She goes on to explain that we learn far more from our missteps than any successes, and the trick is being able to step back from the mess and find the lesson.
7. You show gratitude
When we are grateful, we tell the universe we are open to receiving even more blessings. Good people show gratitude when wonderful things are bestowed on them. They know that a simple act of appreciation can shift the energy in any room.
Beyond personal benefits, gratitude has powerful social effects by enabling individuals to feel socially valued, motivating them to assist both the person who expressed gratitude and even strangers. Studies on couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward them, but also felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship.
8. You're kind and empathetic
People with empathetic personalities are intrinsically good. They can selflessly see beyond the flaws of others. You don’t prejudge and give people the benefit of the doubt, knowing that you can’t judge a book by its cover.
Marriage and family therapist Kim Egel notes that empaths have a higher sensitivity to outside stimuli and can understand emotions beyond just feeling them. She goes on to explain that they can actually identify what both they and someone else are experiencing.
9. You exude positivity
If you are a good person, you know how energy flows between us, our environments, and other people. You strive to bring positive vibes with you and leave every person and place you encounter much better than you found it.
Research has shown that susceptibility to positive emotional contagion is linked to enhanced interpersonal functioning and prosocial tendencies. Happiness spreads through social networks, reaching out to three degrees of separation, with each additional happy friend increasing a person's probability of being happy by about nine percent.
10. You're a giver
Far from greedy, you love to share your gifts and resources with anyone in need. You aren't the type to covet information, and you lift others as you climb. The best people are successful because they know all too well that it’s not always about them.
Focusing on small, personal acts of generosity can dramatically improve relationship satisfaction, with The National Marriage Project reporting that couples who reach out this way are far more likely to describe themselves as "very happy" in their marriage, explained marriage counselor Jean Fitzpatrick. Truly successful people focus on connection over profit, which strengthens their professional success, proving that real achievement comes from lifting others up rather than just climbing higher themselves.
11. You know how to get over it
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Good people don’t hold on to grudges or misdeeds. They are quick to forgive and move on with their lives. Even when they are wrong, they take accountability, do what they can to make it right, and keep it moving, understanding that a guilt complex serves no one.
When someone wrongs you, you feel the sting, process it, and then consciously choose not to carry it forward into tomorrow. This emotional maturity means you're free to keep growing, learning, and showing up as your best self without the heavy baggage that drags so many people down.
12. You are who you are
When you are a good person, you are always that, no matter who is watching. You treat everyone the same in public as you would in private and stay away from two-faced behavior like gossiping and disclosing the personal business of others. You show people who you are, and they can believe you because you don’t switch up based on the audience.
Psychologist Dr. Cortney Warren explained that to be authentic means your thoughts, words, feelings, and actions should match. People with true integrity demonstrate trustworthiness by doing what's right even if no one is watching, and they remain genuine in everything they do.
13. You're patient
You know that whatever is meant to be, will be, and it will happen at the right time. Good people know that we are all working in coordination with each other and the universe, and that just because you want something to happen now, doesn’t mean it should.
Knowing how to wait your turn is a clear indicator that you are considerate and a better person than you thought. Good people know that we are all working in coordination with each other and the universe, and that just because you want something to happen now, doesn't mean it should. Your patience creates a calm presence that others can feel, making you someone people turn to when they need a steady, understanding voice in chaotic times.
14. You show support
If you are truly good, you support others in their times of need. It doesn’t have to be a life-saving effort. It could be a word of encouragement that inspires someone to embrace the challenges they are facing. Spending time helping others is something you do for your own fulfillment, expecting nothing in return.
Dr. Michael W. Regier explains that experts have found that giving and receiving compassion makes people happier by decreasing stress levels while helping us shift our perspective away from our own struggles. Truly selfless people genuinely enjoy using their free time, money, empathy, and compassion to give back to those in need, and being selfless doesn't require massive gestures.
15. You have humility
Good people are not braggadocious. They understand their own power and talents but don’t feel the need to walk around like a billboard, telling everyone about all of their accomplishments. When they do tout their achievements, it’s with the intention of inspiring and informing.
True humility means you can celebrate your wins without diminishing others or constantly seeking validation. Your humility creates space for others to shine, which paradoxically often makes your own light shine even brighter.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
