If Someone Can't Relax On A Weekend, They Usually Have These 11 Deep Reasons

While stress, anxiety, and other mental health struggles often make relaxation much more difficult on a daily basis, according to psychotherapist F. Diane Barth, some people are only grappling with guilt around rest. They feel a pressure — whether it’s from friends, work, or society at large — to be productive and available all the time, even if their bodies and minds are desperately yearning for slow idleness.

If someone can’t relax on a weekend, they usually have these deep reasons, but that doesn’t mean it’s sustainable to keep overscheduling themselves and avoiding relaxation. Rest is an investment, and without it, every other part of your life becomes more challenging — from relationships to work and even personal emotional well-being.

If someone can’t relax on a weekend, they usually have these 11 deep reasons

1. Their self-worth is tied to their job

stressed man whose self-worth is tied to his job PeopleImages | Shutterstock

If someone’s self-worth is wrapped up in their career, chances are they’re more likely to work at home, go into the office on weekends, and avoid rest to work overtime. If they fall behind on work or make a mistake in the office, it’s deeper than simply learning and moving forward — it’s a hit to their self-esteem in every part of life.

If someone can’t relax on a weekend, they usually have these deep reasons. While overcoming them and setting boundaries with work can be a struggle, reconnecting with individuality, hobbies, and a personal routine adds value to every aspect of life.

2. Their parents used to guilt them for resting

tired woman working late aslysun | Shutterstock

If an adult grew up with parents who made them feel guilty for sleeping in on weekends or taking a nap after school, chances are that burnout has become second nature. They feel a deep sense of unease and frustration when they’re resting, even if it’s exactly what they need to return to their social and professional lives energized.

Even though they’ve been taught to push off rest by their parents and childhood experiences, the truth is that rest isn’t something to negotiate. As Harvard psychiatrist Marlynn Wei explains, rest shouldn’t be framed as a “waste” of time and definitely shouldn’t only be a priority when you’re on the brink of exhaustion.

Whether it’s after work or on a weekend, carve out space for yourself. Lie on the couch for a few hours, read a book in bed into the late morning, or cancel social plans to rest. Self-care is rest, and they’re both incredibly important.

3. They fear their own company

anxious man who fears his own company TetianaKtv | Shutterstock

Some people would rather be shocked, according to a study from social psychologist Timothy Wilson, than spend time with their own thoughts. They don’t have the emotional regulation skills to deal with discomfort, and they largely struggle to lean into solitude with an optimistic, relaxed mind.

If someone can’t relax on a weekend, they usually have these deep reasons — they struggle to be left alone, without distractions or conversations, to avoid true loneliness.

4. They find stillness and quietness to be uncomfortable

woman channel surfing because she finds stillness and quietness to be uncomfortable Lysenko Andrii | Shutterstock

Similar to people who fear their own mind and alone time, someone who finds stillness or quietness difficult to prioritize may struggle to relax on a weekend. Especially in our society defined by constant productivity and stimulation, it’s not surprising that this kind of idleness is hard for the average person, at least according to psychologist Michele Leno.

If someone can’t relax on a weekend, they usually have these deep reasons. They’re always seeking out the next social plan, distraction, or stimulation to ease their racing thoughts, and alone time or rest feels impossible. However, our brains are wired toward idleness for a reason — we need this kind of full body and mind rest to show up as our best selves.

5. They have a fear of missing out

woman who has a fear of missing out looking at her phone DimaBerlin | Shutterstock

Feelings of social inferiority, loneliness, and isolation are all typically associated with the fear of missing out, according to a study from the World Journal of Clinical Cases. Especially for people who spend a lot of time on social media or who interweave their self-worth with external validation, “FOMO” may follow them throughout life and primarily inform their decisions.

Even after a long, chaotic week, when their bodies are begging for a break, they overschedule themselves to avoid feeling the discomfort of “FOMO.” They want to feel secure alongside external validation and social connection, oftentimes at the expense of their own inner peace and rest.

6. They need external validation to feel secure

woman talking to friend seeking external validation to feel secure Fit Ztudio | Shutterstock

Many people who seek out external validation are driven by a deep sense of insecurity. They don’t have the skills or self-assuredness to gratify themselves throughout life, so they lean on other people and social interactions for a sense of security through validation and acceptance.

Of course, we often naturally yearn for this kind of acceptance and belonging as humans, but overlooking basic necessities — like rest, internal security, and emotional intelligence — to seek it out can be detrimental to well-being. If someone can’t relax on a weekend, they usually have these deep reasons, and they can’t relax and unwind unless they feel secure from validation.

7. They worry about wasting time

woman on phone worried about wasting time fizkes | Shutterstock

Especially for aging individuals, who struggle more with the passage of time than they did just a few years earlier, a fear of wasting time may keep them from prioritizing rest. They feel pressure to make the most of every moment, even if it pushes them into a fatigued and exhausted state where they stop enjoying and appreciating things.

If someone can’t relax on a weekend, they may be grappling with these deep reasons. They want to make a million plans and spend most of their time outside, even if it means missing out on the space for rest that this break from work tends to provide.

8. They’re stuck in fight or flight mode

stressed woman working while stuck in fight or flight mode fizkes | Shutterstock

Whether it’s charged by anxiety or chronic stress, if someone’s nervous system is stuck in a survival mode, they’re less likely to find space to rest and relax in their everyday lives. Small rituals like taking a nap or even doing the chores feel impossible in this state, so they rely on mindless entertainment and draining superficial connections to avoid dealing with their deep, complex emotions.

Their emotional turmoil is too hefty and overwhelming to address, and without coping mechanisms that prioritize rest, they live stuck in a cycle of exhaustion and survival.

9. They were parentified from a young age

stressed man who was parentified from a young age sitting at home InesBazdar | Shutterstock

If someone felt the need to grow up quickly as a child or held a lot of responsibilities at home growing up, chances of slowing down and carving out space for self-love or rest feel impossible as an adult. They’ve been taught to constantly be productive, even at the expense of their own well-being, to help others, and now, they aren’t sure how to do things for themselves.

Whether it’s people-pleasing or a “survival mode” they’ve never outgrown, if someone can’t relax on the weekend, they usually have these deep reasons. The emotional turmoil they’re still stuck in as a result of this childhood trauma makes alone time or solitude with their thoughts scary, rather than restful.

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10. They don’t trust themselves

stressed woman who doesn't trust herself pathdoc | Shutterstock

Struggling with inner trust can often make it hard for an individual to spend time alone, appreciate solitude, and make space for rest. If their body is uncomfortable in the face of silence and struggles to feel grounded in passing moments, alone time and rest feel like a personal attack to be afraid of.

While there are many different types of rest a person needs to feel healthy and grounded, it’s this kind of emotional inner peace, prompted by self-trust and sheer love, that follows a person amid their everyday schedule.

11. They feel disconnected from little joys

anxious woman who feels disconnected from little joys sitting alone mojo cp | Shutterstock

If someone is living in a spiral of mental health struggles or inner turmoil in their lives, they may feel disconnected from the little joys that add meaning to their lives. They don’t appreciate Friday nights relaxing at home or even small breaks in the day to rest on the couch — they’re too caught up in the “survival” of it all to make space for them.

What lies at the heart of appreciating little moments and joy? Rest. If you can’t make space for rest to regulate your nervous system, energize your body, and boost your mood, you’ll be locked in a rigid daily schedule and forever away from your “dream life.”

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.