12 Sly Ways To Know If Someone Is Showing You Their True Colors
You never really know someone until you really observe their behaviors.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock You can know someone for years and never really know them. Sometimes it takes a lot for someone to show their true colors, as uncovering someone's true personality is not as easy as it seems. Because, when it comes down to it, our personalities are far more complex than what we show on the surface.
If you can be aware of someone's true colors earlier on, you can assess how and where that person fits into your life. Luckily, there are a few sly ways to know if someone is showing you their true colors, which can help you avoid the pain of thinking you know someone for years and eventually finding out it's not true.
Here are 12 sly ways to know if someone is showing you their true colors
1. See how they treat people around them
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Actions and behaviors towards others reveal more about a person's empathy, respect, and compassion than words alone ever could. Genuine kindness and consideration towards others often indicate a person's inherent values and integrity, reflecting their authentic self.
The saying goes that you can learn a lot about a person from the way they treat those who wait on them. So how do they treat servers? Their parents? Friends? Pay close attention to their behavior in every social setting.
2. Argue with them
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How long can someone hide their true colors? Well, engaging in an argument with them can offer valuable glimpses into their authentic nature. How a person argues, whether they resort to respectful discussion or employ aggressive tactics, reflects their communication style and emotional intelligence.
Those who approach arguments with empathy and openness to differing viewpoints demonstrate maturity and willingness to learn. According to empathy researcher and psychologist Jamil Zaki, "Empathy is our ability to share and understand one another's feelings — a psychological 'superglue' that connects people and undergirds co-operation and kindness."
On the other hand, those who resort to personal attacks or manipulation may reveal underlying insecurities or a lack of respect for others' perspectives. So, how someone navigates disagreements can unveil important aspects of their character and interpersonal skills.
3. Observe their relationship with their partner
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One of the very sly ways to know if someone is showing you their true colors is observing the way they interact with their partner. This is because a person's behavior in a romantic relationship reflects their ability to communicate, compromise, and show empathy.
Those who treat their partners with love, respect, and support demonstrate emotional maturity and a capacity for healthy connections. But patterns of manipulation or disrespect may indicate underlying issues or an inability to maintain a healthy partnership.
4. Say no
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Those who respond with grace and understanding to being told "no" show emotional maturity and respect for boundaries. However, those who react negatively or aggressively may struggle with handling rejection and might display a lack of emotional control.
A person's ability to accept "no" gracefully can demonstrate their resilience and capacity for healthy relationships, as it indicates their respect for others' autonomy and willingness to navigate difficult situations with composure.
As media psychologist and workplace consultant Judith Sills points out, "The ability to say no is an essential element of one's moral compass. Without it, we are merely agreeable pleasers, the Pillsbury doughboys of morals and values. Whatever the cost or quake involved when you deliver a no, backbone is defined by your ability to say it."
5. Pull away and see how they react
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For people curious about how long someone can hide their true colors, this is a great litmus test. When you pull away from them, if they respond with concern, empathy, and a genuine effort to understand and reconnect, it may indicate a commitment to the relationship's well-being.
But if they react with avoidance or manipulation, it might suggest an unwillingness to address issues openly. How someone reacts to distance in a relationship can reveal their level of commitment, communication skills, and willingness to work through challenges.
6. Ask their opinion about a person they dislike
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If a person expresses their dislike with empathy when you ask their opinion about someone they may not get along with, focusing on specific behaviors or actions rather than resorting to personal attacks, it means they are able to handle conflicts constructively.
But if they exhibit intense negativity or avoid rational explanations, it might suggest a tendency towards judgmental attitudes or unresolved personal issues. As counselor Dhruva Koranne explained, "For some people, judging others is a way to feel better about themselves. When they criticize someone, it gives them a feeling of superiority, which in turn might boost their ego."
So, the way in which someone expresses their feelings about others reveals their capacity for empathy and exposes their true nature.
7. See how your dog reacts to them
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Animals are very perceptive to people's personalities, so one of the sly ways to know if someone is showing you their true colors is how your dog reacts to them. Dogs are known for their ability to sense emotions and pick up on subtle cues from people, after all.
If your dog responds positively to someone, wagging their tail, seeking attention, and seeming comfortable with them, it could indicate that the person emits positive energy and is likely kind-hearted. But if your dog shows signs of fear, aggression, or avoidance around that person, it might be an indication that the person's behavior or energy is unsettling.
8. Observe how they gossip
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If someone engages in gossip frequently, it can be a revealing aspect of their character. Gossiping may indicate a lack of respect for privacy and boundaries. Additionally, habitual gossipers might have difficulty establishing trustworthy relationships, as others may become wary of sharing personal information with them.
Gossiping can also reflect a negative or toxic mindset, as it often involves focusing on the faults or misfortunes of others rather than uplifting and supporting them. Those who regularly engage in gossip might struggle with empathy and may not be capable of maintaining confidential or healthy relationships.
9. Pay attention to how generous they are
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How someone gives and shares, whether it's their time, resources, or kindness, speaks volumes about their empathy and selflessness, and can unknowingly show their true colors. Generous individuals often display a strong sense of compassion, showing a genuine concern for the well-being of others.
Their willingness to help and support without expecting anything in return showcases a depth of character rooted in kindness, and a desire to make a positive impact on the lives of those around them. Generosity also comes with great health benefits. According to psychiatrist Kelli Harding, "It boosts mood, self-esteem, and our immune system. It also reduces stress, anxiety, and blood pressure. The associated feel-good chemicals can help reduce aches and pains and help us sleep better, too."
10. Think about whether or not they are reliable
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A reliable person is someone who consistently follows through on their commitments, keeps their promises, and can be counted on in various situations. Reliability showcases traits such as responsibility, integrity, and trustworthiness.
People who demonstrate reliability are more likely to prioritize their obligations, show up when needed, and be dependable in both personal and professional settings. If you can rely on this person and count on them to follow through, it's a good indicator of who they truly are.
11. See how often they think before they speak
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Taking a moment to consider their words before speaking shows respect for others' feelings and an understanding of the potential impact of their speech. It also reflects a level of maturity, as individuals who think before speaking are more likely to engage in constructive dialogue and avoid impulsive or hurtful remarks.
This ultimately fosters healthier and more meaningful relationships with others. And it speaks volumes about the level of respect and empathy a person shows.
12. Observe their reactions to other people's success
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One of the other sly ways to know if someone is showing you their true colors is the way they respond to the success of others. Genuine happiness and support for others' achievements demonstrates a secure and confident individual who celebrates the accomplishments of those around them. Such a person likely possesses qualities like humility, empathy, and a lack of jealousy.
If someone reacts with envy, bitterness, or attempts to undermine others' success, it may indicate insecurity, a competitive mindset, or a lack of self-esteem. How a person handles other people's achievements shows their level of emotional maturity and ability to foster positive relationships with those in their social circle.
Abby Jamison is a freelance writer and contributor to YourTango. Her work has been featured in Book Riot, The Bradford Era, and Unwritten, among others.
