The Art Of Self-Worth: 11 Simple Habits Of People Who Don’t Need Anyone To Confirm Their Greatness
People who radiate true confidence don't chase praise.
Oneinchpunch | Canva Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Are you continually seeking outside validation or opinions? It's time to learn how to break out of the grip of comparison culture and find validation and self-worth from within instead. We are all in different parts of our journey. We all started from other places. Your inherent greatness is yours and yours alone.
Here are 11 simple habits of people who don’t need anyone to confirm their greatness:
1. Accept that we're all apples and oranges
Comparing yourself to others only distracts you from yourself and your purpose. Only compare yourself to where you were, not to anyone else!
When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, put the focus back on yourself and look inward. You can use others as a reference point or to help spark ideas, but be vigilant that you aren't comparing yourself to others or seeking their validation.
- What would you like to strive for?
- What do you have as motivation?
Beating yourself up because you aren't where someone else is right now won't help. In fact, this will only slow down your progress.
"There’s pretty much only one way to achieve your dreams," psychologist Judith Tutin pointed out, and that’s to move toward them. Whether it’s the relationship you desire, a more fulfilling career, or that side-hustle you think could turn into something big, you must sacrifice comfort to give it a shot."
2. Step off the comparison treadmill
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You can only see others through your perspective. From the outside, everything may seem great for another person. But in reality, they may be in a worse place than you realize.
Comparing yourself to others is a distraction to justify not moving forward because going forward can be scary. Sometimes, we do anything we can subconsciously to justify staying stuck. When you're stuck, you don't have the fear of something new, but you also never have the joy and reward of moving forward.
3. Lean into the fear instead of backing away
Someone who is stuck can never create a better life for themselves. There will always be some fear involved when moving forward, but it's important to push through the fear toward your goals.
Life coach Stephanie Lazzara recommended to "coach yourself into action. Practice being bold and asking for what you want in small ways. If this feels too scary in the work or relationship area, try it at the store, or when asking for a service. Work at not defaulting to what others want or what you think may please someone else."
So look deep inside, and be sure you aren't subconsciously justifying staying stuck. It could manifest as, "I could never be like her, why even try?" Or, "She did that so well I couldn't do that well, so why bother?"
4. Avoid the trap of needing validation
You can never find yourself fully if you are basing your self-assurance on what others do. At the soul level, we are all so different. This is a beautiful thing! If we were all the same, how boring would that be?
Often, the cause of comparing and looking to others for validation is a lack of knowing yourself. When you don't know yourself or are insecure, you don't trust your own validation. You can change that by focusing on what you do like about yourself. You have a lot of wonderful qualities — don't hide them!
5. Do the work
Start actively working on the things you aren't happy about. We are always a work in progress and can always become who we want to be with action and effort. So, instead of comparing and beating yourself down, work on those things! Just doing that will give you a greater sense of control and confidence.
"Challenge, struggle, pain, and negative thoughts are a part of our human experience," wellness coach Anna McKinlay reminded. "When you try to eliminate these from your life, you risk missing out on a life of purpose, accomplishment, and meaning. Instead, you can look for ways to broaden your emotional diet, and make day-to-day choices that allow you a sense of accomplishment, connection with others, activities that give you a sense of engagement, or that bring more meaning into your life."
6. Let go of what you can't change
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Try not to focus too much on physical aspects. Yes, you want to be healthy and do what's in your control to make you feel and look good. But don't get down on yourself about things you can't change about your appearance. We are only in the physical body for a short amount of time. We have our soul forever — that's what's important.
Focus on what you can change and let go of what you can't. Looking for validation from others will only bring you farther from yourself. For example, if an apple seeks validation from an orange, the orange may tell the apple, "You are too green and need to be more orange!"
So, the apple fights and tries and does anything it can to turn orange. As the apple tries to become orange, it is becoming less and less of its true self. At the soul level, the apple is an apple and needs to be proud because becoming more like an orange only takes the apple off of its own path.
7. Be a rare bird
Be more of you, not someone else. Our ego can also get in the way sometimes. Look deep and find out why it matters so much to you to be like others or compare yourself to them.
In the end, none of that matters. You are here on earth to express yourself. Be you and let go of that need for outside validation — don't let it have power over you. It's all from a different perspective and doesn't really count when it boils down to it, anyway.
Spiritual coach Helen Jane Rose explained that, "We might be in denial about how we really feel, but it doesn't mean the emotions aren't there and that the hurt isn't still affecting us. Be brave and tell someone close to you something that's happened to you that you haven't spoken about before, that you know deep down you feel sad or angry about. Get it out. Be authentic."
8. Get in tune with yourself
Your perspective is what matters! Get more in tune with yourself and what you want! The more you are focused and working on yourself, the less you will care about or seek validation from the outside.
We all have different goals to accomplish and different reasons why. Only you can work towards them in your own way. The key is knowing who you are. It can be tricky for those who may have been led astray from themselves for a while.
9. Let time run its course
It's never too late to find yourself. Start by erasing other people's opinions and focus deeper on what you feel without outside influence getting in the way. When you get validation from others but don't believe it yourself, do you downplay it to them?
Do you say, "Thank you, but no, I did horribly"? Looking for validation outside yourself, even if you do get it, is not going to change the way you feel. It may be nice to hear, but what's most important is for you to believe it yourself. If you don't believe it, it won't matter anyway!
10. Applaud the baby steps
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Only compare yourself to your past self, and celebrate your progress. Work on comparing yourself to where you were six months or two years ago. See your progress only, no one else's. Others may have accomplished what you want to accomplish, but they may have taken many lives to get there.
Most of us are way harder on ourselves than we would be on someone else. It's important to start focusing on all your accomplishments and not the so-called fails. A fail is never a fail. It becomes a lesson of what to do better next time. Those lessons are so important in our growth.
Akshad Singi, M.D., explained, "You should not be worried that you’re failing. Instead, you should congratulate yourself — you’re doing something new. You’re growing. In fact, if you haven’t failed at anything in the past few months, you need to take a good, hard look at yourself."
11. Stay in the flow
Don't be so hard on yourself — learn and move on! When you stay stuck on past "fails," it prevents you from moving forward and just creates more roadblocks.
Let it go and work on doing better next time. Don't allow your identity to be caught up in outside circumstances. Your identity is your soul, let that shine! So, forget about what others think and really center on yourself. You are living and creating your life, so how you feel is what matters.
You are here on Earth to experience yourself as an individual. Be the best you that you can be, and let go of attachment to what others think!
Kristine Carlson is a psychic medium, advanced soul-realignment practitioner, life coach, and author.
