11 Signs The Universe Is Removing Someone From Your Life On Purpose
The universe has a way of nudging along people who don't belong in your life anymore.
Giama22 / Shutterstock For every relationship we form in life, it's disheartening when it dissolves and becomes no more. Whether it's some dramatic fall-out that ends with you and that person no longer talking, distance growing between the two of you, or the connection that you formed no longer feels the same as it once was, these changes aren't always a coincidence, nor does it boil down to miscommunication. There are cases where a relationship, whether platonic, professional, romantic, or family, indicates that something deeper is happening in your life's path.
The universe has a funny way of opening doors and then abruptly closing them when that path is no longer serving you. The same can be said for people. As we continue to grow and become more comfortable with ourselves, the universe can sometimes nudge people out of our lives who were only meant to be there for a season and not forever. As painful as it can be to lose someone with whom you once had good moments, it just means better is on the horizon.
Here are 11 signs the universe is removing someone from your life on purpose
1. There's constant miscommunication
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It can feel like no matter how much you're trying to express yourself and reach out to someone in your life, the two of you can never seem to get on the same page. Even the simplest conversations can turn into some kind of friction. You find yourself constantly having to explain that you didn't mean it "like that" and having to go back to your original point to no avail.
Licensed social worker Amy Morin pointed out that there are many impacts that misinterpretation during communication can have on a relationship. Some of those things included conflict always escalating, trust being broken between two people, and even emotional distance ensuing.
These repeated points of contention can be quite exhausting, and they sometimes have nothing to do with you or the other person's communication skills. In many cases, it's on a more spiritual level. The universe is trying to intervene because this relationship is no longer in your best interest. Things getting lost in translation can be a sign to take a step back and reevaluate whether or not the constant miscommunication is something you want to work through.
2. You feel drained after interacting with them
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There's a stark difference between coming home from hanging out with friends and being tired but still filled with joy from spending time with the people you love, and coming home from hanging out with someone and just feeling emotionally drained and exhausted. It's not like your social battery is on empty, but your mood has dipped significantly, and your energy levels are just too heavy. It's as if you need to recover just from being around that person.
Psychotherapist Kyle Davies explained that when a person is repeatedly engaging in relationships with others where they are the "emotional sponge, absorbing, fixing, listening, or smoothing things over," it ends up taking a toll. He pointed out that it doesn't mean the other person is necessarily bad, but it's always worth noting when these relationships feel one-sided.
Being around people that you care about and spending time with them shouldn't ever leave you feeling depleted in any way. It can be hard to realize that this is usually a sign from the universe that your nervous system isn't quite regulated around them. It's important to really pay attention to your energy because it's usually the biggest clue about the next steps you should be taking.
3. They no longer support your growth
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The most telling sign that the universe can show you about someone's true colors and how much they don't belong in your life is when you start noticing how they no longer are supportive of the path you're on. You might notice that when you're talking about your goals and passions with them, they just seem completely uninterested. They don't cheer you on anymore, and instead of the usual encouragement that you may have once gotten from them and that you get from others in your life, you receive a bit of silence and even resistance.
Clinical psychologist Melanie McNally pointed out that having a support system by your side is extremely important. "Being around others means getting emotional support so you’ll no longer feel alone in your struggles, have others to validate your feelings and perspective, and who can encourage you to take positive action."
This lack of support can lead to you starting to shrink yourself around them, mainly because they're actively trying to downplay your successes right in front of you. Relationships that are meant to last mean that you feel like they have your back and want to see you do well in life. They're constantly urging you to chase your dreams and are even there to pick you up when the going gets tough.
4. You find yourself pretending around them
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Having to pretend around someone is usually a sign that the connection you once shared is no longer aligned if you find yourself having to filter your words because you don't want to upset them, toning down your personality and traits just to make them feel comfortable, or choosing to avoid sharing your opinions about certain topics because you feel like you need to walk on eggshells.
Digital health expert Bruce Y. Lee explained that shrinking yourself around people just means you're wasting time being in the wrong company. "Why waste your time around such people? In fact, being your true self can be a great litmus test to determine who deserves the real you. If they end up being too intimidated, then it's probably not a good match."
That only ends up doing you a disservice because you should be allowed to be your most authentic self around the people in your life. Having to pretend just ends up chipping away at your sense of self, and it's not long before you're starting to question whether you're putting on this mask just to hang out with that person. The truth is, the universe is never asking you to make yourself small for someone else, but showing you that you aren't in a relationship with someone that's allowing you to feel seen and accepted.
5. You start becoming more protective of your peace
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At some point, you start to realize that jeopardizing your peace is something you just don't want to do anymore. You no longer feel obligated to shrink yourself or be around someone who isn't supporting your growth, either. Instead of trying to fix the relationship and continue having this person in your life, you've realized that your peace is the most important thing, and you just no longer want to subject yourself to this distance that's growing between you and this person.
"You don’t have to become someone you’re not," encouraged psychotherapist Tonya Lester about protecting your peace. "You just have to become more of who you are—less filtered, less edited, and less invested in being palatable. You are allowed to say no. To take up space. To stop checking everyone else's ropes and double-check your own."
When the universe is trying to send you signs to remove someone from your life, you'll start to notice that your tolerance is slowly lessening. You're starting to listen to your gut, and it means you're no longer allowing yourself to be available for relationships that are just chaotic and unpredictable. You simply have zero time to deal with the drama and theatrics of it all anymore.
6. You keep getting hurt
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When the universe is trying its hardest to remove someone from your life who has no place being there anymore, it might hurt more than usual. Whether it's a subtle kind of hurt or more overt, it can all be just as painful. When spending time with this person, you might realize that it seems as if they're actively trying to hurt your feelings. They may do things like give backhanded compliments, always dismiss your feelings, especially if you're trying to pull them up on the comments they've made, and just these repeated patterns of betrayal.
Being constantly hurt by someone should not just be something you put up with. The universe may be setting you up to get hurt, but it's only so that you can actually see that you deserve to feel respected and cared for by the people you surround yourself with.
There's definitely power in being able to let go of things and people that are no longer serving you, at least according to psychotherapist Kathy McCoy. "Letting go of unrealistic expectations and setting reasonable boundaries in troubled relationships may help you to resolve major differences and avoid total estrangement. And letting go of anger and blame can free you to feel hope and joy as you move on."
7. You feel obligated to see them
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When a relationship ends up feeling like more of an obligation than something you're choosing to pour your energy into, then that's a glaring red flag from the universe that it's time to walk away. If you have to hype yourself up and pretty much drag yourself out of the house just to attend that planned coffee hangout with a person, that's proof that you're not really that invested anymore.
You should feel excited to see people that you care for and genuinely want to interact with. In the same way that hanging out with someone may drain your energy, if it feels like something that you have to do versus something you want to do, then maybe you're better off allowing that person to quietly exit your life so you can make room for people that you have no problem spending hours with.
8. Your values start clashing
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If you suddenly find yourself at odds with someone in your life over things that were never once a problem, it might be friction on a much deeper, and more spiritual level. Suddenly, your values aren't matching up, and there's this gap in the common ground you used to share. Maybe you're arguing over issues that you were both once aligned on, or you're questioning their judgment over choices they make in their life that may seem frivolous to them but definitely aren't to you.
You're now questioning whether this is someone you want to have attached to your name and life because it just feels like you're disagreeing on things that shouldn't even be a conflict in the first place. This is usually a sign, as painful as it is, from the universe that this person should be removed from your life. It's asking you to prioritize staying true to yourself over remaining in a relationship with someone who's only there for comfort.
9. Everything feels one-sided
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Whenever you try to schedule a time to see this person, you realize it's just you putting in the effort. You're the one reaching out, planning where the two of you should go, and keeping up the conversation when the two of you do finally interact. There's zero effort from their end, and it feels like your resilience is the only thing keeping you together.
That realization can be quite heartbreaking, but it is the universe trying to show you an important sign that can't be ignored. As tough as the wake-up call is, once you accept it, it's easier for you to realize that you don't deserve the bare minimum kind of effort from anyone.
10. The jokes aren't funny anymore
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It may seem trivial and small, but when you're suddenly no longer laughing with someone that you used to share laughter and joy with, that's usually a big sign that something is wrong. It's easy to brush it off at first because it seems like something quite small that shouldn't even matter to the integrity of a relationship, but it does. If you're noticing that the laughter feels forced on your end or you're suddenly offended by the "jokes" that they're making, it means that the connection is no longer as strong as before.
The shift in the relationship just from jokes can tell a lot about the future of it and even how stable it is too. It's not that you're being too sensitive, it's because you're no longer tolerating that kind of behavior or comments.
11. Letting go doesn't feel hard
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The thought of actually walking away and leaving this person behind doesn't fill you with dread, but rather a sense of calm washes over you as you realize that you're honestly better off. It doesn't mean there won't be sadness or feelings of melancholy, but you know in your heart that it's the right decision.
Even if you spent some time trying to salvage what was left or talk yourself into thinking you were just being dramatic or sensitive about it, the universe just kept showing you signs. The last one was the feeling that you were going to be alright without them. You know that you'll meet better people as you continue to live life, and just because the chapter with this person is closing doesn't mean you'll be alone. Letting go means realizing that better things are on the horizon.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
