13 Signs You’ve Been The Strong One For Too Long (And Have Lost Touch With Your Feminine Energy)
You've spent so long holding it all together that softness feels foreign.
Hector Roqueta | Shutterstock Every person in the world has both feminine and masculine energies within them. The goal is to balance these competing energies. Some people may have misconceptions about what feminine energy is. It isn’t pastel colors, rainbows, and frilly clothing. Feminine energy is the state of being compassionate and trusting your intuition.
Although being “feminine” has been seen as weak in a patriarchal society filled with toxic masculinity, it is the exact opposite. Understanding your life force and creating synergy between your masculine side and feminine characteristics can strengthen your communications and give you a renewed perspective. It’s time to unblock the other side of you and allow yourself to radiate feminine energy.
Here are 13 signs you’ve been the strong one for too long — and have lost touch with your feminine energy:
1. You have stopped taking care of yourself
In today’s hustle culture, diffused awareness of feelings and competitiveness, a lot of women find it difficult to access their feminine sides because they rely so heavily on masculine traits to succeed. Femininity is soft, nurturing, and gentle. If you have struggled with setting boundaries and neglected yourself in the process, your femininity may be blocked.
Life coach Lisa Shultz explained, "The ability to flip a switch from her masculine survival mode to a sensual woman sometimes diminishes. In extreme examples, some women have lost touch with their feminine sides to the point that they don't even realize what they left behind. Instead, they simply feel a vague sense of loss or an inability to attract a new relationship."
It’s time to learn to say "no" without feeling guilty. Relax and recharge without regret. Make self-care a habit, because who better to know what you need and take care of you than... you?
2. You think you can do it all
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
The ability to access your feminine traits is necessary for both men and women. And recognizing the signs that your feminine energy is blocked is important for your mental and emotional health. Being feminine is about collaboration, sharing, and diplomacy. Masculine energy needs to control, wants to lead, and is more action-oriented than people-centered.
If you find yourself refusing to ask for help, even when you need it most, you need to give up control and let other people assist you. Free up some of your time and create new connections.
3. You see femininity as weak
In a society dominated by men, it is easy for women to mimic masculinity in an effort to achieve equality or a seat at the table. Success is seen as the ability to accumulate material things and the capacity to build a reputation as a hard worker or overachiever. You have been conditioned to tune out your “soft” and “emotional” feminine energy in favor of masculine behavior.
Some of us have been brainwashed by society to believe that feminine energy equates to inferiority or weakness. Because of the misinformation we were given, we try to display masculine traits.
It’s not your fault, but you do have the power to change your mindset. Being compassionate, empathetic, and soft is necessary when navigating many of life’s challenges. Add them to your coping mechanisms.
4. Your intuition is off
Obstructed feminine energy can happen in the natural flow of life, where you are required to use the masculine parts of your persona to get ahead. To that end, some people strategically decide that the masculine is what they need to be present in the moment and have intentionally suppressed any signs of femininity.
Most of what people do in the world is guided by intuition. Without it, you are left unable to trust your own thoughts and feelings. Feminine energy relies on intuition to help with decisions. If you don’t feel like you can count on your intuition and tend to make decisions out of desperation or only use logic (not feelings) to make choices, your feminine energy could be blocked.
5. You’re always trying to prove yourself
Masculinity focuses on competitiveness and the ability to prove oneself. If you find yourself constantly trying to show your worth through accomplishments, you may have blocked your feminine energy.
Femininity is based more on how you make people feel as opposed to what you did or said to them. It is supportive and wants everyone to win. Relationship coach Anna Thea advised, "The female body is designed for sensual pleasure, and the female brain is wired to fully experience those pleasures. If you’re not experiencing the depth of pleasure you know is possible, and you find yourself holding back in intimate experiences, healing your feminine energy will open new doors."
6. You’re always 'on'
Do you feel like you're missing out on some important work you should be doing whenever you take time to just be? Do you feel like you’re racing against time, and other people have time to waste?
Masculine energy is led by getting things done at all costs. Feminine energy is the need to take care of oneself and empower others by passing on opportunity instead of coveting it for yourself.
7. You feel more powerful when you act and feel masculine
CarlosBarquero via Shutterstock
Women who have been taken advantage of, professionally or personally, in the past can develop a masculine shell that is hard to crack. They believe repressing their femininity is protection.
But protection isn’t just about guarding against external things. Femininity provides internal protection by allowing you to love and take care of yourself. A healthy mental and emotional state is the ultimate protection.
8. You think suffering is part of the process
Blocked feminine energy is what happens when you are incapable of balancing your masculine and feminine sides. Neglecting your divine feminine energy can leave you under stress, overwhelmed, feeling guilty, and out of touch with your true self.
Sayings like “no pain, no gain” or “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” are rooted in patriarchal and masculine characteristics. Let’s move away from equating success, achievements, and even love with pain. You do not need to hurt to win. You don’t have to "ride or die" with a man to get the love you deserve.
9. You don’t value rest
There is no more important form of self-care than rest. And it doesn’t have to be between the acceptable times that society has dictated. If you feel guilty about doing nothing, your feminine energy is blocked.
Getting proper downtime is essential to your health and well-being. Listen to your body and let it dictate when you need rest. Femininity does not push forward, no matter the cost. We put ourselves first.
10. You’re constantly drained and overwhelmed
When your feminine energy is blocked, life can feel mundane. Day to day, you may just go through the motions to get what needs to be done. This can be overwhelming and exhausting. Letting your feminine energy lead will help you make yourself a priority and add to your life the things that bring you happiness.
11. You put on a happy face no matter how you feel
Red Cristal via Shutterstock
Masculinity has deemed any display of emotions weak. Instead of objecting to things that don’t serve you, you suck it up and push ahead. Unblocking your feminine energy will give you the confidence to speak up when you don’t agree and to leave the table when a situation is no longer serving you.
12. You struggle with romantic relationships
Of course, if you focus on achievement and world domination, other areas of your life will suffer. If you are knee-deep in proving yourself to the world, your love life will suffer. Women can achieve everything we want in life, but those achievements must be balanced with our personal desires and need for love, support, and a soft place to land at the end of the day.
13. You try to control life
Masculine energy is the need to control every environment you find yourself in. Feminine energy is the trust that whatever is meant to be, will be, and that your intuition will take you in the right direction.
Controlling behavior is stressful and tiresome. If you can never hand the reins to someone else and let them take the lead, your feminine energy may be blocked.
Unblocking your feminine energy is done by getting rid of your limiting beliefs on what it means to be a woman and the strength of femininity. Bring new things into your life, like friends, hobbies, and habits that support your energy shift.
Life coach Roland Legge suggested, "People, no matter their gender, are called to discern their gifts. Go beyond any stereotypes and let go of any limitations anyone has put on you. You are meant to be you! Show the world what healthy masculinity and femininity look like."
Most importantly, practice self-care religiously. Make yourself and your physical, mental, and emotional health the highest priority.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
