Why Pleasure Is The Key To Healing Shame & Honoring Feminine Energy

Photo: getty
woman lying in bed
Expert
Sex

Knowing how to heal feminine energy involves honoring, awakening, and nurturing your sexuality. And pleasure and receptivity are a big part of that.

But before you can heal your feminine energy, you need to learn about shame and how to overcome it.

Shame cuts you off from your potency. It's the lowest frequency emotion and is often carried in your female anatomy.

The antidote to shame is honoring, loving, and holding yourself and others as sacred. As you learn to honor and love your sexuality and see it as holy, you heal the wounded feminine in you.

RELATED: 6 Ways To Get In Touch With Your Feminine Energy

Pleasure is the path to healing your feminine energy.

However, if you’ve been sexually abused, you have wounds from those experiences, which blocks your ability to express your authentic femininity and feel pleasure.

You've built walls as a defense mechanism.

Even if you weren’t outright sexually abused, the consciousness of this world is such that it has wounded almost everyone’s sexuality. Men, too, have been sexually wounded.

According to the Crimes Against Children Research Center, one in five girls and one in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse. And people carry these wounds throughout their adult life and into their relationships.

People who have been sexually abused often think that it was their fault. They believe they did something wrong and are somehow inherently bad.

That's the energy of shame.

Healing feminine energy requires you to look at this early imprint and heal it by honoring the sacredness of your body and your sexuality, and releasing the stuck frequency of shame you're holding.

Remember: If you experienced abuse, it wasn't your fault.

It’s important to know this. You didn’t have a voice or a way to defend yourself at that young age. Your erotic innocence was stolen from you.

Giving yourself a voice now, as an adult, will heal your wounded feminine by releasing the guilt and shame, so you can stand up for yourself in a loving, truthful way.

Clearing the shame makes way for pleasure.

The female body was designed for receiving and experiencing the joys of pleasure. But instead, all too often and sadly so, the female body has been used as an object for pleasure, creating a society of wounded women. 

What this means is that many people in society, both men and women, carry sexual wounds. This is a sexually unaware and shame-filled world. And it’s up to each of us to free ourselves from the shame.

In A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle speaks of "the pain body," a residue of emotional pain stored in the cells of the body. There's a magnificent, marvelous, and mysterious counterpart to that: "The pleasure body."

The female body is designed for sensual pleasure, and the female brain is wired to fully experience those pleasures.

If you’re not experiencing the dept of pleasure you know is possible, and you find yourself holding back in intimate experiences, healing your feminine energy will open new doors.

The great balance of masculine and feminine energy.

More love leads to more pleasure. Women are the leaders of love.

The masculine way to lead is through conquering. The feminine way is through surrender — surrendering to your innate desire to lead with love and feel great sensual pleasure in your body.

It’s important to understand the difference between masculine and feminine energy and have a balance of both, no matter what gender you identify as.

In this more masculine and "make it happen" kind of world, many have an abundance of masculine energy. It’s through honoring, loving, and holding yourself as sacred that opens your "pleasure gates."

Pleasure lets love in — and love heals. 

Intimacy and pleasure is about feeling safe enough to be open and receptive. And when you're receptive, you let love in.

It’s this love that allows you to heal your wounded feminine energy. The more your busy mind feels calm, safe, and honored, the greater the opportunity to experience deep love.

For example, if you have body image issues, you hold pain in your body. It’s time to let that pain go. Allow pleasure in.

And when you let love and pleasure into your body, you stop the internal battle you're experiencing.

The problem is that you're not programmed to open up and accept delight and bodily pleasure. Historically, you haven’t had a safe space for such receptivity.

Healing shame and changing your attitudes on pleasure takes work.

It takes effort to change the attitude and programming about pleasure. It takes effort and conscious awareness to heal shame.

Subscribe to our newsletter.

Join now for YourTango's trending articles, top expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning.

Pain may motivate you because you want to avoid it, but pleasure heals.

When you take time and learn how to open deeper into pleasure, you’ll heal the relationship you have with your body. Then, you’ll finally experience the joy of being in your body.

RELATED: How To Harness The Power Of Your Feminine Energy To Manifest True Love

Holding yourself as sacred is the secret to healing feminine energy.

Your ability to feel pleasure is related to your ability to open and receive. And you will automatically open and become more receptive when you're feeling honored and sacred.

As a woman, your Yoni is very wise. She will shut down like a vice grip if she is not being honored. And many women are in that chronic state of disconnect without realizing it.

You don’t know what you don’t know. Being shut down and disconnected becomes a normal state of being.

Plus, you live in a world where the natural tendency is to react by shutting down, instead of staying open or opening up.

In new situations, you can easily be suspicious, defensive, or judgmental. It takes effort and consciousness to keep yourself open.

It takes having self-awareness and good boundaries to keep yourself safe.

That’s why pleasure — overall pleasure in your body — may be elusive for you. In general, you're not raised to be receptive.

What happens when someone gives you a compliment? Do you fully receive the compliment? Or, do you make sure the person knows there's a flaw somewhere?

For example, if they compliment you on your dress, do you say, "Oh, there’s a hole or a snag here at the bottom," instead of staying open, receptive, and truly receiving the compliment?

Somehow, it’s automatic to find fault instead of smiling and saying, "thank you."

The next time someone compliments you, notice your response. See if you can stay open and receive the compliment with zero resistance and without acting on an impulse to return the compliment.

Practice simply receiving it.

When you become more receptive, you’ll not only create more pleasure in your life, you’ll automatically heal feminine energy!

What do you need to create more pleasure in your life?

To make love with your body, you’ll have to learn the language of needs and feelings. Unmet and unacknowledged feelings get bottled-up and stuck in your body.

If you're ready to heal your wounded feminine, you must learn to feel and be present with your uncomfortable feelings, so you can ask for what you need.

Go through them and hold them in your love and compassion, instead of stuffing them. When you do, you’ll transform, your pain to pleasure and self-empowerment.

Creating a safe space is also important for cultivating receptivity.

When you're relaxed, you feel safe. You can't open and receive pleasure when you're in fight-or-flight mode, stressed out, or anxious.

In order to open and receive, create safe spaces for yourself. Make sure you have enough time and won’t be interrupted.

There’s also nothing worse for a woman’s pleasure potential than a selfish lover.

If you’re being intimate with someone, make sure it’s in a setting where you feel comfortable and uninhibited. Choose to be intimate with someone who is also safe to be with, values your needs, and is attentive.

Learning a unique sexual healing practice can help you to shift old sexual patterns and bring more heart-centered sexuality into your love life.

Want to get involved to bring an end to child sexual abuse? There are a few things you can do. Organizations like Prevent Child Abuse America are good places to start and are always looking for people to donate their time and money to their efforts. The organization also suggests writing to local elected officials to support policies that bring an end to sexual abuse, and of course, the simplest thing to do is to keep eyes and ears open and to report abuse when you see it — and to always take children seriously when they say they're being abused.

RELATED: Why Acknowledging Your 'Yoni' Makes You A Powerful, Attractive Woman

Anna-Thea is an author and Certified Divine Feminine Educator. For more information, visit her website or connect with her for a 30-minute coaching session.

This article was originally published at annathea.org. Reprinted with permission from the author.