If You See A Man Doing These 11 Things In Public, You Know He's A Good Person
He isn't just thinking about himself all of the time.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock If you think about a "good person," what do you envision? Is it their empathetic nature, their passion for advocacy, or their love? Maybe it's something as simple as picking up trash. It's relatively subjective, but if you see a man doing these things in public, you know he's a good person.
Especially with a flurry of misguided expectations of masculinity and toxic social norms in today's world, a good man shows up consistently and embraces his own kind of authenticity. A man's identity often informs their behaviors, relationships, and routines, both in positive and slightly negative ways. That's why a good man leads with intention, no matter what he's doing or who he's with.
If you see a man doing these 11 things in public, you know he’s a good person
1. Checking in on someone who looks upset
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Even if there are certain stereotypes in society about the relationship between empathy, compassion, and masculinity, if you see a man checking in on someone who looks upset in public, you know he's a good person.
It's easy to get caught up in our own daily chaos, responsibilities, and moods, and ignore that everyone else is living a simultaneously personal life — complete with their own struggles, grief, and anxiety. We brush off someone crying in public or demonize service workers for having a bad day, but the truth is: we're all human.
Men who go out of their way to connect with someone, support a stranger, or check in on someone who's clearly having a bad day don't mind setting their own needs aside for a moment, especially if it ensures someone else feels safer and more valued.
2. Apologizing openly
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Gender roles and expectations often play a larger role in our relationships than we can imagine, according to psychologist Satadeepa Som, from crafting power dynamics to informing partners' ability to take accountability for their actions.
Alongside misguided patriarchal norms about male dominance in our society, it's often refreshing to see a man taking accountability and apologizing genuinely — whether he's your partner or a stranger on the street.
Of course, it's not about lowering his own "status" or subsiding to an inferior position in a relationship — taking accountability simply means acknowledging that mistakes are opportunities for growth and giving people the respect they deserve.
3. Being kind to service workers
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Truly good men don't just smile at strangers on the street and offer to help people they don't know while running errands — they're also incredibly empathetic in specific scenarios, like engaging with a service worker. Whether they're at a fast food restaurant or a sit-down dinner, they have the perspective and social awareness to understand that someone's bad day or personality has nothing to do with them.
Just because a waiter or barista is going through something personal or struggling to be empathetic themselves doesn't mean they're any less deserving of respect. Someone's job doesn't automatically make them a "scapegoat" for other people's grievances.
4. Speaking respectfully to his partner
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Especially in public spaces, a truly good man — and person, regardless of gender — will always speak to their partner with respect. They're not raising their voices, embarrassing others, or causing a scene for attention in an argument, but instead treating their partner with the same respect they expect in return.
It all comes down to emotional regulation skills. Part of the reason why partners with greater self-awareness and emotional regulation skills boast better relationship satisfaction is because they can have arguments, resolve conflicts, and indulge in hard conversations without constantly resorting to defensiveness or aggression.
Truly good men make an effort to build these skills, even if it's a journey and takes a lot of practice, for the sake of their partner's well-being and their relationships in life.
5. Waiting for his turn in conversations
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If you see a man being quiet or waiting for his turn in conversations, you know he's a good person. It's not just a product of his strong emotional intelligence, but also his respect for everyone. They don't view themselves in inherently superior positions, no matter the situation — whether they're talking to service workers, handling a conflict at work, or being vulnerable with a partner.
While it's true that men tend to historically talk and interrupt more in conversations than women, truly good men make an effort to rewrite that narrative. They actively listen, ask thoughtful questions, and always ensure other people feel seen, heard, and understood.
6. Stopping to help strangers
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Whether it's helping someone carry their groceries to their car or letting a busy mom skip them in line, if you see a man doing these things in public, you know he's a good person. It all comes down to social awareness — they're not only thinking about their own time, energy, and responsibilities, but noticing when other people need help and support.
While this behavior is often noticeable in public, it's also a virtue of their personal lives and relationships. They're willing to go the extra mile to help loved ones in their lives and drop everything when someone they love needs support.
7. Intervening in the face of disrespect
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Truly good men don't view themselves as "saviors" or "protectors" of others all of the time; in fact, they may completely avoid these kinds of gendered social roles in their relationships and interactions. However, they know when to acknowledge their privilege and leverage it to help others, when necessary.
For example, if someone is being disrespected or there's an escalating situation happening in public, they know when to step in. Whether it's using their male presence and gendered social norms in their favor to ensure someone feels safe in the face of mistreatment or simply offering help to someone who's clearly struggling, these are things good men always do.
8. Respecting people's space
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Respecting other people's space in public is one of those things that everyone should be cognizant of, but that often goes overlooked because of stress, phone distractions, and an occasional aura of entitlement.
However, men are always intentional about respecting this unwritten rule. They understand their privilege, and often have a good idea of how social norms and expectations inform their actions in public. So, if that means walking on a certain side of the sidewalk or creating space in a grocery store line, they're willing to do it.
9. Laughing when he makes a mistake
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Rather than getting defensive or trying to call out other people, truly good men leverage their emotional regulation skills to laugh at themselves when they make a mistake. Whether it's something as simple as mispronouncing a word or a larger mistake at work, they're willing to take accountability, laugh at their mistakes, and use the opportunity as a chance to learn something new.
So, if you see a man being open-minded about their mistakes, learning from others without judgment, and laughing at themselves when they're embarrassed, chances are you know he's a good person.
10. Noticing who's left out
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According to a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, feeling consistently misunderstood often predicts worsened mental health, loneliness, and life satisfaction. Even if it's simply noticing small habits and behaviors that feel like rejection, being left out and feeling "different" in social interactions can have impactful aftershocks.
That's why truly good men are always cognizant of their role in social interactions, even if that means being socially aware enough to notice when someone doesn't feel heard and included. They're intentional about making eye contact, using open body language, and asking thoughtful questions to someone when they're being isolated — making inclusive space for everyone, not just themselves.
11. Only offering advice when asked
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Whether it's in the gym or his place of work, truly good men only offer advice when they're asked for it. They don't take on the mindset that their expertise and knowledge are powerful for everyone, but they're willing to offer it when someone asks for help.
Especially considering the culture of "mansplaining" tends to make people, especially women, feel less respected in public spaces, good men are careful about when they offer advice and when they opt to just emotionally support others.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
