11 Things That Feel Like Rejection To Gen Z, Even When They’re Not
Social pressure for ever-higher goals makes every rejection feel like the absolute worst.
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock We suffer heartbreak in a way similar to the way we suffer a broken arm. The internal experience of rejection can feel severe, embarrassing, and more emotional than we would expect. But while being rejected can severely impact anyone's emotional well-being and self-esteem, some things feel like rejection to Gen Z, even when they're not.
Beyond the common experiences of romantic rejection, Gen Z is sensitive to most experiences that bring uncomfortable feelings of insecurity and embarrassment. The pressure they feel from a constant stream of others' expectations, standards, and goals can cause even the slightest rejection to bring more discomfort than people from older generations may feel is warranted.
Here are 11 things that feel like rejection to Gen-Z, even when they’re not
1. Being left on read
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com
When your inner child suffers from self-doubt and your self-esteem struggles in the face of uncertainty, it’s not uncommon for subtle experiences like being left on read to start overthinking and become fearful, according to psychologist Leon F Seltzer. When we send a text message, anticipate a response, and then are left wondering why we’re being “ignored,” it can lead to an overthinking spiral.
However, it’s not a sign of rejection, it’s a reminder of our insecurities, self-doubt, and anxiety. Everyone has a life outside of their phones, and they aren't always able to immediately respond or remember they forgot to do so, so it’s impossible to tie self-worth to online communication without setting ourselves up for failure.
The key to living a more stable and comfortable life, outside the pressures of external validation and fears of rejection, is to focus on yourself and to build internal stability. You should feel empowered and stable enough to navigate any kind of adversity, let alone being left on read for hours.
2. Being excluded from a group chat
TetianaKtv | Shutterstock.com
While it might seem counterintuitive, feelings of exclusion often start a cycle of isolation that’s hard to break. A person who’s been excluded from a gathering or a group chat may cope by isolating themselves or avoiding their friends, which further exacerbates their discomfort.
However, being excluded doesn't have to feel like rejection. It often has more to do with other people than with you or your relationship. Especially for Gen-Z, who largely grew up in an era of endless inclusivity, it’s not surprising they feel the need to be everywhere and be included in everything.
Just because your friends hang out without you, make separate plans, or start another group chat doesn’t mean they don’t love and care about you. We’re all adults, capable of maintaining individual friendships and relationships without interconnecting them all.
3. Last-minute cancellations
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock.com
When we don’t feel like our time is respected by close friends and we’re not prioritized, it can inspire feelings of uncertainty, isolation, anxiety, and even embarrassment. While these symptoms mirror feelings of rejection, being cancelled on at the last-minute and always having to reach out to make plans isn’t necessarily a friend rejecting you.
While they might be a sign of unreliability, lack of time management, or poor communication, last-minute cancellations are hardly a sign you’re being rejected.
4. Being ghosted
Josep Suria | Shutterstock.com
Rather than have an open conversation or express feelings, people who fear vulnerability may avoid it entirely by ghosting and blocking social media accounts, refusing to respond, and avoiding in-person interactions. This can be incredibly confusing for the person being ghosted, but it’s not usually a sign you’re being rejected by someone.
Someone capable of ghosting isn’t someone you want in your life to begin with. This can serve as a reminder that they’re not your person and you deserve more. Ghosting also says way more about the person doing it than the person they’re intending to avoid. It’s their unhealthy coping mechanism, not an attack on you.
However, coupled with Gen-Z’s common struggle with social anxiety and in-person connection, ghosting is typical for their generation in dating, the workplace, and among friends.
5. Not being invited somewhere
Perfect Wave | Shutterstock.com
According to a study conducted by the University of California, friendships are key to Gen-Z's happiness levels, especially when they’re navigating being single. With new-age ideas about relationships and a value on platonic connections, of course, they’re going to be more sensitive to feelings left out of friend hangouts and social events.
However, being left out isn’t always intentional on everyone else’s part. It can feel like rejection to not get an invite or to watch your friends posting stories on social media, but they’re entitled to time spent without you. We’re adults, we can maintain several friendships, drift away, and hang out alone.
The key to avoiding the anxiety, self-doubt, and resentment associated with things that feel like rejection to Gen-Z is to look inward and connect with yourself by asking how you are self-soothing, how you can fill your alone time, and what kind of expectations you are holding your friends to.
6. Feeling distant from their friends
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock.com
Psychotherapist Nancy Colier suggests that many young people have ideas about long-term friendships that are entirely wrong, at least when it comes to drifting apart, honoring shared history, and battling resentment. By holding onto relationships that are no longer meant for us, we’re plaguing the health of the relationship with resentment and sabotaging our ability to look back on it fondly.
It’s OK to drift apart or end relationships. It’s not a bad thing, it’s not giving up, and it’s certainly not rejection. It’s a natural part of human life, especially for Gen-Z, who are entering into adulthood, changing every other day, and crafting authentic values that may not align as well with their social circles as they did a year prior.
7. Parents not agreeing with their life choices
ViDI Studio | Shutterstock.com
For Gen-Zers who have been proclaimed the change makers of the world, it’s not surprising that they’re experiencing a lot of resentment and tension with their parents and older family members who grew up in a more traditional time, as shown by a 2009 study.
However, just because you don’t agree on things or your parents don’t necessarily align with your authentic life choices doesn't mean they’re rejecting you. It’s probably miscommunication or a lack of knowledge. Just because your parents don’t want to live your life or make the same choices as you doesn’t mean they don’t love you or won’t be around to support you.
Of course, in some cases, life choices and living your authentic life can separate you from your parents and family. In that case, take the time you need to grieve and show up for yourself. You’re not being rejected by a fault of your own, but rather drifting apart from people who dull your authenticity and make living a genuine life more difficult.
8. Not being celebrated for success
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock.com
Your best friend doesn’t look all that excited when you introduce your new boyfriend, or your partner seems annoyed when you talk about getting a new job. When we achieve something, daydream about telling our friends and family, and are met with a response different than what we expected, it feels disappointing and confusing.
However, this isn’t necessarily a sign they’re rejecting you, your choices, or your success. It’s likely a symptom of their resentment, insecurity, or emotions. Everyone shows joy differently, so it may be a misunderstanding, but it’s also possible they’re battling internal jealousy or envy that they don’t know how to control. Even when we want it to be, not everything that hurts our feelings is inherently about us or a rejection of our character.
9. Not being chosen
gpointstudio | Shutterstock.com
Whether it’s a job, an opportunity, or a first date, not being chosen can lead to upsetting feelings, but that doesn’t mean you were rejected. It’s simply a reminder that one thing wasn’t meant for you right now.
Everyone has goals and dreams they’re working towards, but not everything can happen all at once. But, who knows, you absolutely could achieve all the things you want at some point, but maybe missing out on that job or being ghosted by a first date is what you need to open yourself up to something different.
10. Friends not liking social media posts
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com
Gen Zers grew up online and crafted their lives, jobs, and relationships in the digital landscape. So, not liking social media posts has become a manifestation of rejection. However, just because we feel unchosen and unvalued, doesn’t mean we’re being rejected by the person leaving us on read.
There are many reasons why someone may have missed your post, forgotten to like it, or decided not to, most of which have absolutely nothing to do with you or the health of your relationship. Sometimes, you have to put it in perspective. If someone doesn’t like your Instagram post, it’s not because they hate you or don’t want to be around you.
11. Not getting a timely text response
Wasana Kunpol | Shutterstock.com
You see them responding to other group chats or being active on social media, but not getting an immediate text back can feel like rejection.
However, just because it’s one of the things that feel like rejection doesn’t mean it is. It may prompt similar feelings of disgust, embarrassment, and disappointment, but it’s not a sign someone hates us or doesn’t want us in their lives. They could very well just be busy.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
