People Who Always Sound Really Smart In Conversation Usually Use These 11 Casual Phrases
Paul Tamas's Images | Canva While social interactions can be intimidating and even awkward at times, there’s always an opportunity to shift someone's perception of you when you're speaking with them. Whether you want to seem more competent or come across as more confident, subtle body language shifts and verbal cues can go a long way. And according to psychology, there are also phrases that will instantly make you look smarter in pretty much any conversation.
Research, including one study published in the journal Psychological and Cognitive Sciences, suggests we learn more from our conversations with people than we may even realize. So, looking at every discussion you have as an opportunity to learn not only makes you appear smarter; it literally makes you smarter as well.
People who sound super-smart in conversation usually say these things casually:
1. ‘Let me explain myself better’
Whether you’re a leader at work explaining a project or setting boundaries in a relationship, true communication comes from being on the same page, even if it takes multiple conversations or reworded phrases to get there. As psychotherapist Myron Nelson, LCPC, suggests, intentionally balancing clear verbiage and empathy in your social interactions can help foster mutual understanding.
Not only will a phrase like this encourage other people to ask questions and contextualize your arguments or emotions, but it also puts you both on the same team.
2. ‘I hear you, and…’
As a study published in PLOS ONE suggests, feeling heard in a conversation is the key to truly connecting and feeling valued by others, even if it takes compromise to get there. With a phrase like this, you can be sure other people feel heard, even when you disagree with them, allowing them to feel more comfortable and safe in conversations with you.
Of course, whether others perceive you as really smart isn't entirely defined by what you know and what kind of confidence you portray. It has much more to do with how you make other people feel. When someone feels secure and heard in your presence, they are more likely to invest time and energy in you.
3. ‘I understand where you’re coming from’
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Many of the phrases that instantly make you look smarter in any conversation revolve around mutual understanding and respect. When you make an effort to support another person, make space for them to speak, and genuinely listen and show interest in what they have to say, you set yourself up to be perceived in a more positive, competent light.
4. ‘Thank you for sharing’
In social situations, expressing gratitude not only feeds into your happiness, as experts from Harvard Health state, but it can also make other people feel appreciated in your presence, too. When you evoke positive and fulfilling emotions in others, even during emotional or high-stress conversations, you help to craft a more positive perception of yourself in the eyes of others, i.e., people see you as really smart.
5. ‘Here’s a question we should consider’
Working together towards a resolution amid a conflict genuinely bonds people. When you point out an objective and work together to move toward (or solve) it, you not only create more productive conversations, but a better, more comfortable relationship dynamic, too.
6. ‘In my experience…’
Finding common ground often starts with shared experience: What can you relate to when you’re speaking to someone new? What shared objectives, interests, or experiences do you have with them? How can you work together to engage in a conversation that’s best suited for everyone involved?
When you use a phrase like this to share something personal, you not only bond on a deeper level, but also help others to feel more comfortable in your presence, and in turn, this makes you seem smarter instantly.
7. ‘I don’t know’
When you’re more committed to being right or appearing smarter than others in conversations, you sabotage what could be productive, insightful conversations. Admitting when you’re wrong and being open to challenging conversations where you may not know everything is not just important for growth, but ironically, for seeming smarter in the eyes of others, too. When you ask questions and genuinely listen to other people's perspectives, people take notice.
8. ‘Tell me more about that’
Part of ensuring that other people feel valued and heard in conversations is encouraging them to talk about themselves — something most people are excited and happy to do at all times. To look really smart and appear more competent in social interactions, give other people the floor and make it not about you.
Misunderstandings often start when people are unwilling to actively listen, one report suggests. However, people who commit to active listening with thoughtful questions and specific reassuring cues, are generally perceived to be more intelligent and thoughtful than those who don’t.
9. ‘May I ask you for advice?’
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According to a study published in the Management Science journal, people who ask for help and advice from others are generally perceived to be more intelligent and competent than those who don’t. Everything is about your mindset. If you believe asking for help makes you seem “weak,” yet you constantly seek external validation and praise, you only come across as insecure and isolated.
10. ‘Let me think about that further’
While it might seem uncomfortable to ask for space in a conversation so you can pause to regulate your own emotions, people who are fierce self-advocates in any relationship are generally perceived to be really smart.
Whether you’re arguing with a partner or trying to solve a problem at work, asking for the space you need to gather your thoughts and self-regulate — and holding that same kind of space for others — can be extremely beneficial for everyone involved.
11. ‘I think...’
By using I-statements such as “I think," "I believe,” or “I feel,” you remove the accusatory tone from your voice, even when you’re calling someone out for their behavior or comments. While it can be uncomfortable in tense conversations to make space for your voice, there’s power in helping other people to feel understood and valued. Not only do you seem smarter when you’re willing to actively make space for your own voice, but other people feel more confident in your presence when you let them speak their mind, too.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
