11 Phrases Awkward People Can't Help But Say That Instantly Make Conversations Weird
Asier Romero | Shutterstock We're uncomfortable sitting in silence for the same reasons we can't stand being around socially awkward people in conversations. The feelings of discomfort and embarrassment put a spotlight on our own insecurities and fears. We like to feel emotionally in control, but if we're afraid of managing discomfort without guilt and shame, awkward people can feel like a threat.
Most of the time, these conversations are easy to walk away from or avoid, especially when you know the tried-and-true phrases awkward people can't help but say that instantly make conversations feel weird. But sometimes, everyone should lean in and manage an uncomfortable dynamic, for the sake of growth or connection.
Here are 11 phrases awkward people can't help but say that instantly make conversations weird
1. 'I'm sorry for saying that'
buritora | Shutterstock
Long-winded, rambling apologies can sometimes come across as more genuine in serious situations and conflicts.
However, when someone is over-apologizing for their own presence or for saying something in a conversation, it has a very different effect on social dynamics. Not only does it place a burden on others to comfort them, it also takes away from the quiet confidence that makes conversations secure and unthreatening.
2. 'Well, this is awkward'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Even though it can be challenging and uncomfortable, sometimes leaning into awkward silences and pauses in conversations is actually more powerful than trying to fill them. Rather than making a pause in conversation awkward for everyone with a phrase like "well, this is awkward," appreciate the stillness to think and reflect.
Not everything we perceive as embarrassing is actually bad. Unfamiliar, awkward territory can still teach us things. Especially around other people, the more comfortable we are with silence and stillness, the more likely someone else is to appreciate it.
3. 'You must hate me'
Jose Calsina | Shutterstock
When you say things like "you must hate me" or "Are you mad at me?" all the time, you're placing a burden on other people to make you feel better. In conversations, this burden can make everyone uncomfortable, especially when the entire energy of the group shifts.
On top of making other people feel responsible for your comfort, a study from the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that seeking constant reassurance from other people to feel worthy puts people at an increased risk for depression. When we can't validate and assure ourselves, we end up developing an incredibly fickle sense of self-worth, built entirely on what other people think.
4. 'Must be nice'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
Even when it's well-intentioned, a phrase like "must be nice" still comes across as snarky and rude. Many socially awkward people struggle with this battle all the time. They feel like no matter what they say or do, they're always perceived in the wrong way. They always get the tone or the body language wrong. They can't help but make people uncomfortable, even when they're trying their best not to.
Especially when society tells us that insecure people bring drama and negativity, awkwardness or discomfort in social settings can isolate them completely. These innocent, harmless slip-ups end up costing them a sense of belonging in almost every room they're in.
5. 'Sorry, what did you say?'
Geber86 | Shutterstock
Most of the time, when someone's mind is wandering in a conversation, it's because they're thinking deeply about something, trying to solve a problem, or managing a million pieces of information in their brains. Some people with anxiety may also be rehearsing conversations and trying to pull from the past to operate more confidently in the moment.
However, on the outside, it often seems like they're just not paying attention. They may miss a part of the discussion or someone's question, which only comes across as rude and sabotages the vibe of their connection and conversation.
6. 'I'm not sure what to do'
voronaman | Shutterstock
Most people overestimate their competency, but considering our society tends to reward confident people, regardless of whether or not they're faking it, it's not a surprise. We feel more certain and secure around confident people than those who seem helpless, using phrases like "I'm not sure what to do" or "I'm not the right person for this."
Even if they're socially anxious and struggling to make confident decisions around other people, pretending to be confident might be the key to avoiding the awkwardness everybody fears.
7. 'Did that sound weird?'
Chokniti-Studio | Shutterstock
Self-doubt and insecurity can have all kinds of consequences in a person's life, from their personal relationships to their success at work. Not only does it make people second-guess themselves and develop a baseline of anxiety, but they convince other people not to trust them by constantly questioning themselves.
Even if you know you said something awkward or uncomfortable, avoid questioning it with phrases like "Did that sound weird?" or "Are you mad?" When you point out someone's discomfort or awkwardness in the moment, especially in a group setting, it usually just amplifies everyone's embarrassment.
8. 'I'm not good at this'
PLotulitStocker | Shutterstock
Even if it feels out of your wheelhouse, if you're struggling with confidence and social skills, sometimes the best advice really is to fake it until you make it. We're drawn to confidence and self-assuredness, so if you can try that kind of inner security on, even when you don't feel it, you might eventually become more confident over time.
Of course, don't be someone you're not to appease others. If you need some extra assurance to avoid insecurity and use phrases like "I'm not good at this" in situations where you need to sell yourself, try on fake confidence.
9. 'Let me just add...'
Gorgev | Shutterstock
Over-explaining is often the quickest way to come across as less confident and secure in a conversation. Secure people say their piece and let it speak for itself. Insecure people ramble over and over again, using phrases like "let me just add" to come back to the same topics.
They don't trust themselves, so they feel like they have to convince everyone else for reassurance. Whether it's a proposal at work or a joke that didn't land, most awkward people can't help but make conversations weird by talking too much and overcompensating for their insecurity.
10. 'I know this person...'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Even if it seems like the perfect way to convince someone that you're cool or important, name-dropping almost always backfires. It reminds people that you don't think your own contributions or accomplishments are enough. It tells everyone that you need to cling to a more influential, important person to feel seen.
Sometimes, when people see right behind someone's name-dropping behavior, it can also make conversations way more awkward. Everyone, but the person seeking validation, knows what's happening and is stewing in that weird, uncomfortable tension.
11. 'I never said that'
MDV Edwards | Shutterstock
When we can sense someone's being fake or inauthentic, it can encourage us to resort to a place of distance and defensiveness. It makes everyone feel uncomfortable when they're around someone who seems inauthentic.
So, even if it's a defense mechanism for an awkward person to change their personality depending on who they're around, it usually sabotages the entire energy of an interaction. People are drawn to authenticity, but they're also pushed away by someone trying too hard to get attention.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
