People With Zero Integrity Almost Always Use These 11 Phrases When They Talk To You
BearFotos / Shutterstock People with little to no integrity rarely announce it outright. Instead, it often shows up in the way they speak. Their words often reveal a pattern of avoidance, manipulation, or self-interest that feels off, even if you can’t immediately explain why. In fact, people with zero integrity almost always use certain phrases when they talk to you.
Over time, these words become red flags, signaling a lack of accountability, honesty, or respect for others. What makes these phrases especially tricky is how ordinary they can sound on the surface. Many are framed as jokes, excuses, or harmless comments, which makes them easy to dismiss in the moment. But when you hear them repeatedly, especially in situations that require trust or responsibility, they start to form a pattern.
People with zero integrity almost always use these 11 phrases when they talk to you
1. ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about’
Branislav Nenin | Shutterstock.com
People with integrity work to boost understanding and compassion in all of their conversations. They feel a commitment to ensuring people feel validated and understood, even if it takes more time and effort to get there. However, people with zero integrity prefer to gaslight people to get what they want, using phrases like “you don’t know what you’re talking about” or “you’re overreacting” to spark self-doubt.
These galsighting behaviors are all intended to make people feel “crazy” and to feel more confused, so they’re easier to take advantage of. When a manipulative person with little integrity wants something, they’re not afraid to harm others or skew the narrative to get it.
2. ‘I never said that’
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock.com
While controlling your own narrative and learning to take accountability for your life story can be empowering, trying to change other people’s narrative or the story of a certain situation to protect your own comfort can be detrimental. People who gaslight others with phrases like “I never said that” and who always run from accountability when they’ve made a mistake try to control the narrative in a harmful way.
They’re trying to protect themselves from discomfort and safeguard their self-image from seeming weak, even if apologies and accountability are exactly what they need to secure better social relationships and dynamics.
3. ‘Everyone does it’
Goksi | Shutterstock.com
When you hurt someone or make a mistake and try to justify your behavior, rather than taking accountability, you’re essentially invalidating everyone around you. You’re breaking commitments and sabotaging trust, rather than bonding and growing from learning how to be better.
So, even if a person with zero integrity uses “everyone does it” as a way to protect their social image, all they’re doing is isolating themselves, hurting others by doubling down on their own toxic behavior, and making people feel wrong for expressing their hurt.
4. ‘Let’s just move on’
Media_photos | Shutterstock.com
People with zero integrity often run from accountability and try to cover their tracks when they make a mistake, even if it will inevitably be someone else’s problem to clean up. They’re always using phrases like “let’s just move on” to avoid taking accountability or apologizing, running from their fear of rejection or embarrassment.
According to licensed counselor Jamie Cannon, many people struggle with taking accountability today because they perceive mistakes to be a sign of weakness. Everyone wants to protect their self-image, even if it means missing out on the benefits of forgiveness and the bonding experiences that come from apologies and honesty.
5. ‘That’s not my responsibility’
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com
Taking responsibility for your mistakes and putting your comfort on the line to help others aren’t easy, but the most intelligent people with true integrity make an effort to do both. They’re not so entitled that they expect other people to clean up their messes, and they’re not afraid to put their needs to the side for a few moments to help someone who’s in need.
According to a 2013 study, people who regularly help others aren’t just building stronger relationships and practicing integrity, but they’re also relieving their own stress and protecting their long-term well-being. So, even if it takes a bit of selfishness to protect your stress levels or boost your health in order to help others, it’s still an advantageous behavior.
6. ‘It’s not my fault’
La Famiglia | Shutterstock.com
Whether this phrase stems from a lack of integrity, entitlement, poor accountability, or all three, people who run from responsibility in their lives often use it to protect themselves. They don’t want to get out of their comfort zone and expect people to clean up their messes for them.
Unfortunately, these kinds of behaviors and mentalities are becoming more common in our culture today, along with rising rates of narcissism. People feel superior to others and often uphold that misguided sense of power and control by avoiding accountability and shifting the narrative.
7. ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’
StratfordProductions | Shutterstock.com
Apologizing, making space for forgiveness, and validating people’s emotions tend to diffuse tension and craft more compassionate interactions. However, instead of crafting a safe space and accepting the need to apologize when they hurt people, individuals with zero integrity instead use phrases like “I’m sorry you feel that way” when they talk to you.
They care more about protecting themselves from feeling uncomfortable or needing to own up to their mistakes than ensuring the people around them feel seen, heard, and understood.
8. ‘That wasn’t wrong’
Geber86 | Shutterstock.com
According to a study published in Personnel Psychology, when professionals reflect on their mistakes, they tend to exhibit more humility, which in turn makes them better leaders in environments like the workplace. However, people with zero integrity lack the self-awareness to accept and change their behavior, because they refuse to admit when they’ve made a mistake.
Not only are they uncomfortable with looking inward and taking accountability, but they also often perceive their mistakes as “weaknesses” that spark anxiety and fear of rejection. So, of course, they’re more likely to double down on their behaviors and use phrases like “that wasn’t wrong,” even if it comes at the expense of their leadership, well-being, and social image.
9. ‘You’re so dramatic’
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock.com
On top of running from accountability and gaslighting people around them, people with zero integrity also tend to overstep people’s boundaries without a second thought. They don’t have a sense of humility that allows them to respect others, because they’re so self-centered and caught up in their own needs that they can't consider others.
“You’re so dramatic,” and “Why do you make everything a problem?” are just a couple of examples of excuses these individuals make in the face of someone setting a boundary. They’re not used to being uncomfortable or making space for others, so, of course, they don’t care much about respecting another person’s feelings or needs.
10. ‘You’re on your own’
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com
People who care about making space for others may also be more prone to guilt, and while that can cause a lot of emotional turmoil, it also makes them more trustworthy. They regularly apologize and avoid wrongdoings, sometimes more than they need to, but do tend to show up in a humble way to support and help others.
However, people with zero integrity and a lack of humility do the opposite. Not only do they avoid apologizing to people and putting their own needs aside to help others, but they also use phrases such as “you’re on your own” to justify it. They’re unreliable and untrustworthy because they’ll always make an excuse to focus on themselves.
11. ‘Did you hear about what they did?’
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock.com
Usually, as a tactic to avoid negative attention or to shift focus away from their mistakes, people with zero integrity will feed into gossip and spread rumors about other people.
Hannah Rose, LCPC, notes that "When we gossip, we are fertilizing our minds with toxicity and judgment. We are much more likely to scrutinize ourselves when we are busy scrutinizing others. We are significantly more susceptible to self-centered fear and the obsession that others are going to gossip about us."
Even if they’re harming another person’s social image or putting their well-being at risk by spreading rumors that aren’t true and talking negatively behind their back, people who do this protect their own sense of peace and comfort at the expense of others, which is the exact opposite of what it means to behave with integrity.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
