People With Actual Morals Almost Never Do These 11 Sketchy Things
KikoStock | Shutterstock Part of being human is making mistakes and doing things wrong. People with solid morals try to act according to their values so as to not cause harm. When they do something that harms someone, they take accountability. Having strong morals also means acting with fairness, empathy, and altruism, all of which can be considered "the first tier" of morality.
According to reporting in the Personality and Social Psychology Review, actions and traits that are judged as morally good or bad are defined in relation to cultural virtues, and at the core of morality is the idea that cooperation and empathy. A person's sense of morality is rooted in their self-awareness, which allows them to determine whether a decision facing them is moral. If they don't have adequate moral-awareness, they may find themselves doing sketchy things that people with solid morals almost never would do.
People with actual morals almost never do these 11 sketchy things
1. Manipulate other people's emotions
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People who lack solid morals often prey on other people's emotions. They see other people's emotions as a means to an end, something allows them to influence people's behavior to serve them. As relationship coach Stefanie Safran explains, "Emotional manipulators will distract, deflect, and confuse you to keep you off-balance."
"Emotional manipulators use misdirection and confusion to throw you off balance and put you on the defensive so you'll begin explaining yourself," she shares, noting that emotionally manipulative people will often twist your words and weaponize them against you.
In contrast, people with solid morals have high emotional intelligence that they utilize to better understand their own feelings, which helps them feel connected to others. When this connection is authentic, it is especially powerful for building healthy, sustainable connection.
While someone with bad morals uses emotions as a tool for coercion and manipulation, people with good morals hold space for how they feel and how others feel without any ulterior motives.
2. Deceive people
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Ethics and morality are part of all cultures in one for or another. These value are the reason communities expect people to abide by moral rules, like not stealing, lying, or cheating, and there are negative consequences for people who break those rules. These sketchy behaviors, if tolerated, can lead to the collapse of society.
While people with bad morals might lie and deceive people for their own gain, people with good morals tend to me honest most of the time. When they're not, they're self-aware enough to recognize it, and often apologize.
But people who lack solid morals will deceive people nearly any chance that it serves them. They will lie, obfuscate, omit when it benefits them, and most of the time they won't give a second thought to how this may affect others. Worse, when called out for it, they won't apologize, they'll likely to just continue their deceit.
3. Spread negative rumors
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Gossip is a common form of communication, one that has some positive implications, despite its negative connotations. According to information shared by the University of Maryland, gossip can promote social bonding and sustain cooperation in groups of people.
The study noted that gossip "disseminates information about people's reputations and as such enables people to choose to help cooperative others and avoid being exploited by selfish ones — a mechanism that is widely studied as indirect reciprocity that sustains cooperation." In other words, gossip that's based in truth can help protect people from others who want to cause them harm.
Yet gossip can also function as a way to tear people down and ruin their reputations, which is why people with good morals refrain from spreading any form of gossip at all. If gossip is divisive, causes more hurt than harm, or is used by people who have more social power to target others with less clout, it's likely that person lacks solid morals. They will likely turn on their friends eventually and do other sketchy things when opportunity presents itself.
4. Break promises and betray you
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People with good morals take their commitments seriously and don't make promises they can't keep. They follow through on what they said they would do, whether it's a small thing, like bringing cookies for the school bake sale, or something bigger, like being there for a friend after a bad date.
Breaking promises erodes trust, which is essential in any relationship. It might feel like there's no way back to trusting someone who hurt you, but as marriage and intimacy therapist Todd Creager points out, sometimes it's worth the effort.
"It makes sense to hold back trust," he explained. "It makes sense to be protective. However, if that continues for a long time, the problem is that now you are deprived of a close emotional and physical relationship."
In order to know if this person has solid morals or if they're simply a sketchy person, look at their behavior as a whole and whether they're apologetic and have empathy for your experience. If not, maybe it's better to let them go.
5. Take credit they didn't earn
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Over the course of a lifetime, most of us come into contact with people who will do anything to get ahead, including taking credit that isn't theirs to take. Maybe you've had a co-worker who pretended they took the lead on a project, when it was actually a team effort. Maybe you've had a boss who took credit for work they didn't even do.
No matter what the context is, people who take credit they didn't earn usually lack solid morals and is likely to throw under the bus on their way to the top. In contrast, people with solid. morals value honesty enough to give credit where it's due, even if it means someone advances ahead of them.
People with solid morals know that the best work comes from collaboration. That's because they realize everyone has their own set of skills and strengths that combine to make something bigger and better than anything they could do alone.
6. Engage in harmful competition
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People with good morals don't get trapped playing the comparison game. They don't compete with other people unnecessarily because they fully understand how harmful it is to give into petty grudges.
As life transformation coach Natalie Maximets explains, "the desire to compare ourselves with someone else is a normal function of the brain. It makes it easier to determine our significance and motivates us to self-development." She also warns that it can get out of hand and stand in the way of people loving themselves.
According to an article from the University of Colorado, Denver, "when competition is the main source of people’s motivation, they are no longer motivated when the competition ends," which can stifle perrsonal growth.
While a little healthy competition can spark growth and creativity, harmful competition does the opposite. It makes people petty, and people with solid morals will almost never resort to pettiness.
7. Blame others for their mistakes
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People who have solid morals are willing to take full responsibility for being wrong and focus on repair as the path forward. Of course, nobody does this perfectly. Everyone, even the most moral people, will cause harm, whether on purpose or inadvertently. The key is what they do after they've hurt someone that makes a difference.
People with solid morals do more than just say they're sorry; they take steps to understand why their actions were hurtful and work to change their behavior. By taking responsibility for their mistakes, they show just how deeply moral they are. People with sketchy ethics are more likely to blame others.
As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes for Berkeley's Greater Good, taking responsibility can even bring people hope, writing, "The ethic of responsibility is the best answer I know to the meaning and meaningfulness of life."
8. Disrespect people's beliefs
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Another thing people with solid morals simply won't do is disrespect people's beliefs, even when they disagree. When they don't see eye-to-eye with someone, they may share their perspective or counter the other person's perspective respectfully, but they won't disrespect their faith, culture or values.
That's because people who are secure in their position aren't harmed by disagreement and don't need to react from fear or shame. They accept differences of opinion as they understand that everyone's perspective is rooted in their life experiences, culture and more.
This open-mindedness is also a sign they have high intelligence, as IQ and openness are directly related. They know that not everyone has to think the same way they think to deserve respect. People without solid morals will stoop low to "win" an argument with someone they disagree with, including disrespecting their beliefs.
9. Ignore opportunities for personal growth
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People with solid morals don't ignore the need for personal growth, even when that growth is painful or difficult. They strive to be the best versions of themselves, because that lets them show up as their most authentic selves in all areas of their lives.
Self-improvement comes from being self-aware. As life coach Debra Smouse reveales, "If you want to create and live a life you love, then you need to dig into who you are and what you really want."
"Those uncomfortable feelings are doing an important job," Smouse continues. "They're alerting you to some aspect of your life that needs tending or cultivated before you can move forward. You deserve to live a life you love. In order to create it, you need to know the most important tool you have to do so: knowing yourself."
People who aren't guided by morals don't want to grow. They don't feel they need to be better, and that keeps them stuck in their own misery.
10. Hold themselves above others
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People with solid morals have a highly developed sense of self-worth, which gives them the inner strength they need to accept themselves as they are without believing they are the best.
People with good morals don't have a superiority complex. They see themselves as existing on an equal plane as other people, and they have respect for others whereas those with sketchy morals need to believe they are better than others.
People with good morals don't use their inner moral compass as a way to feel superior, but rather, a tool to guide how they interact with others and form relationships. They value equality and view people with compassion, which is why they simply won't hold themselves above others.
11. Exploit others for their own gain
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People with solid morals don't strike out at people when they're down; rather, they reach out their hands and help lift people up. They walk the path of justice, which means they don't take advantage of people, even if the opportunity to do so presents itself. Their morals are a light post, leading them from darkness.
These people don't mind taking the longer, harder road, as long as they're not exploiting anyone else. They take care of their own needs, yet they don't neglect the needs of other people, and they refuse to exploit others just so they can win.
Once you know how to spot someone with solid morals, hold them close. After all, they are rare and to be treasured.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
