Men With Low Emotional Intelligence Often Do These 7 Petty Things Instead Of Just Being Honest
When men lack emotional intelligence, honesty takes a backseat.
shironosov | Canva Why do guys act like jerks all of a sudden? Often, it may be because being rude is their coping mechanism for dealing with their emotions. When men get overrun by emotions, they tend to use a coping mechanism that is not always flattering and easily misunderstood by women, and in the end, it just makes them look petty.
In this day and age, it is all about how men have to understand women, show compassion, be tender, attentive, and become the harlequin romance hero on one hand, and on the other hand, they haven't learned how the express their own basic emotions, leading to low emotional intelligence and weird behaviors as a result.
Men with low emotional intelligence often do these 7 petty things instead of just being honest:
1. They party hard
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It sounds very classic. When going through a breakup, the guy starts drinking and partying. Often, this is seen as "I don't care," "I'm glad that I got rid of her," and "Let's move on to the next lady."
But it can also mean, "I miss my partner terribly and I don't know what to do with myself, and a party is one way of taking my mind off my breakup."
This pattern reveals one of the most common yet counterproductive ways people handle emotional pain. Rather than processing difficult feelings or communicating honestly about their struggles, some individuals throw themselves into a whirlwind of parties, drinking, and social chaos as an elaborate distraction mechanism.
2. They act like a cat in distress
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Don't tell the guys this, but when a guy feels cornered, they behave like a cat in distress. They lash out with everything they've got, and language is the first thing they use, combined with the body language they know that will tick the partner off.
People with low emotional intelligence often struggle to regulate intense negative emotions like anger and frustration. A recent study explained that without effective coping skills, they are more prone to lashing out, having emotional outbursts, or reacting aggressively.
3. They do something unnecessarily reckless or risky
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Some of the guys will engage in activities that give them an adrenaline rush, something you see on Outrageous Acts Of Science. Something that makes most women go "Really? That's stupid." But it is their way of showing off their manhood.
Research has found that the same parts of the brain involved in emotion regulation also influence impulsive and risk-taking behaviors. This can result in a tendency toward sensation-seeking, where men engage in risky activities for the thrill rather than for a deeper sense of fulfillment.
4. They strut around with rooster-like swagger
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Then you have a group who will show off their confidence by what I like to call "the rooster" behavior. They walk around as if they own the world, and hide their insecurities behind a mask of "I know it all."
If you start questioning their knowledge, they get defensive and can fall back on another coping skill, like getting rude and angry.
Overconfidence makes it difficult to accurately assess your own skills and performance, according to a 2021 study. This can be especially damaging to emotional intelligence, which relies on a keen understanding of one's own emotions, strengths, and weaknesses.
5. They make inappropriate jokes
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Humor is a great stress reliever, but you have to know your audience when you engage in humor. Men dealing with inner pain often have no filter. The language they use can be rude and offensive to certain people.
Research has shown that the use of aggressive, inappropriate, or demeaning jokes points to an inability to accurately perceive and understand the emotions of others. A person with low emotional intelligence may fail to grasp that their humor causes discomfort or hurt feelings and may dismiss negative reactions.
6. They suddenly lose basic manners
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Everybody has habits that even you're not aware of. So when your man acts out of character, you have to ask yourself, "Why? Is he contemplating a problem? Is he mad or disappointed?
Did something happen that threw him off kilter?" If so, you can see it in their mesmerisms that they are unbalanced.
When someone who is typically polite, considerate, and well-mannered suddenly becomes rude, dismissive, or inconsiderate, it's often a sign that they're struggling internally but lack the emotional tools to express what's really going on. Instead of addressing the root issue honestly, they unconsciously push people away through poor treatment.
7. They completely shut down
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Non-communicative men do their own thing without acknowledging your feelings or wishes. In other words, they shut you out and don't seem to care how that hurts you. Yes, the coping mechanisms the guys use are not easy to deal with.
As a woman, I get that, but if you want a successful relationship, you'd better start figuring out the coping method your guy uses. This will save you grief, frustration, and miscommunication that can lead to a breakup, and in turn, it will give you a relationship that is built on understanding, compassion, and equality. Communication is a two-way street.
Ellen Nyland is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) trained by Coaching Training Institute in San Rafael in California, since 2008, and the author of Life is Great Even When it Sucks.
