People With Low Intelligence Usually Get Defensive About These 11 Topics

Many people who struggle with emotional intelligence and emotional regulation skills also tend to be more defensive in their relationships and conversations, at least according to a study from Personality and Individual Differences. When they’re met with feedback, confidence, or even concerns, they take it as a personal attack against their own misguided superiority or self-image, and rely on defensiveness or avoidance for a fleeting sense of control.

People with low intelligence usually get defensive about certain topics like these, but it stems from a place of insecurity. So, even if it’s a vulnerability about issues in a relationship, these people are too caught up in their own struggles and feelings to make space for others.

People with low intelligence usually get defensive about these 11 topics

1. Admitting they were wrong

man looking at phone struggling with admitting he was wrong fizkes | Shutterstock

People who refuse to admit when they’re wrong are often operating from a place of insecurity that sabotages their accountability skills. They are deeply insecure and often tie their self-image to their self-worth, so it’s not surprising that they think asking for help, apologizing, or admitting they’re wrong is a weakness.

This lack of accountability often sabotages every aspect of their lives. From a lack of effort in the workplace to a disconnection and resentment in their personal relationships, their inability to be “wrong” harms it all.

2. Constructive criticism and feedback

woman offering constructive criticism and feedback at work Gorgev | Shutterstock

Even in places where it’s openly normalized, like in the workplace, many people are inherently uncomfortable with constructive criticism and feedback. That’s part of the reason why many people prefer “evaluative feedback,” because it’s unchangeable, and often feels less pointed, according to a study from the Journal of Experimental Psychology.

However, people with low intelligence are more likely to get defensive in the face of any feedback. They struggle to challenge themselves and grow on any level, but specifically feel like feedback is a reminder of their weaknesses, rather than an opportunity.

3. Relationship issues

couple with relationship issues looking upset PeopleImages | Shutterstock

Most people don’t get defensive when they feel like they’ve been wrongly accused, but rather when someone points out something that affirms the negative beliefs and insecurities they already cope with internally. So, if someone feels insecure about how much they argue with their partner, and they express their discomfort openly, a person with low intelligence may get defensive quickly.

But vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. To have healthy, productive, and balanced relationships, you have to be willing to not only express your complex emotions and fears, but also hear out your partner and craft a safe space for them to do the same.

4. Getting outside their comfort zone

man getting outside his comfort zone at work mavo | Shutterstock

According to a Psychological Science study, growing on a personal level happens when you seek out discomfort. Whether it’s getting out of your comfort zone or accepting challenges and working through them, people with a strong sense of intelligence and resilience aren’t afraid to tolerate discomfort for long-term growth.

However, people with low intelligence don’t want to be challenged — they want everything to be easy and convenient. They often get defensive when people urge them to step outside of their comfort zone and challenge themselves, while their intelligent counterparts appreciate the opportunity to learn something new and build their resilience.

5. Differing opinions

man talking to his daughter with differing opinions sebra | Shutterstock

If a low-intelligence person is forced to think broadly, consider that their opinion is “wrong,” or urged to look at something from a different perspective, they’re quick to get defensive.

They often think in a strict binary of “right” and “wrong,” so if they’re not immediately gratified for being correct about something, they’re not interested in entertaining anyone or anything else.

6. Silence

woman looking uncomfortable with silence on her phone Mix and Match Studio | Shutterstock

Of course, periods of silence in our personal lives and alone time can be incredibly healthy for brain, mental, and physical well-being, but it’s equally powerful in passing conversations and relationships. Silence doesn’t always have to be “awkward,” and the most intelligent people often cultivate it intentionally for reflection and regulation.

However, people with low intelligence usually get defensive and frustrated about silence. They’re always trying to uphold a certain social narrative and fill the space to seek attention, even if what everyone needs is a moment to think and breathe.

7. Not knowing something

woman annoyed by not knowing something MAYA LAB | Shutterstock

While highly intelligent people are comfortable admitting when they’re wrong and building stronger connections by asking for help, people with low intelligence usually get defensive when they don’t know something. Especially if their self-worth is tied to overconfidence or misguided portrayals of intelligence, not knowing something can feel like a “weakness,” rather than a learning or growth opportunity.

They don’t ask for help and often cultivate a misguided narrative in the face of their ignorance, even if it leads to more struggle, disconnection, and low intelligence in the future.

8. Follow-up questions

man getting defensive over woman's follow-up questions Rawpixel.com | Shutterstock

Sometimes, being overly protective of one's confidence or self-assured identity can actually be a sign of weakness. If someone isn’t interested in having collaborative conversations, asking for help, and leaning into challenges, their strength and confidence could be a ruse.

That’s why people with low intelligence usually get defensive when they have to defend their own expertise around follow-up questions — their overconfidence is false. Research also shows that it’s often overconfident people who are less productive and successful. They overpromise and boast about skills that they don’t end up actually leveraging for success.

So, when they’re asked to “prove” their promises or asked follow-up questions about the expertise they claim to have, of course they get defensive.

9. Changing their mind

defensive man changing his mind at work Branislav Nenin | Shutterstock

While some experts suggest that most people are relatively resistant to changing their minds, especially about inherently personal or controversial topics, individuals with lower intelligence tend to become extra defensive about these topics.

They constantly need to be reassured and reaffirmed that their beliefs and opinions are “right,” which leads to changing their minds, becoming an admission of weakness or “wrongness” that they’re entirely uncomfortable with.

They need to be “right” because their self-esteem and sense of self-worth revolve around it, even if they stay stagnant and insecure by maintaining it.

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10. Contradictions

defensive woman annoyed about contradictions at work Raushan_films | Shutterstock

If someone points out anything that contradicts a low-intelligence person’s beliefs, opinions, or thoughts, they often get defensive immediately. That’s part of the reason why low self-esteem often leads to envy, according to a study from the Journal of Research in Personality.

They need to be “right” all the time, and if someone points out flaws or evidence that suggests otherwise, they’re immediately envious of the people who are “right” and shut down from productive conversations.

They’re always coping with an underlying sense of insecurity that comes from a lack of personal growth and accountability. They don’t know when to admit when they don’t know something or are wrong, so they miss out on chances to build their own thoughtful confidence and long-term growth.

11. Comparisons

man talking about comparisons with a friend Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock

People with low intelligence often struggle with internally gratifying themselves and coping with or regulating emotions prompted by their insecurities. That’s why they often turn to external validation and attention-seeking behaviors for a sense of control, no matter how misguided they really are.

However, when other people start to compare them and subtly point out “weaknesses” or “flaws,” they get defensive. They have built up a misguided sense of superiority and ego over others to protect their internal instability and lack of regulation skills, and when other people compare them or point out places where they could grow, they shut down.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.