There Are Only 4 People Whose Feedback Matters In Life, According To Relationship Expert
You shouldn't care what others think, except for the opinions of a select few.
Aleksandr Minakov | Unsplash It seems to be a popular attitude to have these days to "not care what people think" about you. Sure, it's freeing, but I've seen people go about this the wrong way countless times.
According to a 2013 study, while it's natural for people to care about what others think, excessive concern can be detrimental to mental health and well-being. Does it matter what people think? Of course, it does — especially when it comes to these four specific people in your life.
There are only four people whose feedback matters in life, according to relationship expert:
1. Your true friends
It matters what your friends think of you. They're your friends because they like you (hopefully). If they thought negatively of you, you'd lose them.
The feedback from true friends matters because they offer genuine, caring opinions that are grounded in your well-being and best interests, unlike views from others who might be motivated by jealousy or other negative emotions. This honesty helps you grow and develop by challenging you without diminishing you, ultimately leading you to become your best self.
2. Your partner
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It matters what your significant other thinks of you. How they see you is the whole reason they're with you.
This feedback matters because it comes from someone who knows you intimately, cares deeply, and wants your well-being to be a top priority. This makes their perspective valuable for personal growth, relationship dynamics, and overall happiness.
3. Your colleagues
It matters what your co-workers think of you. Do you hold a position that requires teamwork? A position where someone has the authority to replace you if they wish? A position that requires you to obtain or keep clients?
Colleague feedback is valuable because it provides a real-world perspective on your work, strengths, and areas for improvement. It can also strengthen relationships, boost morale, and foster a culture of open communication, leading to better teamwork and collaboration.
4. The people who sign your paycheck
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It matters what your boss or clients think of you. If you're employed and your boss doesn't trust you or think you're cut from good moral cloth, your employment will be short-lived. If you're self-employed and your business requires others to patronize it (what business doesn't?), and you don't have a good reputation, you cannot expect it to last very long.
If you injected an "I don't care what you think" attitude into any of the above situations, my guess is your thoughts would change very quickly. On the other hand, it doesn't matter what people think, either.
- It doesn't matter if someone thinks you can't accomplish something.
- It doesn't matter if someone thinks you shouldn't pursue your dreams.
- It doesn't matter if someone thinks your rights should be oppressed because of what they believe.
- It doesn't matter if someone thinks you're not good enough.
- It doesn't matter if someone thinks that the girl or guy is out of your league.
And it doesn't matter if some random stranger on the internet makes you feel bad about yourself (I'm looking at you, Internet trolls.)
Holding a generally apathetic attitude needs to be focused in the right direction. First, it can drive people away from you more than bring them closer. Secondly, it makes people around you feel unwanted and unimportant.
You're just focusing on yourself and don't care what anyone thinks or how they feel. When it comes to those important in your life, if you don't care what they think of your personality and act accordingly, you could lose a friend, a loved one, or an income.
However, when it comes to your abilities, your goals, your dreams, or your passions, never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. If you have anyone around you who makes you feel like you can't have anything you want, you need to cut them out of your life.
Ultimately, we must care for others. But in the end, we must also live for ourselves.
James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach. He is a go-to expert on CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.
