People Who Never Post Their Personal Lives On Social Media Usually Have These 11 Rare Personality Traits
Are they unsuspectingly cool and mysterious?
Look Studio | Shutterstock Social media tends to get a bad rap, but the truth is: it’s not all bad. Many people make great connections, maintain their social circles, build their own sense of identity, and find community online, without succumbing to the mental health and social issues that others find themselves battling. However, experts from Harvard University argue that an occasional detox, disconnection from social media, or healthy boundaries can never hurt.
It offers space for people to build emotional intelligence, practice self-discipline, and cultivate more connection and empathy with the people already around them. In fact, people who never post their personal lives on social media usually have these rare personality traits. They may still scroll occasionally or post things on Instagram, but they’re intentional about their boundaries with sharing truly personal information.
People who never post their personal lives on social media usually have these 11 rare personality traits
1. They have strong boundaries
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Setting boundaries with social media, like blocking unhelpful accounts, setting time limits, and being private about personal details, isn’t always easy, but it can help promote a healthier relationship with your phone and even safeguard your mental health.
People who never post their personal lives on social media usually have this rare personality trait — they’re not only self-aware enough to realize they need boundaries with their phones, but emotionally intelligent and secure enough to stick to them.
2. They’re private
Stokkete | Shutterstock
Keeping certain parts of your personal life private, whether it’s on social media or at work, can often enhance emotional well-being and contribute to a more stable sense of self, at least according to a study from the University of Phoenix.
Of course, people who never post their personal lives on social media aren’t isolating themselves from deep connections with others — they're simply saving those vulnerable moments, conversations, and admissions of personal information for the people they truly love and trust.
They often have healthier relationships because of their boundaries with privacy and social media — the people they love feel valued and appreciated for having that piece of a person to themselves.
3. They live in the moment
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Rather than trying to get the perfect Instagram shot on an outing with friends or scrolling mindlessly on social media at home, people who never post their personal lives on social media instead live in the moment. Of course, it’s possible to post a lot on social media and still appreciate being present, but it’s often difficult, with a strong pull to maintain an image or stay “connected” with people online.
Being on social media can enrich a person’s life, like a Pew Research Center study explains, by connecting people with loved ones and forming online communities. But when it’s used without boundaries, it can pigeonhole people into a fully digital reality devoid of in-person social connection and interaction.
4. They avoid drama
InesBazdar | Shutterstock
Pockets of positive content on social media can boost our mood, but with the way of the algorithm and what’s most popular online, it’s often negativity and drama that get boosted on our feeds the most. People can quickly become emotionally drained by negative headlines, news, and videos on social media, without even realizing it’s affecting their general health offline.
People who never post their personal lives on social media and avoid looking for validation and attention from their feeds often avoid drama entirely. They’re not pressured into continually coming back to social media for fulfillment, so they have boundaries that protect them from the emotional contagion of negativity.
5. They’re deep thinkers
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
According to a study from Brain Sciences, being on social media and constantly engaging with “brain rot” online often negatively affects cognitive processes and critical thinking. That’s why people who never post their personal lives on social media usually have these rare personality traits.
They set boundaries that protect their minds and brains from constant overload. When they’re hanging out with friends, going to a concert, or spending time at home, they’re crafting offline hobbies that genuinely add value to their lives, both socially and internally.
6. They’re not performative
we.bond.creations | Shutterstock
Of course, not everyone who shares their lives, creates, and posts on social media is inherently performative, but many people lean on social media for validation and attention that they can’t offer themselves internally. People who never post on social media have to learn how to internally gratify themselves, rather than posting for likes and comments from other people for approval or confidence.
They’re not performative, but deep thinkers, intuitive people, and observers. They appreciate learning about themselves and building their own authentic identity without the pressure from trends, validation, or attention online.
7. They’re authentic
DavideAngelini | Shutterstock
Many people with healthy boundaries on social media and an aura of privacy about their personal lives are inherently more authentic. They’re not consuming tons of content about the latest trends, trying to “fit in,” or spending on influencer favorites — they’re crafting a lifestyle that suits them, not the users they’re engaging with online.
Of course, people who perceive themselves as authentic on social media also experience greater life satisfaction, mental health, and self-image, according to a study from Computers in Human Behavior. So, it’s possible to have both, but it requires a great deal of self-discipline and healthy boundaries to achieve.
8. They’re self-disciplined
Chay_Tee | Shutterstock
According to a PLOS One study, people with poor self-control and discipline on social media tend to experience worsened life satisfaction and mindfulness in their everyday routines. Whether it’s doomscrolling as a distraction against discomfort or trying to find belonging by feeding into trends, people who don’t have self-control often warp their own identities and sense of self.
People who never post their personal lives on social media may feel a constant pressure to do so — from friends, family, jobs, or the internet as a collective — but their self-discipline maintains their boundaries. They’re not afraid to stray away from the crowd for the sake of their own well-being and identity.
9. They’re emotionally intelligent and regulated
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
People who never post their personal lives on social media have to be emotionally intelligent, as it takes a great deal of self-awareness and regulation to avoid the pressures of engaging and posting online. Not only are they internally gratified, not seeking validation by posting for others online, they’re also self-aware, intentional, and empathetic in a way that only people with strong boundaries with social media can truly be.
Even taking a two-week detox from social media can improve your mental health, emotional stability, self-image, life satisfaction, and relationships, according to a study from Behavioral Sciences. It gives your brain a moment to rest, outside the constant information and stress of social media, and reconnects you with your emotional self.
10. They’re secure in their identity
Julia Zavalishina | Shutterstock
Outside of sheer authenticity and self-love, people who never post their personal lives on social media are also less likely to fall into the trap of comparison culture. They don’t compare their lives to the curated feeds of other people online, because they’re too busy living it and reworking it to better suit their happiness and needs.
For people prone to comparing themselves to others, social media habits and depression become interlinked. They can’t scroll, engage with, or post themselves online without internalized shame or embarrassment about their own lives.
11. They’re okay with being misunderstood
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock
Many misunderstand people who don’t post their personal lives on social media or maintain a curated image of themselves for people to judge online — and they’re perfectly okay with that. They’re emotionally regulated and internally secure enough to find people and relationships that fill their cup in person, rather than seeking out that attention online.
Being chronically misunderstood by the people in your life can lead to mental health struggles and frustrations with belonging, but when misunderstandings are coming from people they don’t know online, it’s far less influential.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
