People Who Need To Be Liked By Strangers Usually Do These 11 Cringe Things Online
ShotPrime Studio / Shutterstock If there's one thing that we all know about the Internet, it's that it's pretty easy to become someone we might not even like in real life. Some people are just way too committed to how easy it is to receive validation from strangers online and will go above and beyond to be liked by people they don't even know.
We see these people who need to be liked by strangers do cringe things online all of the time in an effort to make themselves look effortlessly cool and mysterious. While there's nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be liked, it might not be a great idea to let that desire affect every single aspect of your personality if it means that you're not being your most authentic self.
People who need to be liked by strangers usually do these 11 cringe things online
1. Oversharing every minor inconvenience
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These are the people who will hop on their Instagram story with a million and one slides, complaining or ranting about something minor that happened to them. It could be something as simple as the fact that they ran out of milk and creamer for their morning coffee, or that they slipped on an ice patch while on their way to work. They need to narrate it as if it's some urgent, breaking news.
"Pretending all is well when it isn’t just adds to the pain. Honestly sharing some details of our experiences is valuable and often, healthy," insists wellness expert Polly Campbell. But sometimes oversharing isn't the best move.
While there's nothing wrong with using social media to vent about something that's annoying, the difference is that these people will tell the story with the intensity of someone who thinks that their followers will be absolutely appalled and hanging on to their every word for dear life. Some minor inconveniences don't need to be broadcast all over your social media. After all, that's what writing in journals is for.
2. Copy-pasting inspirational quotes with no context
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It's not the quotes themselves that are bad most of the time. In fact, they can be quite sweet and uplifting to read. But when they're copy-pasted with no caption, no commentary, or zero explanation, it can start to feel like they're looking to curate a certain vibe rather than just being a real person. These people might choose quotes that hint at the fact that they might be going through a heartbreak or betrayal. On the other hand, they might post quotes to show that they're experiencing high levels of success and happiness.
"There is something a bit unsettling about the way social media networks are constantly trying to rate their users. How many people 'liked' your post today?" said relationship expert Beverly D. Flaxington. "Pressure to be socially accepted and celebrated can be too much to handle, and can adversely affect the self-esteem of many social media users."
Either way, the vague posting of them can make it seem as if they're seeking a bit of attention from their followers, and this innate desire to be liked. They want people to swipe up and ask questions about what's going on in their lives, and at that point, it just feels a bit inauthentic.
3. Constantly hinting at drama
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There's always that one person who seems to treat the internet and their social media page like a reality TV show. They're constantly hinting at drama without ever giving any details about what's going on. They might post subliminal messages and then disappear. Similar to the inspirational quotes, it'll be something full of zero context and no follow-up.
It's usually the classic move of someone who wants both attention and validation without just outright admitting that's what they're looking for. The vague dramatics are something they thrive on. The real story behind their postings might not even be drama at all, but they might end up milking the situation to have more eyes on them. They want their followers and the world to assume that something big is happening so they can soak up the spotlight without ever having to fully explain themselves.
"Remember, not everyone is entitled to witness your struggles. By choosing the right audience and outlet, you ensure your emotions are met with the care and understanding they deserve, fostering growth and resilience in a way that strengthens your mental and emotional health," encouraged psychologist Tara Well.
4. Adopting strong opinions they don't actually care about
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Rather than forming their own opinions, these people who need to be liked will go online and simply follow the majority's opinions. They don't want to go against the grain because they don't want to risk people not liking them for not sharing their opinion. The truth of the matter is, though, no one should want to be around people who can't handle it when others don't agree with them.
"But open-mindedness is not a weakness. It is a strength rooted in intellectual humility — recognizing that no one has all the answers and that every perspective has something to teach us. It takes courage to say 'I don’t know' or to reconsider a belief in light of new evidence," explained behavioral expert Sam Goldstein.
Unless it comes down to morality and social issues, a person's opinion should be their own, and they should be welcome in spaces without the fear of not being accepted because they don't agree on something trivial. But for those who have this need to be liked, every opinion needs to be popular and perfectly curated online.
5. Pretending their DMs are full
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These people will get online and make it seem as if their DMs are full of people trying to talk to them, giving off the illusion that they're not only liked but also popular. In reality, it's probably just a few messages from their friends and that random family member.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with not having an overflow of DM messages either, but those who need to be liked by strangers want people to think they're being bombarded by messages because they're just so interesting and important. Even if no one is actually sliding into their DMs, they put up this façade that they're so desirable to anyone who's watching.
6. Responding to stories from strangers as if they're best friends
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By replying to every single Instagram story from people they follow, they're hoping to strike up a connection based solely on whether they're liked by them. There's absolutely nothing wrong with replying to a person's story when you have something to say or comment on. Still, there's a big difference when you're replying out of a pure need to form a performative relationship.
"We all wear masks and build facades to protect ourselves, but humans naturally crave interaction and connection with other humans. Showing vulnerability and sharing your true self with someone else starts with the ability to listen and sit in their space, in order for them to want to share their world with you," pointed out licensed psychotherapist Pam Willsey.
They want strangers to think they're just effortlessly friendly and relatable, even if in real life they would probably never start a conversation with someone they barely know. Any connection or relationship needs to start off with some sort of authentic desire. It can't just be born from this need to be liked by strangers, and just having a lot of friends for the quantity rather than the quality.
7. Pretending their life is aesthetically perfect
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There's just no way to beat around the bush on this. No one's life is perfect, ever. But the beauty of being on social media is that it's always easy to make your life come across as something that people should be jealous of. Those who need to be liked by strangers make sure every photo has the best lighting, their outfit is trendy, and the filter makes them look airbrushed and put-together.
They might only post when they're on vacation or when they're doing something exciting. While there's nothing wrong with that, it can become a problem when it's born from a need to be validated about how cool and fun you are. They want strangers to think their life is so visually pleasing because that's the kind of attention that they thrive on.
8. Posting overly-choreographed 'candid' photos
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The funny part about people doing this is that their photos are anything but casual. They spend all that time trying to figure out the right angle, how the background looks, or if their face looks weird in that one shot, that they completely miss the point of it being a candid photo in the first place. It's this constant back-and-forth of trying to appear natural in a candid photo, but then going above and beyond to make sure it's meticulously put together.
Part of the reason why people might do this is so they can get the likes, comments, and reactions. They are seeking attention from strangers online to make themselves feel good. But the truth of that matter is, no matter how many likes and comments you're getting from people you don't know, it'll only be temporary.
9. Constantly asking if they look okay
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There's always that one person who just can't seem to post anything without asking people if they look okay or not. Whether it's asking for feedback on their outfit, hair, makeup, or even photos they've just taken, it's a classic sign that they're craving approval from complete strangers and hoping someone will validate them enough.
It's rarely even about whatever photo they're asking for feedback on. It's usually just about getting reassurance to make themselves feel good. They thrive on reassurance from other people rather than being able to give it to themselves. As much as compliments from people can feel good, they should never replace how you can view yourself. You should know that you're more than enough on your own.
10. Following thousands of people hoping for follow-backs
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People who need to be liked by strangers will almost always follow as many people as humanly possible online, in hopes of gaining more followers themselves. Their feed pretty much turns into a numbers game, and their strategy is that the more people who follow them, the better their posts will perform. They believe that if that happens, they'll end up feeling good about themselves. It's more validation from complete strangers at the end of the day.
They constantly check back to see who has followed them and take it seriously, even though social media shouldn't be taken seriously unless you're doing it for a job. Even if you are doing it for a job, there are definitely moments when you need to ground yourself back in reality. Constantly seeking to be liked by strangers and hoping they'll follow you back so that you can feel more successful will only be a disservice to you and your well-being.
11. Fishing for praise through self-deprecation
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Some people online will post about how terrible they look today or question why they even posted that photo in the first place because they don't look their best, but underneath these self-deprecating comments is a need for approval. First of all, these people rarely even look bad in their photos, but by putting themselves down first, they're inviting their audience to build them back up.
"Without realizing it, you may be negatively impacting your effectiveness by seeking others’ approval. This is because you probably avoid doing things that are important to you, feel anxious about trying new things outside your comfort zone, and get stuck worrying about what others might expect from you," said psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen.
It might work too. That instant dopamine rush from seeing all the messages and likes pouring in from complete strangers validating you can feel good at first. But you should be able to reassure and validate yourself. Everyone has bad days where they might not look their best, but you should be able to lift yourself up without the approval of strangers. It might seem harmless, but it can quickly become a constant cycle of needing approval to feel okay when posting anything.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
