11 Things That Instantly Annoy True Introverts But Extroverts Love
Introverts and extroverts see these things extremely differently.
GaudiLab / Shutterstock Introverts and extroverts could not be more different. True introverts have a social battery that can quickly run out. They value quiet time to themselves where they can do some of their favorite hobbies. True introverts love activities like reading and watching TV or movies at home, while extroverts would much rather be out and about socializing.
True introverts’ brains are wired differently from those of extroverts. They respond differently to social rewards than extroverts do. While extroverts are constantly seeking that reward, introverts are quieter and are not motivated by that same social prize. Introverts can find social rewards to be annoying and unnecessary. Their motivation comes from internal happiness rather than external happiness. It’s no surprise that there are many things that extroverts love that instantly annoy true introverts.
These are 11 things that instantly annoy true introverts but extroverts love
1. Loud talking
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Introverts thrive with quiet time. It allows them to charge their social battery. When it comes to quiet time, extroverts can’t stand it. They would rather have loud conversations than moments of silence.
Introverts tend to be more sensitive to noise than extroverts are. They struggle with socializing around people who are loud and dominate the room with their voices. Even a crowded room with too many people talking can be overwhelming for true introverts, but extroverts love the opportunity to socialize with as many people as possible.
2. Random invitations to socialize
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True introverts have to mentally prepare themselves for social situations. Extroverts love planning hangouts at the last minute, and this instantly annoys true introverts.
It’s easier for an introvert to enjoy their social time when they know about it in advance. They can plan ahead for the day by making sure they get their alone time before or after. When an extrovert randomly asks them to hang out, it can truly annoy them.
3. Surprise phone calls
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Nothing can spur more anxiety for a true introvert than a random phone call. They’d much prefer to text than talk on the phone.
Introverts are more likely to have social anxiety than their extroverted counterparts. Talking on the phone can be difficult for introverts who thrive with the written word. Phone conversations can be hard for introverts to read without the visual cues. Add in the surprise socialization aspect, and true introverts will be annoyed.
4. Deep eye contact
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The energy of others can drain introverts. It’s no secret that locking eyes with someone can be overwhelming and annoying for true introverts.
Extroverts are comfortable making direct eye contact with people. For introverts, constant eye contact can feel like another social chore that depletes their battery. True introverts much prefer casual eye contact to long, strenuous sessions of looking deeply into someone’s eyes.
5. Not respecting personal space
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Personal space means everything to introverts. Keeping space between themselves and others allows them room to breathe in social situations or their quiet downtime. When an extrovert encroaches on this, it instantly annoys true introverts.
Research has found that extroverts are more likely to stand physically close to people while socializing, whereas introverts value their own space.
6. Belittling their choice to spend time alone
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Introverts need to recharge. Constant socialization is overwhelming for them. They need their own space to regulate their emotions, engage in creativity, and gain self-awareness.
Introverts and extroverts respond differently to dopamine. “Dopamine is a feel-good chemical the brain produces in response to pleasurable pursuits. While introverts and extroverts have the same amount of dopamine in their brains, extroverts have a more active dopamine reward network,” says Dr. Lisa MacLean. “So, when extroverts prepare for a party, they feel motivated, energized and excited. An introvert may feel a sense of dread — or just less enthusiasm — under the same circumstances.”
Introverts can become instantly annoyed when extroverts fail to respect their need for alone time, as their brains don’t respond to the dopamine that comes with socializing the same way they do.
7. Forced conversations
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We’ve all been there: forced to have small talk with someone new or a person we don't know well. For some, this is an easy process, but for true introverts, it can be a struggle.
Introverts value their time and ability to socialize. They can find forced conversations exhausting. Extroverts love talking with anyone they can, but that can instantly annoy a true introvert.
8. Drama and gossip
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It’s exhausting for introverts to deal with drama and gossip. They are not fans of conflict and do not get as much joy out of gossiping as extroverts.
A study conducted by The Myers-Briggs Company found that 18% of introvert types were discouraged or demotivated by conflict, while only 7% of extroverts were. Starting a conflict with an introvert is a sure way to annoy them.
9. Calling their hobbies boring
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Introverts love activities that quiet their minds. Hobbies like reading, yoga, and puzzles help calm them and are great ways to recharge their social batteries.
For extroverts, these tasks are boring. When they voice those opinions to introverts, it can instantly annoy them. They don’t appreciate their important alone time being criticized. It’s something they desperately need to keep themselves on track.
10. Inviting people they don't know to social events
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Extroverts love meeting new friends. They enjoy socializing with just about anyone. For introverts, however, springing invitees they don’t know on them can cause immense anxiety.
It’s annoying for introverts to have their social plans derailed by the addition of people they've never met before. Introverts form a core group of friends with whom they feel comfortable. It’s not easy for them to open up to new people. They are usually private and tend to keep to themselves, especially around new people. If they were excited to spend time with an extrovert who added unknown people to the mix, it instantly annoys them.
11. Asking too many personal questions
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Introverts can come across as closed off. Often, it’s because they struggle to share personal information with others. Unless they are comfortable around you or have known you for a long time, they may withhold personal information to avoid certain conversations.
Asking too many personal questions is a sure way to annoy introverts. If they want to talk about something, they will initiate the conversation.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
