People Who Can't Stop Ruining Their Own Lives Do These 11 Things On A Constant Basis
Happiness and mental health should always be a priority.
Dikushin Dmitry | Shutterstock It's up to us to take ownership of our own happiness, because self-sabotage will bring us down in one way or another. We owe it to ourselves to wrestle back command of how we think and feel. The world is bad enough, and we don't need to help it along by compounding it with bad life choices and a negative mindset.
Unfortunately, people who can't stop ruining their own lives do these things on a constant basis — whether it's refraining from fun, living in a mess, or hanging with the wrong crowd. But those small victories in life help us feel a little happier, a little more stable, and a little less likely to rage at the next person we meet.
People who can't stop ruining their own lives do these 11 things on a constant basis
1. They don't drink enough water
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When people feel sluggish or down, it's important to drink water. Dehydration has been shown to have a negative impact on short-term memory and attention, mood, and cognitive and motor skills.
To combat this, the U.S. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine suggests men drink 3.7 liters per day and women drink 2.7 liters per day. So, fill up a water bottle once in the morning and once at lunch, which is about 12 glasses altogether.
2. They're surrounded by clutter
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People who can't stop ruining their own lives tend to be surrounded by mess and clutter. Clutter is incredibly stressful to be around and overwhelms us with visual stimuli and distractions. It makes it hard to relax or find what we need to satisfy our needs at any given point.
When people follow a few-step process to declutter their surroundings, they likely find themselves feeling calmer and happy with their surroundings.
3. They don't get enough sun
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Humans are solar-powered, meaning that the sun provides valuable vitamin D that can prevent things like Seasonal Affective Disorder. Natural light increases serotonin and melatonin, which helps aid our circadian rhythm and increases the quality and quantity of our sleep. Plus, people could probably use a little color before hitting the beach.
This doesn't mean people need to stand in the sun for hours on end; rather, a short burst of 10-15 minutes a day will do just fine. Just be sure to wear some sunblock.
4. They're not moving around enough
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When people are stressed and anxious, the last thing they want to do is walk into a room full of people, hit the rowing machine, and wheeze through 30 minutes on an elliptical. But exercise is a great way to supercharge the brain in both the short-term and long-term.
Experts from Harvard Health revealed that exercise improves memory, mood, inflammation, structural brain health, sleep, anxiety, stress, brain size, cognition, and learning ability. And it's something that people can use to their advantage to feel better about themselves and their lives.
5. They're not having fun
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Social isolation is the express lane to things like agoraphobia, depression, pain, chronic fatigue, and poor health. But as a study from Society for Neuroscience found, looking forward to something improves mood and impulse control.
All of these things can be treated with regularly scheduled, metered doses of fun. Whether that means hanging out with friends, going golfing on a solo trip, or taking a vacation, every bit of fun and enjoyment matters.
6. They're not eating healthy
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Our mom has been telling us "eat your vegetables" since before kale became trendy. In addition to living longer and leading healthier lives, people who eat their vegetables tend to suffer from less depression, anxiety, and fatigue. They're less sluggish, too, because they're not consuming sugar and carbs that divert energy to the GI tract and away from their brain.
Instead of self-sabotaging, people should consider adding healthy foods to their diet, whether it's mushrooms and spinach, black beans and herbs, or any delicious combinations of foods and cuisines.
7. They're on their phone too much
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People who can't stop ruining their own lives are glued to their phones on a constant basis. Using social media has actually been linked to increased depression and loneliness, and the time people spend scrolling their feeds instead of being present in the real world eventually takes its toll.
According to multiple studies and research, being on the phone too much and on social media, especially in today's social climate, can negatively affect mental health. It's just not a good idea to constantly be on the phone.
8. They let their bad habits control them
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Whether it's using substances, lying frequently, or gossiping about others, people sabotage themselves by letting their really bad habits take over their lives and control them.
These bad habits make it impossible for people to not only be their authentic selves, but it can become difficult to concentrate, keep up with their responsibilities, or even maintain close relationships. And all these things prevent people from firing on all cylinders.
9. They're never in a 'flow' state
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When people do something and lose track of time and their sense of self — like when they're learning something, and that thing equally challenges and rewards them — that's called "flow state," and getting there is the key to both mastery and bliss.
It decreases stress and increases satisfaction, self-esteem, and self-efficacy. And its effects don't wear off until long after people stop doing whatever put them there. To get into the flow state, that might mean writing every day or hiking once a week — it's practicing new skills that stimulate their mind and body.
10. They don't prioritize their mental health
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People who can't stop ruining their own lives don't put their mental health first. For example, we put gas in our cars, change the oil, flush the transmission, change the tires, and take the engine in for tune-ups. But we treat our cars better than we treat our minds.
Often, people won't seek to optimize their mental health until someone else tells them to, or until someone leaves them, or until the pain is too great to bear, or until their life becomes miserable. People shouldn't let it ever get to that point, and putting in an ounce of preventative maintenance is worth a pound of cure.
11. They're hanging out with the wrong people
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As personal finance expert and entrepreneur Elle Kaplan explained, "Research has shown that... negative attitudes can also affect your intelligence and ability to think... negativity compromises the effectiveness of the neurons in the hippocampus — an important area of the brain responsible for reasoning and memory."
In short, that negative, uncomfortable social circle is bringing a person's mood and cognition down, because who they hang around affects their level of calm. It's best for people to be cognizant of who they keep around.
John Gorman is an essayist, award-winning storyteller, and speaker whose writing focuses on mental health and social justice. His bylines have appeared on The Good Men Project, Elephant Journal, Chicago Tribune, The Globe and Mail, Policy Magazine, among many others.
