11 Things People Used To Be Ashamed Of That Are Now Considered Healthy
As we've evolved as a society, so have our thoughts about what we used to consider shameful.
Look Studio | Shutterstock We've all held ideas that we thought were normal and acceptable just because of how we were raised, what society deems as being appropriate, and even the thoughts of the people that we surround ourselves with. A lot of the things that people were hesitant to support and advocate for, like mental health, actually prioritizing self-care and spending time alone, and being able to say "no" and assert boundaries without feeling guilty, are now things that people feel quite strongly about because the tides have turned. We're now able to have more honest conversations both with ourselves and with those around us. People have started to see that some of those things are not weak, but a true show of power, strength, and above all, extremely healthy.
Of course, this shift didn't happen overnight. It took years and generations of people starting to talk about it and bring attention to these matters for others to realize that they might've been wrong about it in the first place. These changes that happened within our society mean that we don't have to follow the herd, and instead we can start to make healthier choices for ourselves. Because once we start making better choices, it's not long before we realize how much happier we are and how our choices can inspire others to do the same.
Here are 11 things people used to be ashamed of that are now considered healthy:
1. Saying 'no' without feeling guilty
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For so long, many people felt that they couldn't say "no" to certain things. Whether it was because they were raised to always be polite and agreeable at all costs or just because they struggled with being people pleasers, many people just felt that turning something down or trying to assert boundaries meant that they were being rude or even selfish. They worried about what other people would think of them and that they'd get upset.
"Saying no isn’t always negative. It can be a healthy thing. Declining the tasks we can’t simply take on is an exercise in self-care. It’s about respecting our own time, energy, and personal limits, and being respected in return. It’s also about reducing stress and learning how to set boundaries," explained researcher Karen Stollznow.
However, with time, many people have come to realize that saying "no" has less to do with rejection and more to do with self-respect. It just means that you're aware of their limits and needs. You refuse to compromise your sanity to appease others, and that's a true power of strength and putting yourself first.
2. Going to therapy
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It wasn't that long ago that people thought going to therapy was only reserved for those who were "crazy" and "unhinged." Therapy was seen as the last resort and a taboo topic that people would whisper about behind closed doors and turn their noses up at people who were open about going to therapy.
Thankfully, the story has changed because therapy shouldn't just be reserved for people who are truly struggling and suffering from serious mental health problems. Research has shown that in 2023, an estimated 59.2 million adults in the United States received treatment or counseling for their mental health. Therapy is a tool that anyone can use because it's a way to promote growth and get a deeper understanding of oneself. Just like how people take care of their physical health, their mental health is just as important and needs to be taken care of.
3. Living alone
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Living alone was often seen as a sign that someone was just sad and lonely. The first questions people would ask after saying that you lived alone were either one of two things: "When are you going to settle down?" and "Don't you get lonely living all by yourself?" However, living alone has nothing to do with failure and more to do with freedom.
According to research, roughly 13% of American adults live alone. It rises from 4% of adults at ages 18-24 to 9% at 25-34, dips to 8% at 35-44, then rises again to 12% at 45-54, 17% at 55-64, and 26% at 65 and up.
At some point, everyone should experience what it means to live alone. It's a time to learn more about yourself, gain a bit more independence, and know what makes you happy. There's also nothing more fun than having a place that you get to decorate and call your own. Living alone allows you to create an environment that you can thrive in because it doesn't last forever.
4. Choosing not to have children
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For so long, choosing not to have children has received a bit of judgment from others, especially for women. Women who wanted to put themselves first or didn't feel a natural connection to becoming a mother were seen as selfish and an unnatural decision for them to make. It's as if her life couldn't possibly be fulfilling and meaningful without having children.
According to a 2024 Pew Research Center survey, the share of adults younger than 50 without children who say they are unlikely ever to have kids increased from 37% to 47% between 2018 and 2023. Those in younger generations are most likely to say they don’t want to have kids. Women younger than 50 are especially likely to say they don’t want to have children (64% vs. 50% of men).
However, more and more people, especially women, are tuning out the noise and deciding that being a mother doesn't have to be something that's forced upon them. Choosing not to have children is now seen as a more intentional and thoughtful decision about the kind of life you want to live versus the type of life that's expected of you.
5. Openly talking about feelings
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Being vulnerable is something that many people struggle with and even avoid entirely. Having conversations about your deepest fear, the things that make you sad, or even what you're insecure about is something that most people would rather keep to themselves. It's as if there was this unspoken rule that you should keep these details to yourself and smile when someone asks if you're fine.
"In a world that so often values thinking 'logically' and holding back emotions, these genuine moments can be rare, and the idea of being more rather than less emotional with others may seem counterintuitive. Society has shaped our collective beliefs about emotions, often leading us to think of emotions as distracting and unwelcome," explained psychologist James Gross.
However, there's immense power in openly discussing your feelings and being vulnerable. It's extremely healthy when you choose to open up because you're just not allowing those feelings to fester inside of you without being given an outlet.
6. Being single by choice
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Just like choosing not to have children, being single by choice seemed to be something that others couldn't wrap their heads around. If you were single, people would be quick to ask you when you were going to start dating or if you'd met someone yet. It's as if your life couldn't be complete without having a significant other.
However, being single by choice is now seen as something quite powerful. Life isn't always about finding someone, but also just being intentional about choosing yourself. According to a report from the Pew Research Center, 50% of single people are not interested in a committed romantic relationship, and they are not even interested in a date. Being single means you're able to prioritize filling up your own cup versus filling up someone else's. Nothing is fulfilling about chasing a relationship when being single by choice may be something you need to find the joy and happiness in life.
7. Needing rest and downtime
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There's nothing selfish about wanting to practice self-care. There may have been a time when people would rather hustle and work hard until they eventually burned out or had a mental breakdown because they thought that meant they were doing something right, but there's nothing right about neglecting your mental health.
Hustle culture is incredibly damaging, even if the results of that hustle make you proud. Your value as a person shouldn't be determined by how busy you are. Slowly, people are beginning to realize that and are choosing to prioritize rest and downtime. By resting, you're giving yourself more energy actually to tackle the goals that you have for yourself.
8. Celebrating your own wins
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There's nothing attention-seeking or arrogant about being the person who celebrates the small wins that you have from life, despite what others may think. It seems that we're a culture of people who enjoy humility, and while that's important, it shouldn't mean that you're quick to downplay your success or move on to the next thing without acknowledging all that you've accomplished.
Celebrating your big wins is not just about self-reflection but also about acknowledging your progress and reminding yourself that you deserve it above all else. It's not about showing off in the slightest, but owning up to the journey that you've been on.
9. Going back to school later in life
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Going back to school past a certain age may have been something that people criticized others for. It's as if they were "too old" to want to continue learning and gain an education, but there's no expiration date on wanting to get your degree and grow as a person. There are so many reasons why someone may not have been able to finish school, whether it was obstacles in their personal life stopping them, or they just decided against it.
Whatever the reason may be, it doesn't mean someone can't eventually change their mind and decide to go back. There's something powerful about someone choosing to put themself first and maybe embark on a journey that makes them uneasy, but is something they genuinely want for themselves.
10. Living with your parents
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For so long, moving back in with your parents was seen as a shameful decision. It's as if you weren't a "real adult" if you decided to live with your parents. However, that could be far from the truth. The conversation around living with your parents has changed. The cost of living is relatively high, and most young adults can't afford to live on their own and keep their heads above water.
Choosing to live with your parents doesn't mean you've failed at anything. If your family is willing to welcome you back into their home, it's honestly something that should be cherished, considering many people don't have that support and love from their families once they reach adulthood.
11. Solo travel
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Being someone who enjoys traveling on their own can be quite liberating despite the criticism and judgment that other people can have about it. It means that you're willing to explore the world on your terms, and beyond that, being able to travel on your own allows you an opportunity to figure out more about yourself.
Being in an unfamiliar place forces you to trust your instincts and be comfortable with your own company. Many solo travels may be labeled as "lonely." Still, loneliness is the last thing someone might feel from traveling to beautiful locations and spending time immersing themselves in the various cultures.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
