People Who Are Always Fine No Matter What Life Throws At Them Usually Have These 11 Rare Traits
They're effortlessly resilient.
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock Many people who have already been through a lot in life have a strong foundation of resilience to carry them through life today, like a study from Frontiers in Psychiatry explains. The more opportunities you have to practice handling adversity and coping with the hardship, the more prepared you are for enduring it in the future — even if it’s comparatively small things like a breakup or inconvenience.
On top of the endurance and grit these individuals boast, people who are always fine no matter what life throws at them usually have these rare traits. Whether it’s a strong foundation of emotional intelligence or a strong sense of empathy for others in similar situations, they often live their lives in the context of their adversity, without letting it overtake them completely.
People who are always fine no matter what life throws at them usually have these 11 rare traits
1. They focus on what they can control
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
People who are always fine no matter what life throws at them typically only focus on what they can control. They’re the calm in any storm and bring an aura of security to any overly emotional, chaotic, or stressful situation. It’s their emotional resilience that’s truly rare, carrying them through hardship and grief.
They know how to regulate their emotions in the face of uncertainty and often soothe their nervous system by focusing on the things that are in their power. Whether it’s protecting their own emotions in the face of an argument, breathing deeply in moments of anxiety, or working toward a solution during an unexpected work issue, they’re always thinking clearly and in a regulated manner.
2. They're master regulators
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
According to a study from Emotion, people with a greater ability to regulate their emotions often have a heightened sense of well-being because of it. Not only are they protected from anxiety-inducing situations and overwhelming conflict in their everyday lives, but they also control and acknowledge their emotions in the moment.
They’re not suffering from suppressed emotions down the road or holding onto trauma that could be left behind with intentional healing. They’re not afraid of their own company or thoughts because they regularly sit with and regulate them.
3. They don't catastrophize
Josep Suria | Shutterstock
Helpless, rumination, and dramatization are all aspects of catastrophizing — the overthinking tendency that causes people to always imagine or think the worst in any given situation. People who have been through a lot in their lives and have gained emotional resilience because of it may do a lot of overthinking, but it's their rare superpower.
Even though they probably understand the worst-case scenarios in their head, they don’t let catastrophizing send them down a rabbit hole of anxiety, chaos, and fear. They focus on regulating and acknowledging their emotions as they come up, dealing with issues in their control and supporting others, rather than constantly overthinking.
4. They have a strong social circle
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
According to a study from Psychiatry, a strong social circle often enhances resilience against stress and uncertainty, giving people a foundation of support against unexpected change.
People who are always fine no matter what life throws at them usually have this strong social support — always relying on their own resilience and other people’s support to keep them afloat when they’re struggling.
Even though they’re naturally resilient and self-reliant on their own, having this added layer of security, support, and love can’t hurt.
5. They're self-assured and confident
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
No matter what happens in their life or what kinds of issues they come across, a person who’s truly self-assured, gratified, and confident will always be fine. They know how to protect themselves and stand up for what they need, even if it means navigating through moments of fear and fleeting discomfort.
Even when it comes to mental health concerns, like a study from Medicine explains, this kind of self-esteem can protect people from falling into a spiral of anxiety or depression. They know how to take care of themselves, they’re not afraid to say “no” and set boundaries, and their needs come first.
6. They don't carry grudges
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Resentment is an incredibly complicated emotion, often sparked by feeling mistreated, misunderstood, or consistently taken advantage of. For emotionally regulated people who deal with and acknowledge their emotions as they come up, resentment is far less common.
They don’t hold grudges or ruminate over these struggles, but deal with and communicate them right away. Even if it’s initially uncomfortable to express their concerns, they’d rather have them out in the open than rooted deep inside, sabotaging their well-being and mood.
They’re always fine, no matter what comes their way, because they’re not carrying around the heavy feeling of resentment or letting struggles, concerns, and complex emotions go unnoticed.
7. They trust themselves
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
According to psychologist Dr. Dan J. Tomasulo, the key to navigating uncertainty, discomfort, and change is having a strong foundation of internal trust, confidence, and peace. If you don’t trust yourself, of course you’re not going to be confident in your ability to handle conflict or challenges.
Even if it seems insignificant, the ability to speak positively about yourself and find trust in how you respond to things is incredibly important for navigating life.
8. They don't compare themselves to others
Chay_Tee | Shutterstock
When you’re always comparing yourself to others, you’re subconsciously seeking approval and validation from how other people live their lives. However, when you’re internally gratified and self-assured, you live life on your own accord, without wasting time or energy growing envious over what other people have.
Especially when you’re comparing yourself to others online, you’re set up to fail — both from the harms of screen time and social media, but also because you’re surely not seeing the full picture.
9. Their nervous system is regulated
ViDI Studio | Shutterstock
Even when we’re not literally in danger, our nervous system can resort to a “fight or flight” mode to cope with feelings of anxiety, fear, and discomfort if we’re not regulated. When a person’s nervous system is in this flighty state, it often urges us to avoid conflict, suffer in silence, and run away from challenges, even if those are the things we need to truly heal.
People who are always fine no matter what life throws at them have a positive relationship with their nervous system. They regularly take steps to relieve internal stress and chaos, rely on nervous system soothing rituals for peace, and take action when things get hard, so it’s no surprise that they’re stronger for the adversity they face.
10. They find meaning in challenges
CarlosBarquero | Shutterstock
Whether it’s discomfort during conflict, a challenge in the workplace, or loss, people who are always fine no matter what life throws at them usually find meaning, even in the difficult moments of life. Even when things are tough, they know there’s something to learn or someone to support.
So, even if they’re struggling through life, there’s always something to appreciate, look forward to, or cherish.
11. They rest without guilt
Dejan Dundjerski | Shutterstock
Resting and prioritizing self-care without guilt are things that resilient people do well, all the time. They make time to look out for themselves, even with a million things on their mind or responsibilities piling up. Of course, they don’t avoid people or things intentionally, but they know that to show up as their best selves, they have to rest, take breaks, and take care.
Rest isn’t just about restoring the physical body’s energy — it also promotes better relationships, mental health, mood, happiness, and a million other things. So, when someone’s intentional about rest, chances are they’re going to be fine, no matter what life throws at them.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
